koala bear Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 My husband has been away for about two months we are trying to move and he is working where we are moving to.We have three kids and are very young. We are middle school sweethearts.We have been with other peolple before getting together. We have been married for almost 6 years. Anyway, I was wondering if you thought that it was wrong to Think about other men. Not while having sex or anything. Just wondering what it would be like.You know look at someone and say I wonder how good it would be. Is this cheating??? Should I tell my husband? Is this just happening to me because I'm lonely? Because even when my husband comes home we have no time because the kids want to be with there dad.And there is noone to watch the kids. Help,any advise would be helpful. I LOVE MY HUSBAND and I'm sure I would never sleep with anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
DazednConfused Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Hello Koala, Speaking for the male half of our race...... if i had to second guess or 'fess up every time I saw a woman and thought..."I wonder what it would be like to get me somathat...." I think there would be metered turnstiles in divorce court. It is perfectly normal and acceptable to fantasize, just don't take it even one inch further than that. Attraction is the first step and it can quickly escalate from there. My fantasies usually include the unnattainable... i.e. hollywood celeb types that I will NEVER meet, lol. Fantasize away though, enjoy, get yourself all worked up and then jump the husband.... we husbands love that! Take Care! Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 It's perfectly natural -- EVEN when you are having sex. Your husband has been gone for two months, so you are probably feeling quite randy just about now. So it's not surprising that you look at other men and think "hmmmm, some of that would be good right about now." Don't worry yourself over this. Jut when you see your husband next, turn him everyway but loose. And there's no need to tell him about this. He's probably doing the same thing. You aren't cheating and you aren't doing anything wrong. You're just being a healthy woman. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Ditto what the others said. Next time he is there you must make time for the two of you. It's important for your mental and physical health. You need to have some "sack time" without fear of kids interrupting or anything. Find someone to watch the kids for a couple of hours and go rent a motel room! It's important to the health of your marriage and that is important to your individual health and your kids too. Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 If there comes a time when a man wants to control my thoughts....I will freak out! Your thoughts are YOUR THOUGHTS. It is not cheating unless you act upon it. Heck, I even think about exs, not in a sexual way, but I'm sure my husband wouldn't like it anyway. Don't worry hon, your fine and there is nothing wrong with thinking of men Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 I'll second HokeyReligions' advice. Mommy and daddy MUST find time to stop being mommy and daddy, just for a while, and BURN EACH OTHER DOWN! Otherwise, you become just mommy and daddy. You loose, and the kids will never know that mommies and daddies are also hot lovers. Link to post Share on other sites
msrealdoll Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 Koala, I agree with everyone here. It's perfectly normal, especially in the circumstances you describe. Try to get some private time with your husband soon. As for telling him-don't. Even though he probably engages in the same sort of fantasies, don't provoke the green monster by telling him something like that. I'm all for complete honesty, but my fantasies are all my own. And I hope his stay that way, too. Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 seems like I am the only person in the world that doesn't think about others when I am with someone...me am super freak! and I won't change that aspect about me cuz I love it! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts