Ms_Sweetness Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 I posted a little bit ago about this new guy that I met who said at the beginning that he didn't think he wanted a relationship just yet well here is an update. We met 6 months ago and since then we have spent nearly EVERY day together after he got off work. We went to the unique restaurants and all sorts of places. All of these events were paid by him. When I offered to pitch in, he'd always stop me. Yes, I understand that he said he is not sure about a relationship several weeks ago but I'm confused as to what we are doing. It is to a point were I feel guilty about going out with other guys. He calls me everyday at least twice a day even if it is just to tell me about somthing funny that just happened. We usually spend at least 2 hrs on the phone daily. I'm treating this relationship as a friendly one because that's what he said, but it is still confusing. I like that there is no pressure but I'm not sure where we are headed and I'm not yet comfortable asking. He even cooks dinner for me some evenings. I really like those things about him. We still have never been physical other than goodbye hugs. He will however, drink from my cup or take bites after I've eaten some of my food. I really like him and he treats me well so I plan to go with the flow. I don't know what the problem is! I am very attracted to him so it is difficult to not want to attack him sometimes:) Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Very confusing I'm sure! Well, in your situation I would define the relationship as he does. It is a non-sexual relationship and therefore you are not his girlfriend. He doesn't seem to want it any other way (or hasn't said so), so you are free to not spend every night with him and to go out and meet other guys. If you are starting to feel guilty about talking to other guys, then perhaps you need to disentangle yourself from this. You could even say you would have to see less of him because you need to develop other relationships as he doesn't appear to want one. I guess you won't do it, as you are so keen for this to turn into something, but I feel there is more to this than meets the eye and something he is not telling you. He doesn't need to tell you now because you are going along with this rather drawn-out game of exclusive friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms_Sweetness Posted June 8, 2012 Author Share Posted June 8, 2012 Thank you! I also feel that there may be more that he is not telling. I just don't know how to get it out of him. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 I'm not sure I've helped at all. If you've been with him 6 months and he hasn't said, then maybe you need to do something different. Have you ever asked him why he isn't looking for a relationship now, not necessarily with you? Maybe he's gay or has a very low sex drive. Maybe he has hang-ups about sex. Whatever the situation, do you want things to carry on the way they are? If you knew they wouldn't change, would you carry on? Link to post Share on other sites
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