Why Do People think Lowly Of Hookers?

[Mme. Chaucer]

It sounds like Rob has had a hard time recently, so I'm cutting him some slack while he licks his wounds. It's hard to patch oneself up and look dignified at the same time.

 

Easier for you to say than it is for us womenfolk. He's put us all on notice!

[Els]

It sounds like Rob has had a hard time recently, so I'm cutting him some slack while he licks his wounds. It's hard to patch oneself up and look dignified at the same time.

 

Fair point, but IMO he brought his current situation down onto his own head, both in his interactions with his wife, as well as on these forums. Someone who believes that sex is man's God-given right and his wife's 'duty', and clearly states that he doesn't care about the woman's own sexual needs and desires as long as they fulfill this duty (in another thread), is going to have problems with any real sexual relationships, period. His constant justification of his choice to cheat on his wife, denigrating of women, incredible delusions, and personal attacks towards other posters on this thread are the reason he has received little empathy here. I mean, look at his responses towards some of us calling his relationship with a prostitute what it truly is.

 

I have no problems with men who visit prostitutes. What I do have problems with are men like Robert and his ludicrous statements about women, which is an entirely different subset.

[123321]

Fair point, but IMO he brought his current situation down onto his own head, both in his interactions with his wife, as well as on these forums. Someone who believes that sex is man's God-given right and his wife's 'duty', and clearly states that he doesn't care about the woman's own sexual needs and desires as long as they fulfill this duty (in another thread), is going to have problems with any real sexual relationships, period.

 

Good enough, however someone who says that isn't always someone who lives like that. People say radical things sometimes because they are angry and butt-hurt at life.

[Robert Z]

Please explain to me what I could possibly feel defensive about? I'm not the one making claims that I am someone's especially prized customer and trying to convince anyone that my prostitute is having sex with me for reasons other than to earn a living.

 

The fact that you would present my comments in this fashion, which has nothing to do with what I said, shows that you are indeed defensive. It is insulting that you would reduce my words to such a pedestrian point of view. It shows that you assume I'm stupid. Why? Is this your immediate assumption about women and men, that even a 20+ year old kid can run circles around an experienced negotiator and businessman? No doubt they put on the charms, but I'm not stupid... even if I'm a man.

 

I have presented a picture of something out of line with your expectations, so now you are trying to misrepresent my views in order to create a false premise. This is precisely the sort of manipulation of which I speak. You are being dishonest by misrepresenting what i have said.

[Robert Z]

It sounds like Rob has had a hard time recently, so I'm cutting him some slack while he licks his wounds. It's hard to patch oneself up and look dignified at the same time.

 

True, but this isn't just about my marriage. I have watched the pattern with my mother and sisters, my aunts, girlfriends, friends wives and girlfriends, a fiance, and a wife. The truth of the matter is that I was a hopeless romantic. What you see now is the result of a lifetime of experience.

 

I think the need for raw and meaningless sex with young beautiful women, has more to do with being robbed of half of my life, as I see it. Most people who know my personal business are shocked at what I've tolerated. So judge as you will, but my inner confidence comes from knowing.

 

The thing is, in spite of what may sound malicious due to latent anger, I love women. I am a complete sucker for a warm smile or a tear. But I also understand what drives women. The nesting instinct, control issues, reproductive drives, hormones... I don't want to deal with these things. I just want a warm body, some friendly pillow talk, and great sex with beautiful women. I've paid my dues. I deserve it.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I have presented a picture of something out of line with your expectations, so now you are trying to misrepresent my views in order to create a false premise. This is precisely the sort of manipulation of which I speak. You are being dishonest by misrepresenting what i have said.

 

Just keep telling yourself this stuff.

[mario_C]

If this is too off topic forgive me and move on to the next comment...

 

What bothers me more than prostitution is the glorification of pimps. Why do we do that? Men go so far as to complement each other: "You pimp!" "You mack daddy!" and all that.

Pimps monopolize the business of prostitutes in their "care", psychologically abuse them, or just plain beat and abuse them. What is so awesome about that?!

[KathyM]

If this is too off topic forgive me and move on to the next comment...

