NopeNah Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Just found out today that my 16yo daughter is cutting(forearm area) and having thoughts of suicide. She's been in therapy for two weeks now. I have no clue how to handle this and its completly tearing me apart. I feel so helpless. I'm also a single father and have had full custody since the age of 7...this is horrible! Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Is she on meds? Has the therapist given a diagnosis? Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Just found out today that my 16yo daughter is cutting(forearm area) and having thoughts of suicide. She's been in therapy for two weeks now. I have no clue how to handle this and its completly tearing me apart. I feel so helpless. I'm also a single father and have had full custody since the age of 7...this is horrible! OP, this is a difficult place to be in as a parent. my own 14 year old has aspger's syndrome, and has also been diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder. She sees a psychologist, and is on an antidepressant ( Elavil). While she's done a few acts of self harming, she has been able to stop. her psychologist has told me that self harm can be a way for a teen to relieve psychological pain, to a point where it can become an addictive behavior. The teen often feels very isolated and alone, like no one understands. The physical pain becomes a distraction from the mental pain. The suicidal ideation is more troubling...i know how scary it can be for a parent to hear this. it's good she's getting therapy, but i would recommend a visit to her regular doctor as well. While an antidepressant may not be right for everyone, they can be helpful for some, especially when combined with talk therapy or other forms of therapy. I'd also recommend getting some support for yourself...it can be so helpful. best of luck to you and your daughter... Link to post Share on other sites
Author NopeNah Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 Thanks for the comments/advice..i appreciate it! To add insult to injury...my gf decided to make fun of me and my daughter for this situation...we are now completely over! Stupidity at its finest...classy too! Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Thanks for the comments/advice..i appreciate it! To add insult to injury...my gf decided to make fun of me and my daughter for this situation...we are now completely over! Stupidity at its finest...classy too! I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. Good on you for dumping someone that would be so insensitive and cruel as to mock this serious and truly upsetting situation. How is your daughter's relationship to her mother? How was your relationship with your daughter prior to the cutting? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 One of the most important things is whether or not she admits having a problem and is asking for help. Or is she still seeing external things to "blame" for her feelings and actions. This makes all the difference because if she hasn't come to a realization that SHE is part of the problem--amplifying her own frustrations, reinforcing her negativity with impulsive anger et al--trying to put her into therapy can be resented making her resistant and dismissive of the only thing there to help. I don't have an answer for the psychology if that is the case. I can only guess that a soft touch be used and some genuine love shown in leading her to accept that something inside her is leading her to self destruction and it is not everyone else's fault. It's a tricky thing with some kids--even if some acquiesce to treatment and get better, there can still be that youth authority dynamic where they don't want to admit that their parent was right. That kind of thing often leads to rebellious acts of abstaining from medication and thus relapses into cutting and negativity. The bottom line though of my input is that some way and some how she is the one who must take charge of getting righted. She is so young I wouldn't use the word "recover" because at that age there is nothing to "recover to" except adolescence. So the mind set needs to be focused on forging a better future rather than recovering to a norm which has never existed. This may take professional help specially tailored to the young teen. There are people and facilities that treat this demographic. Sincere best wishes in facing this tough time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
irin Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 oh thats terrible. i was very suicidal and used to cut myself when i was teenager , the best advise i can give you, is to keep an eye on here, and try to get here involved in stuff, like take her out places, not always social settings, i found going to the park helpful, my worst enemy was being in my room alone for hours, and thinking my head when i was around people i couldnt do anything or let my demons take over my head. taking her mind of things would be great. just tell her that one day the emotions and thoughts will go away, that she can be happy one day. the thing that im most grateful for is failing to committing suicide. im so glad, i hope she gets better, hugs to you both :( Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 has your daughter ever been diagnosed with any sort of depressive disorder? in some kids who self harm, the depressive disorder ( believed to be caused by an issue with serration levels in the brain) can cause physical pain...self harm alleviates the depressive state by causing the release of dopamine and endorphins in the brain.( this is not always the case, but in some situations, it's a factor)...self harm it can also be distraction and can allow a person some sense of control over themseves when they feel they have none...some say it's a way of expressing externally the emotional pain they feel inside it sounds like you are doing your very best to be there for your daughter. I know it's hard and you are probably really scared for her right now. It can also be very frustrating for you...i know there's times when i wish my daughter would just make herself snap out of it ( even though in know she can't, and it's 100 times harder on her than me)... the most important thing you can do for her is to get her the help she needs ( you've done that), and to let her know you're on her side and there for her...( you've done that too...getting rid of your girlfriend who made fun of her shows that for sure)... something that sometimes helps my daughter ( and i know this sounds corny) when she's at her lowest is to just let her sit on my lap, my arms around her, and she cries while i rock her. maybe, on some level, it brings her back to the time when she was little and things were simpler...maybe it shows her that i'll always love and accept her as my child...all i know is that it relaxes her ( and me too)...she'll fall asleep, and whe she wakes up, sometimes she'll even smile Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 haven't heard anything from you in a while...how are things going? Link to post Share on other sites
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