Confused by Long Distance!

[Helen]

I have a relationship problem that is really starting to put a strain on me, and I was wondering if I could get your opinion on the matter.

 

About a year ago, I met a wonderful man who was transferred due to his job to my state. We spent a majority of our time together, and were very much in love. I really thought he was THE ONE. I mean, everyone says that you know it when you see it, and I knew it.

 

Well about two months ago he was sent off overseas for a business trip, after which he would be back in his hometown, and I would move out there to live with him. He was always very reassuring that this is what he wanted and he wanted our future to be together. We have been keeping in contact through email and such, and although the long distance hasn't been fun, it's been tolerable.

 

Well about two weeks ago, he sent me a message implying that he was going to be so busy when he got back, that he didn't know when he would have time for me. He was going to be gone on weekends, etc. Needless to say, this caused a fight and out of nowhere we broke up.

 

We have had minimal contact since then, but he did say that he was going to call me when he got back so that we could discuss the situation. Since then, there has been no communication at all. I don't even know if we are still dating, I don't beleive that we are.

 

So what I'm wondering is, should I just forget about this relationship? I don't want to end up feeling like a fool, waiting around for someone that isn't interested in me. Trying to contact him right now seems a bit pointless since we are going to talk when he gets back in a few weeks, and I also have my pride! But up to the point of the breakup, I never had a doubt that things would work out in the long run. Can I get your advice on this matter? Am I a fool?

[Lover-Man]

You should drop this man. Maybe send him a post card telling him so.

I have a relationship problem that is really starting to put a strain on me, and I was wondering if I could get your opinion on the matter. About a year ago, I met a wonderful man who was transferred due to his job to my state. We spent a majority of our time together, and were very much in love. I really thought he was THE ONE. I mean, everyone says that you know it when you see it, and I knew it. Well about two months ago he was sent off overseas for a business trip, after which he would be back in his hometown, and I would move out there to live with him. He was always very reassuring that this is what he wanted and he wanted our future to be together. We have been keeping in contact through email and such, and although the long distance hasn't been fun, it's been tolerable.

 

Well about two weeks ago, he sent me a message implying that he was going to be so busy when he got back, that he didn't know when he would have time for me. He was going to be gone on weekends, etc. Needless to say, this caused a fight and out of nowhere we broke up. We have had minimal contact since then, but he did say that he was going to call me when he got back so that we could discuss the situation. Since then, there has been no communication at all. I don't even know if we are still dating, I don't beleive that we are. So what I'm wondering is, should I just forget about this relationship? I don't want to end up feeling like a fool, waiting around for someone that isn't interested in me. Trying to contact him right now seems a bit pointless since we are going to talk when he gets back in a few weeks, and I also have my pride! But up to the point of the breakup, I never had a doubt that things would work out in the long run. Can I get your advice on this matter? Am I a fool?

[Tony T]

You should have forgotten the relationship when he Emailed you and told you he didn't know if he would have time for you when he got back. Let me tell you right now, and listen up closely, if a guy cares about a lady he makes time for her. Even the busiest man in the world, who has a chief of staff who keeps a minute by minute schedule of his entire day, found time to have oral sex with Monica Lewinsky in the White House Oval Office and to see and call her on a regular basis...all this while having a wife as well.

 

I don't know what happened on this trip but it smells real bad. Maybe he got cold feet, maybe he met someone. Who knows and who cares?

 

You don't need to be a fool by chasing after someone who doesn't think he will have time for you. That is the most insulting thing a lady could ever hear from a guy. Write him off this minute.

 

I am really really sorry but you deserve someone who brightens up when he thinks about you and who can't wait to talk to you and see you and spend time with you. Didn't anyone ever explain to you what romance is all about?

 

You will find a guy who fits this criteria. You cannot remain in love with someone who does not make you feel special. How can you possibly feel special about a guy who doesn't think he will be able to fit you into his busy schedule? Your (ex)guy makes me sick. I just want to puke!!!

[Lisa]

I agree with Tony, this guy is a jerk!!! When he calls you in a few weeks, tell him YOU are busy, and don't have time to talk! Be prepared to boot this loser to the sidewalk, he deserves it.

You should have forgotten the relationship when he Emailed you and told you he didn't know if he would have time for you when he got back. Let me tell you right now, and listen up closely, if a guy cares about a lady he makes time for her. Even the busiest man in the world, who has a chief of staff who keeps a minute by minute schedule of his entire day, found time to have oral sex with Monica Lewinsky in the White House Oval Office and to see and call her on a regular basis...all this while having a wife as well.

 

I don't know what happened on this trip but it smells real bad. Maybe he got cold feet, maybe he met someone. Who knows and who cares? You don't need to be a fool by chasing after someone who doesn't think he will have time for you. That is the most insulting thing a lady could ever hear from a guy. Write him off this minute.

 

I am really really sorry but you deserve someone who brightens up when he thinks about you and who can't wait to talk to you and see you and spend time with you. Didn't anyone ever explain to you what romance is all about? You will find a guy who fits this criteria. You cannot remain in love with someone who does not make you feel special. How can you possibly feel special about a guy who doesn't think he will be able to fit you into his busy schedule? Your (ex)guy makes me sick. I just want to puke!!!