 

What bothers me more than prostitution is the glorification of pimps. Why do we do that? Men go so far as to complement each other: "You pimp!" "You mack daddy!" and all that.

Pimps monopolize the business of prostitutes in their "care", psychologically abuse them, or just plain beat and abuse them. What is so awesome about that?!

Nothing awesome about that. Sick creeps trying to make money off of the degradation of women.

[johan]

If this is too off topic forgive me and move on to the next comment...

 

What bothers me more than prostitution is the glorification of pimps. Why do we do that? Men go so far as to complement each other: "You pimp!" "You mack daddy!" and all that.

Pimps monopolize the business of prostitutes in their "care", psychologically abuse them, or just plain beat and abuse them. What is so awesome about that?!

 

That's what it used to be like. But technology has made it so the average "mom and pop" prostitution ring can be run by only one or two pimps from anywhere in the world. It's true! GPS has made it so the ho's can be tracked and given the most efficient routes to the right street corners. Credit card readers are built right into the bitches' phones so that transactions are deposited straight into Daddy's account, or even shared out between the accounts of the ho's as well. In this day and age, it's not uncommon for the ho's to never have even met their pimps, let alone take a beating from one.

 

The efficiencies that have come to the market have reduced margins so much that Daddy has to treat his bitches right or else risk losing market share.

 

These days, a finance degree or an MBA is pretty much the minimum qualification for the successful pimp. He'll face long hours in the office at first, until he builds up a clientele and masters the technical aspects of the business. The rewards make it worthwhile in the end.

[Leigh 87]

This is the longest thread I have started.

 

I can't believe it is fcken 60 pages.

 

 

I have not had time to read all the responses even!

 

I Just hate judgmental people.............

 

 

I would not want my daughter being a hooker, but I do not think less of them......... I think they have the capacity to be just as good of a person as I do.

 

 

One think that makes me laugh though, is: people who think hookers are responsible for destroying marriages and blabalbla... out dated,, ignorat idiots!!!!!!!!!!! yuck:sick: I can't stand to be around such people.

[KathyM]

This is the longest thread I have started.

 

I can't believe it is fcken 60 pages.

 

 

I have not had time to read all the responses even!

 

I Just hate judgmental people.............

 

 

I would not want my daughter being a hooker, but I do not think less of them......... I think they have the capacity to be just as good of a person as I do.

 

 

One think that makes me laugh though, is: people who think hookers are responsible for destroying marriages and blabalbla... out dated,, ignorat idiots!!!!!!!!!!! yuck:sick: I can't stand to be around such people.

Your judgementalism is showing. Or is it only people whose philosophy you disagree with that can be considered judgemental? Pardon me for thinking women should be treated with respect, and not bought and sold like pieces of meat.

[Leigh 87]

Your judgementalism is showing. Or is it only people whose philosophy you disagree with that can be considered judgemental? Pardon me for thinking women should be treated with respect, and not bought and sold like pieces of meat.

 

 

 

 

You are deluded, thinking hookers have anything to do with men cheating. If a man has the capacity to cheat, and WANTS to cheat, he WILL cheat regardless of a prostitute being available.

I agree that selling your body is a very, very BAD concept... but you are pretty judgmental. You judge men and women who want alternate styles of relaitonships ( I can tell..).. I am sure you think men and women who swing or want other sexual partners cannot be in a loving relationship. ( even though you can not gauge their emotions, becausse your not THEM.. yet you assume to know how all human minds work:sick:)

Sorry,. but you scream to me like your a person who thinks anything outside of the " traditional" relationship, cannot be true love, and cannot be " right" for anyone.

Your the one that thinks people who have different relationship styles to YOURS, are not in love or happy.

 

..... Selling your body for money is very demoralizing, and it be a very bad long term career. However - there IS a need for sex for men.

Some men CANNOT get girls in real life, and therefore need to either: go without sex, or pay for it.

The ethical debate in this thread, I wanted to gear towards the paradox's of:

- men really enjoy and want sex. Some men cannot get sex at all, or very easily.

- selling your body is wrong and unhealthy, and would send most peopl einto a very bad place, psychologically.............

- Yet jerking off to a magazine will not cut it for some men, and if they cannot get girls, I think it is good that they CAN experience sex.

