Carmen12 Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Not sure if this is the right forum to post this but here goes. Don't knowwhat's wrong with me but I'm so in love it's overwhelming me. It's the realdeal too because he feels the same way. All I have to do is think about what agood, honest, hard-working man he is and my heart flips. His sweetness,kindness, and gentleness are actually making this tough, cynical New Yorker akinder, gentler, and sweeter person too. His personality is the epitome of theclassic character Mr. Deeds, in Mr. Deeds Goes to Town. Honest,unsophisticated, simple, musical too, (like the character), caring,considerate, affection, extremely compassionate, and contrary to the calmfront, very, very, deep. The most beautiful thing about him is how decent heis. I thought that kind of decency was dead in this day and age. I'm so crazyabout him but can't understand why the very thought of how beautiful a personhe is brings me to tears. I'm really trying to come to grips with thissituation. I've had 2 serious relationships, one with a guy who used andemotionally abused me, and another with a cold fish married to his work (aphysician) who wanted eye candy and offered me an easy life in return (when Irealized this I turned his proposal down), and lots of little meaninglessrelationships along the way. My emotionalism is starting to take a toll on therelationship. I’m almost to the point of being immobilized and every easy andordinary thing in my life is becoming difficult to do. I really need to lightenup but can’t seem to get control of my emotions. I know it’s too much to askfor an answer or a solution since no one here really knows me but has anyoneelse gone through something like this and if so how on earth did you deal with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Do your past relationships still haunt you? It sounds like you are at a disbelief that this person is as good as he is showing. I'm reading a lot of fear in your words, almost like you're waiting for the bottom to fall out. Give anyone you date a clean slate and you'll give things the best chance to work out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Carmen12 Posted June 7, 2012 Author Share Posted June 7, 2012 Yes, that's exactly it. You know the old saying, if it's too good to be true.... Sorry for the choppy paragraph. I wrote it first in a Word doc and then pasted it here. Didn't realize it would show up like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Well realize that there are good people out there and give them a fair slate. It is our expectations that hurt us the most so try not to raise the bar too high for him. Just take it as it comes and enjoy your time together. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 So these are tears of joy, yes? If so that's a great feeling. I would just caution you though to realize that this kind of immense feeling is in great part an intoxication with a belief and a projection of what you think him to be--I won't go so far as to demean it and call it an obsession--but you should realize that some of what you think you love is your perception of him and what you believe him to be and the reality is that he has complexities like everyone else you probably haven't had to face together yet which may cause you to feel otherwise. If something like that happens there is a feeling of "self-betrayal" that hurts a lot. I know because I have experienced it and it makes one angry with one's self on top of the disappointment or anger with the other person. Reality sets in after you've been together for quite a while and face tests and pressures together. This is not to say that this guy isn't all what you think or more, but for your own sake it is wise to hold a little in reserve so that you don't set yourself up for a crushing heartbreak if he throws you some hard curves. Best wishes for your happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
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