7 years is enough?

[a_man]

Hi everyone,

I've been reading threads in this forum for months, hoping to find what I need to know. Well, here is my story.

 

 

I got married at age of 25 and initially things were nice.

 

Every now and then my wife would get very angry (even in the beginning) and just at 4 months after marriage she yelled at everyone of my family for something that I still consider silly or wouldn't even think twice about.

 

Later we started living in Sydney and away from most of our family members. Though the pattern remained. At times she would be angry and would not hold her tongue about what she says which is generally aimed to be painful.

 

See the thing is that most times she is fine, and good to live with. We did things together, achieved things and so forth. But there are many triggers, once switched, she goes down that path of self raging until she made sure to hurt someone, and the only other person in the house is usually me.

 

Till we had two children.

 

I used to think that it was my fault, for perhaps not earning enough, or not doing enough at home, etc. But now as my daughter is turning 4 she tells her things that are insane to tell a 4 year old. Things like 'you are stealing my identity'. Even tells things to the little boy who is just under a year of age, if she is upset he gets to hear things that are crazy.

It is now too clear to me that this roller coaster will never end. At stage of anger, nothing is sacred. Its effecting my daughter as I see it. When she started to scream the other day, the little girl came to hide behind me, thinking that it was her fault, and was scared. I could not explain to her why mum was upset, because the reasons are too mature for her. All I saw was that she was feeling scared and guilty thinking it was something she did.

 

Further more, I often see her teaching my daughter things like not to love, or not to trust, and things of very negative nature. It will ruin the little girl's social skills.

 

This has to stop. It has been 7 years of marriage and the pattern is exactly same.

 

In order to not paint the wrong picture, I'd like to mention that most times she is fine. Smiles and laughs, and does what any one does. Except that she gets upset too easily, and there are common triggers, and at times she talks herself into being upset to angry and then into rage and screaming arguing.

 

I care not about my personal feelings any more. I have lived a long and happy enough life. I need to rescue my children from this, though do not know how to go about this.

If I move for divorce, custody generally goes to the mother.

 

Where can I go and what should I do.

If I tell her (which I did many times) to seek help, that gets translated as criticism or attack and off she goes again. She thinks nothing is wrong with her attitude, and pointing at it is insult which must be returned.

 

Can any one tell me if there is some organization that I can contact in Sydney. Or any thing I can do.

 

Thanks all..