 

....... My personal opinion, is that there should be far LESS hookers, but that the service is important, and therefore less women should do it - the ones who CAN handle its currency........

And even THESE women should have a shelf life - they should be made to leave the profession after a year or two, so they can heal and overcome it.

I think some women do have it in them, TO detatch from the sex. Very few can probably truly do it and be left relatively unscathed, and would still have damage.. but not detrimental enough to hinder their whole life's happiness.

.......a LOt of men, respectable men with decent jobs, who are not total loser who cannot get a lay - love being able to have a night out with their guy mates, and then all go to the brothel every once in a while...... In some cultures, it is an enjoyable past time to occasionally do.

I know a lot of grounded, healthy, decent men who like to go to the brothel. What makes them bad people, if they are single?

Seriosuly: how on earth does a man going to the brothel, as part of their culture and social group, make them BAD?

I think it is close minded and ignorant, for people to assume men who go to hookers are " bad people"........ YOUR the " bad people, in my opinion, for judging.

A BAD person is: someone who enjoys hurting people: who abuses animals: who is RICH yet does not give to the less fortunate because they do not care: who steals and lies to friends.

There is a LOT MORE to a " bad person" than seeing a bloody hooker.

[nofool4u]

Originally Posted by nofool4u

 

 

A hooker is good for something! At least, she better be!

 

Nah, like a comedian I saw once said, "Ladies, you don't have to be good, you just have to be there."

[KathyM]

You are deluded, thinking hookers have anything to do with men cheating. If a man has the capacity to cheat, and WANTS to cheat, he WILL cheat regardless of a prostitute being available.

 

Prostitutes enable men to cheat on their wives. Most customers of prostitutes are married men. Sure, there may be non-prostitutes willing to enable men to cheat on their wives also. Neither is a good thing. Both types are destructive. If a drug pusher sells a kid drugs, does the fact that the kid could buy drugs from some other pusher mean that the one who did supply him is less culpable? The answer is no.

 

I agree that selling your body is a very, very BAD concept...

 

Then why are you supporting it? Why do you defend it? Why do you even promote it on this board, which you often do?

 

but you are pretty judgmental. You judge men and women who want alternate styles of relaitonships ( I can tell..)

 

Sure, I'm judging prostitution to be harmful to marriages and families, degrading to women, encouraging human trafficking, putting women at risk of abuse. I don't feel guilty for judging it to be harmful. It IS harmful.

 

.. I am sure you think men and women who swing or want other sexual partners cannot be in a loving relationship. ( even though you can not gauge their emotions, becausse your not THEM.. yet you assume to know how all human minds work:sick:)

 

It's not swingers that are going to prostitutes, my dear. It's married men who are cheating on their wives.

 

Sorry,. but you scream to me like your a person who thinks anything outside of the " traditional" relationship, cannot be true love, and cannot be " right" for anyone.

 

It's not showing love for your wife by going to a prostitute. It is showing disrespect to her and disregard for their marriage.

 

Your the one that thinks people who have different relationship styles to YOURS, are not in love or happy.

 

We're talking about prostitution here, not "relationship styles". We're talking about men cheating on their wives with prostitutes.

 

..... Selling your body for money is very demoralizing, and it be a very bad long term career.

 

Yet you continue to support and even promote it on this board. Why is that, if you think it is so demoralizing?

 

However - there IS a need for sex for men.

Some men CANNOT get girls in real life, and therefore need to either: go without sex, or pay for it.

 

Unfortunately, most of the customers of prostitutes are married. Those who go to prostitutes because they can't get anyone else make up a very small percentage of the prostitute's business.

 

The ethical debate in this thread, I wanted to gear towards the paradox's of:

- men really enjoy and want sex. Some men cannot get sex at all, or very easily.

- selling your body is wrong and unhealthy, and would send most peopl einto a very bad place, psychologically.............

- Yet jerking off to a magazine will not cut it for some men, and if they cannot get girls, I think it is good that they CAN experience sex.

 

The harms that the profession does far outweigh any good.

 

....... My personal opinion, is that there should be far LESS hookers, but that the service is important, and therefore less women should do it - the ones who CAN handle its currency........

