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[Unknownsld]

started seeing this girl i work with. we sleep together on the first night and start a relationship immediately. found out she was dumped by her bf the day we hook up. a week after we started dating she calls it off but acts like we are still together. never tells the ex who kept harassing her that she was seeing me. we continue to see each other. she contacts me every day first, usually waking me up when her kid wakes her up. when at work, only kisses me or touches me when no one is able to see us. keeps using the excuse that public display of affection is forbidden at work. whenever we go out, i usually end up being the one to pay cause she has no money. asks me to come spend time with her on her break on the days that i am not working. but the days we work together, she doesn't ask me to come over, when i ask her if she wants me to come see her she says "if you want to". she told me tonight that even though she is usually an affectionate and loving person, she isn't right now and won't be for a very long time because of the guy she was dating before. i need everyone's help and advice... is she interested in me or not?

[dasein]

Sorry to say it sounds like you are a typical rebound/placeholder. The "I'm usually affectionate but not now because of an ex" is a subtle indication of low interest in you. Women don't say things like this to men they are very attracted to, but say it all the time to guys they consider "good enough for now." Have heard it before myself and took it as face value. Will never make that mistake again. Odds are she will either go back to the ex or BBD you sooner than later. The only way to salvage, and it's low probability, is to withdraw entirely and get with other women, raising your social value in her eyes. Good luck whatever you decide.

[wheream_i]

Dump her ass. She doesn't deserve an explanation as to why. If you don't, she will leave you high and dry to go back to her ex.

[Snowman219]

started seeing this girl i work with. we sleep together on the first night and start a relationship immediately. found out she was dumped by her bf the day we hook up. a week after we started dating she calls it off but acts like we are still together. never tells the ex who kept harassing her that she was seeing me. we continue to see each other. she contacts me every day first, usually waking me up when her kid wakes her up. when at work, only kisses me or touches me when no one is able to see us. keeps using the excuse that public display of affection is forbidden at work. whenever we go out, i usually end up being the one to pay cause she has no money. asks me to come spend time with her on her break on the days that i am not working. but the days we work together, she doesn't ask me to come over, when i ask her if she wants me to come see her she says "if you want to". she told me tonight that even though she is usually an affectionate and loving person, she isn't right now and won't be for a very long time because of the guy she was dating before. i need everyone's help and advice... is she interested in me or not?

 

RUUUUUUUUN! DON'T LOOK BACK! Did I really have to type this? I'm not being rude, but just being honest. It's seems like you're being taken for a ride...like a snail riding a tortoise.... (Name that comedy?)

 

SLOW DOWN! JESUS! I WANNA GET THERE BUT I WANNA GET THERE ALIVE!

[veggirl]

No she is not truly interested. And this is precisely why you don't start a "relationship" ON THE FIRST DATE. You knew nothing about her!

 

She is rebounding, she is using you for attention/affection on HER terms.

 

Dump her. Find a girl who isn't newly out of a relationship, who doesn't keep you a secret, and who LIKES YOU.

[ladyabstrused]

She's not interested.. probably only when she's yearning for some company. Yup, I think so too that think she's using you.

[Unknownsld]

she has also told me that if we stay together for a long time she would let me have a baby with someone else which is very weird to me. i've known her for a while previous to us dating because we work together and have worked together for a while now.

[ladyabstrused]

she has also told me that if we stay together for a l/ng time she would let me have a baby with someone else which is very weird to me. i've known her for a while previous to us dating because we work together and have worked together for a while now.

 

Yeah, it is weird for her to say that to you. :\

 

I think you should move on, find someone who would treat you better.

[Art_Critic]

So she allowed you to have sloppy seconds without you knowing it.. she sounds like prize.

It seems you got used and she isn't interested in you.

I'd bet 100 to one she still wants the ex and is trying to get him back.. no matter what she tells you

[veggirl]

she has also told me that if we stay together for a long time she would let me have a baby with someone else which is very weird to me. i've known her for a while previous to us dating because we work together and have worked together for a while now.

 

She's a freaking psycho. Run.

[oaks]

She's using you for one of these reasons:

 

• to get over her ex
  
• to get back at her ex
  
• to get back with her ex
  

[udolipixie]

I highly doubt she's interested in the way you may want her to be since after a week of dating she called it off. Likely you're a fwb, nsa, or booty call she hangs out with.

 

Her telling you she isn't an affectionate and loving person right now seems to be her way of telling you not to confuse you two hanging out as interest.

 

The bit of what would happen if you two hypothetically were together suggests her trying to warn you away from having any ideas of a relationship with her.

Edited June 8, 2012 by udolipixie

[Unknownsld]

I highly doubt she's interested in the way you may want her to be since after a week of dating she called it off. Likely you're a fwb, nsa, or booty call she hangs out with.

 

Her telling you she isn't an affectionate and loving person right now seems to be her way of telling you not to confuse you two hanging out as interest.

 

The bit of what would happen if you two hypothetically were together suggests her trying to warn you away from having any ideas of a relationship with her.

 

i was starting to think she wasn't interested in me that way as well. one thing that continues to confuse me is that she tells me she loves me every once in a while. i mention how i feel somewhat often and she gets cuddly when i do. however she rarely says it back. her reason for wanting me to have a baby with another female is that she doesn't like the feeling when she is pregnant, always sick and hurting, having trouble breathing, etc.. she weighs around 95 lbs and stands 5'1", so i could see that making sense but it still bothers me. i suggested a surrogate to carry the baby for her and she said it would cost a lot of money as well as the surrogate could take the baby from us.

[udolipixie]

Did she state you two were in a relationship during this period of her telling you she loves you every once in a while and rarely says it back when you do?

 

If yes she may be taking what she can get without having to give much in return resulting from badly rebounding.

 

If no she may be appeasing you having you feel secure in your relationship without the actual security of being in a relationship. Or she could genuinely love you but not be in love with you or love you as a romantic/sexual long-term partner.

[veggirl]

i was starting to think she wasn't interested in me that way as well. one thing that continues to confuse me is that she tells me she loves me every once in a while. i mention how i feel somewhat often and she gets cuddly when i do. however she rarely says it back. her reason for wanting me to have a baby with another female is that she doesn't like the feeling when she is pregnant, always sick and hurting, having trouble breathing, etc.. she weighs around 95 lbs and stands 5'1", so i could see that making sense but it still bothers me. i suggested a surrogate to carry the baby for her and she said it would cost a lot of money as well as the surrogate could take the baby from us.

 

For the love of god!!! How long have you been "dating" this basketcase?? Why are you two even talking about BABIES??? Saying I love you? Are you even a couple?!

 

Please, ffs stop this madness. She is crazy and you are drawn to the ups and downs. It's NOT healthy.

 

Get OFF the crazy train!

 

For future reference, here are some uhh general steps you should follow when entering new relationships:

 

1- meet

2- properly date and discuss future goals in general (ie: marriage, family, career)

3- establish exclusive relationship

4- happily carry on said relationship for a length of time

5- marry

6- children

 

If you want #5 and 6, you do #s 1-4 prior!

 

She is nuts, and you love it. This is going to end in disaster, and most likely with her leaving you for the next guy who strikes her fancy. He'll take some pity on her too and love her drama and she'll tell HIM how they can have a baby too!

 

Gosh how romantic