 

When prostitution is legalized, it creates more demand, therefore more hookers and more human trafficking to fill the increased demand. That's not a good thing.

 

And even THESE women should have a shelf life - they should be made to leave the profession after a year or two, so they can heal and overcome it.

I think some women do have it in them, TO detatch from the sex. Very few can probably truly do it and be left relatively unscathed, and would still have damage.. but not detrimental enough to hinder their whole life's happiness.

 

It's destructive to women, psychologically, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Once they get into it, it is hard to get out of it. It's a spiral downward, and it has lasting negative psychological effects on a woman.

 

.......a LOt of men, respectable men with decent jobs, who are not total loser who cannot get a lay

 

It's not that difficult for the vast majority of men to get laid the normal way in this day and age. Men just like the convenience and easy availability when they go to those brothels.

 

- love being able to have a night out with their guy mates, and then all go to the brothel every once in a while...... In some cultures, it is an enjoyable past time to occasionally do.

 

Yes, it is, and mostly married men will take part in that. They like the convenience of buying sex without their wife's knowledge. Too bad this "service" makes it so easy for them to cheat on their wives, but as long as there are women willing to do this, or men forcing women to do this, there will be men taking advantage of it, and ruining their marriage in the process.

 

I know a lot of grounded, healthy, decent men who like to go to the brothel. What makes them bad people, if they are single?

 

Because they are supporting an industry that is demeaning to women, that promotes the trafficking of women and children, and that enables married men to cheat on their wives. It's a destructive industry, and the people who support it with their money or their advocacy are participating in it's destructiveness.

 

Seriosuly: how on earth does a man going to the brothel, as part of their culture and social group, make them BAD?

I think it is close minded and ignorant, for people to assume men who go to hookers are " bad people"........ YOUR the " bad people, in my opinion, for judging.

 

You're judging me as well--because I have a different opinion than you.

 

A BAD person is: someone who enjoys hurting people: who abuses animals: who is RICH yet does not give to the less fortunate because they do not care: who steals and lies to friends.

 

Enabling a married man to cheat on his wife is hurting someone--his wife and children. It's also taking money that rightfully belongs to the family for the purpose of enabling that married man to cheat.

 

There is a LOT MORE to a " bad person" than seeing a bloody hooker.

 

Sure, there are a lot of bad people in the world who steel and murder, and cheat others, and any number of bad things. Because there are other bad behaviors that are destructive to people doesn't make this occupation any less destructive than it is. The premise of your thread is a bit disingenuous. You asked why people think lowly of hookers. I answered the question--because that occupation is destructive to marriages and families, since most of the customers are married men, and because it is demeaning to women who are allowing themselves to be treated like pieces of meat to be bought and sold. Why do you ask the question and then call me judgemental when I give you the answer? If you don't want people to answer this question, why did you ask it? I'm just telling you want you wanted to know. Why berate someone who is just giving you an honest answer to your question? Or were you not looking for honest answers, but only looking for people to agree with you?

[somedude81]

KathyM is 100% right.

 

Every time I had sex with a hooker, I was cheating on my wife.

[KathyM]

KathyM is 100% right.

 

Every time I had sex with a hooker, I was cheating on my wife.

You are the exception to the rule, Somedude. Most customers of prostitutes are married men. I didn't say ALL of them are, just that the majority are married men. And I think you could get laid the normal way if you would adjust your standards to more realistic ones.

[fortyninethousand322]

If you don't like prostitutes just don't go to one. Problem solved.

 

I don't like the Yankees, so I don't go to their games. See how consumer choice works? Pretty easy if you ask me.

[somedude81]

You are the exception to the rule, Somedude. Most customers of prostitutes are married men. I didn't say ALL of them are, just that the majority are married men.

The exception?

 

If only hookers would pass out a questionnaire to their clients.

 

1. Have you been with a hooker before?

2. How old are you?

3. Are you married?

 

Until that actually happens, there is no way to know that most of the men who see hookers are married.

[KathyM]

The exception?

 

If only hookers would pass out a questionnaire to their clients.

 

1. Have you been with a hooker before?

2. How old are you?

3. Are you married?

 

Until that actually happens, there is no way to know that most of the men who see hookers are married.

That's what studies show--most are married. I posted statistics on that earlier in this thread. And the prostitute does not care that the guy is married, as long as she gets paid. The prostitutes know that many of these guys are married--they don't care. They are doing this for the money, and a major portion of their money would be lost if they didn't take on married men. I've read testimonies from former prostitutes saying how their customers do not hide the fact that they are married. They have their wedding ring on. Some even talk about their wives to the prostitute. Some even call their wives from the hotel room where they met the prostitute, and talk to their wives with the prostitute present in the room. They know many of these guys are married. They don't care. As long as they get their money, that's all they care about.

[somedude81]

That's what studies show--most are married. I posted statistics on that earlier in this thread.

How would these studies know that most of the hookers clients are married? As I said before, I doubt most hookers actually ask if the client is married or not. Sure some guys would keep their wedding band on, but I really doubt that the majority of clients are wearing rings.

 

And the prostitute does not care that the guy is married, as long as she gets paid.

Of course a prostitute would not care if the client is married or not. She'd be stupid to refuse somebody for a reason like that. Also, it's not her place to pass judgement, she's just doing her job.

 

The only real person to blame if a married man goes to a hooker, is the man. If he didn't try to get a hooker, he'd probably try to go for a woman in a bar instead.

 

Kathy, since you obviously care about this subject, I suggest you doing research on cheating men in general. Find out how many men who cheat actually use a prostitute, and how many guys just sleep with women they already know or random women they pick up. You could also spend some time reading the infidelity and Other woman forums. And I'm pretty sure that prostitutes would hardly come up.

[carhill]

Something to consider is shall the purveyors of all vices detrimental and injurious to families be held responsible and accountable for their enabling/providing/procuring of acts and substances and articles which steal the food out of children's mouths, brutalize women or men or children, destroy the fabric of family life and cast people out into the wasteland? Why target just hookers? It's a slippery slope. Depending on how slippery, there could be a goodly portion of us engaged in commerce/work/pursuits which support or suborn this enabling/providing/procuring. Food for thought.

 

My main judgment, in my locale, aligns with that of law enforcement; prostitution is illegal. I think lowly of people who engage in repetitive illegal acts. If prostitution were legal, like say getting drunk at a bar, I'd then apply the slippery slope argument and judge equitably.

 

I still never told my male hooker story. Needless to say, the female client's husband was quite surprised when his truck was impounded as evidence. Bet he got a new seat, at minimum.

[Nicomis]

The simple fact is this; Prostitution is illegal so cops can bust poor lonely men and government can take their money, so pimps and organized crime can reap the profits instead of the girls, so fat angry women can still get sex, because there are men who are so hard up they will give it to them, and women in general can maintain CONTROL using that thing between their legs that's more valuble than gold. Sex as a weapon goes out the window when a man can get it anywhere without fearing incarceration and public ridicule. When was prostitution criminalized in the U.S.? When women got the right to vote, and some greedy politician wanted those votes. Same with Marijuana. Impose your morals on someone else. Most men are in favor of hookers and weed. :-)

[KathyM]

How would these studies know that most of the hookers clients are married? As I said before, I doubt most hookers actually ask if the client is married or not. Sure some guys would keep their wedding band on, but I really doubt that the majority of clients are wearing rings.

 

 

Of course a prostitute would not care if the client is married or not. She'd be stupid to refuse somebody for a reason like that. Also, it's not her place to pass judgement, she's just doing her job.

 

The only real person to blame if a married man goes to a hooker, is the man. If he didn't try to get a hooker, he'd probably try to go for a woman in a bar instead.

 

Kathy, since you obviously care about this subject, I suggest you doing research on cheating men in general. Find out how many men who cheat actually use a prostitute, and how many guys just sleep with women they already know or random women they pick up. You could also spend some time reading the infidelity and Other woman forums. And I'm pretty sure that prostitutes would hardly come up.

I know it's hard for you to believe that most customers are married because you don't want to believe that, but those are the facts, and I've read several studies showing the same thing, as well as many testimonies from prostitutes that say the same thing. Most of their customers are married. Her "doing her job" is mainly enabling men to cheat on their wives. That is her prime job description, whether you want to acknowledge the nasty truth of the matter or not. I know you'd prefer to think of them as only serving lonely men's needs, but that is not the reality. The majority of customers are married, and they go to hookers because there is less chance of discovery than if they approached someone else for sex.

 

As Threebyfate mentioned earlier in the thread, when a robbery takes place, is it just the robber that is at fault, or is it the gettaway driver/accomplis as well? It takes two to cheat, so I'll put some blame on the women who make a living off of doing just that--the enablers, just like I'd put some of the blame on a non-professional OW.

 

I've actually read a lot of testimonies from BS's whose husbands cheated on them with prostitutes when I did a research project last summer. Just think of all the cases in the news where married men did this. I actually do post a lot on the OW/OM board and the infidelity board, because I do know a lot about the subject, and I do know people who have been negatively affected by it (infidelity in general), and so I have read a lot about infidelity and heard first hand accounts from people that I know, one of whom was cheated on through a prostitute. But I think I've done enough research on the topic for now. I've posted evidence to show that most customers are married men.

[KathyM]

Something to consider is shall the purveyors of all vices detrimental and injurious to families be held responsible and accountable for their enabling/providing/procuring of acts and substances and articles which steal the food out of children's mouths, brutalize women or men or children, destroy the fabric of family life and cast people out into the wasteland? Why target just hookers? It's a slippery slope. Depending on how slippery, there could be a goodly portion of us engaged in commerce/work/pursuits which support or suborn this enabling/providing/procuring. Food for thought.

 

My main judgment, in my locale, aligns with that of law enforcement; prostitution is illegal. I think lowly of people who engage in repetitive illegal acts. If prostitution were legal, like say getting drunk at a bar, I'd then apply the slippery slope argument and judge equitably.

 

I still never told my male hooker story. Needless to say, the female client's husband was quite surprised when his truck was impounded as evidence. Bet he got a new seat, at minimum.

Nothing is more detrimental to marriages and families than infidelity. Infidelity is involved in 90% of all divorces according to some statistics I've read--certainly the majority in any case. The majority of cases of marital infidelity result in divorce.

[Nicomis]

I know it's hard for you to believe that most customers are married because you don't want to believe that, but those are the facts, and I've read several studies showing the same thing, as well as many testimonies from prostitutes that say the same thing. Most of their customers are married. Her "doing her job" is mainly enabling men to cheat on their wives. That is her prime job description, whether you want to acknowledge the nasty truth of the matter or not. I know you'd prefer to think of them as only serving lonely men's needs, but that is not the reality. The majority of customers are married, and they go to hookers because there is less chance of discovery than if they approached someone else for sex.

 

As Threebyfate mentioned earlier in the thread, when a robbery takes place, is it just the robber that is at fault, or is it the gettaway driver/accomplis as well? It takes two to cheat, so I'll put some blame on the women who make a living off of doing just that--the enablers, just like I'd put some of the blame on a non-professional OW.

 

I've actually read a lot of testimonies from BS's whose husbands cheated on them with prostitutes when I did a research project last summer. Just think of all the cases in the news where married men did this. I actually do post a lot on the OW/OM board and the infidelity board, because I do know a lot about the subject, and I do know people who have been negatively affected by it (infidelity in general), and so I have read a lot about infidelity and heard first hand accounts from people that I know, one of whom was cheated on through a prostitute. But I think I've done enough research on the topic for now. I've posted evidence to show that most customers are married men.

I'm sorry but there is less crap in a cow pasture than in this post. There is no possible way for you to know, worldwide, that most johns are married men. If I had to make a guess, it's probably the hordes of lonely divorced men who discovered that getting laid in your late 30's through 50's is not as easy as it was the last time they were single. I have a friend who is an "escort", and she tells me this is usually the case. Some poor bastard that has no idea how to get a woman anymore, and wants to experience the sex women like you would have him do without. Fat guys, ugly guys, crippled guys, and clueless "good guys". Why do you think these PUA gurus make so much money? Because we all forget what made us successful with women. It's all counter intuitive, but 25 year olds are just that way. Men forget that you have to "dumb" yourself into getting laid, so they get hookers after the wives take half of their stuff and leave them sexless.