Why are females so mean to ugly males?

[danmorisson]

It's not my fault I was born with a head deformity. So why do I have to endure all these ghastly comments from them? Literally roughly 50 young adult females. And why do some males have to kick my face in? I'm 32 years old. When will life get better? I feel so alone, all these mean people are popular and well liked by everyone really.

 

So don't troll me. The net is my escape.

[Ross MwcFan]

Not all females are mean to ugly males, not all females are mean, there are nice ones out there.

 

The females that are mean to ugly males, and I've been on the recieving end of them a lot of times myself (not that I'm saying I'm ugly), are just bitches.

Edited June 8, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[danmorisson]

Yeah but I see others stepping and having no problems, talking to friends and having fun etc, but I get nothing but nasty comments/stares and my face kicked in.

 

Just would like the same privileges as them. I don't have that long left, I'm 32, and I want a life.

 

Also I have a feeling when you die that's it.

Edited June 8, 2012 by danmorisson

[DuchessKaye]

I am nice to nice people and I am mean to mean people.

I can be nice to ugly people and I can be mean to beautiful people.

The way they look is just irrelevant to me.

[AlexDP]

I am nice to nice people and I am mean to mean people.

I can be nice to ugly people and I can be mean to beautiful people.

The way they look is just irrelevant to me.

 

You lie. You know you do.

[Anela]

Why are a certain amount of men mean to women that they deem ugly?

 

It goes both ways, and not all women are mean.

[Anela]

You lie. You know you do.

 

You project. You know you do.

[carhill]

IME, the mean ones are far outnumbered by the invisible brigade, meaning people who simply don't acknowledge one's humanity at all.

 

Mean people are generally global in such behaviors, so your head deformity could be someone else's missing limb, or blindness, or paraplegia. It's not about the deformed person (or any other person, for that matter), it's about the psychology of the mean person. Think about it...would you want to live in that space for a day? Not me, man, no thanks.

[FitChick]

Until he posts a photo, I'll believe the OP's 'head deformity' is inside his head.

[CopingGal]

danmorrison,

 

My gosh, I'm so very sorry that this has happened to you. I think it's terrible. I was teased on a daily basis growing up. Some people think I am pretty. But others think I am unattractive. I have had things thrown at me, people laughing so hard it's unbelievable, and have been humiliated throughout my life at school and a few times in public.

 

The teasing was so bad I left my first college. I have struggled emotionally and financially since then. I do not think I'm unattractive and I know I have a beautiful smile. But others do not agree and they want everyone to know that they don't agree. School was a nightmare for me, and it actually got worse when I went to college.

 

I thought when I became an adult, the teasing would stop, but that did not happen. There are certain environments that I will not live in because certain groups of people tend to tease me.

 

If you have money, you should take some karate lessons or other marshal arts lessons. It will build up your self esteem. You will feel that you can defend yourself better, and you will be able to defend yourself better. I wish I could take some marshal arts lessons if for nothing else to help me build up my confidence.

 

I am very, very tall. I am heavy. I have a large overbite. I had braces, but my ortho was a quack and did not move my teeth back properly. I can't blend in because of my size. One guy took a look at me, and fell to the floor calling his friend's name out. People have called me the most horrific names when I was simply minding my business. One time at college, one of the guys who used to tease me was in my way. I looked down and meekly said, "excuse me." He started to scream, ran, and then started doing hand motions as if he was wiping his whole body down. This was in the college lunch room. I just ran. I have had so many horrible experiences.

 

For some reason, lately, they have been coming back to me in my head.

 

The thing is, I was treated this way in school, but when I went into the city, men were always asking for my number and falling over themselves to talk to me. I even was given modeling business cards when I was thinner. Then I would go back to school the next day and be teased again. This was the cycle I lived with growing up.

 

I was raised to let people walk all over me. I was actually raised that way in my house and I've struggled with self-esteem my whole life.

 

Remember this, just because some people call you ugly does not mean you are. I never refer to myself as that because different people have different tastes.

 

You can PM me if you want to. We can share war stories.

 

God Bless

[CopingGal]

I'm 32 years old. When will life get better? I feel so alone, all these mean people are popular and well liked by everyone really.

 

So don't troll me. The net is my escape.

 

danmorrison, I ask myself that too. I've seen mean people with so many friends and I just don't understand it. I know this girl who was a self-professed blabber mouth and she advertised it. She was always telling people's business. Yet, she had so many friends. I simply just don't get it. I simply just don't get it.

[OhHey]

I get the feeling that this is some mocking attempt.....

[Anela]

I get the feeling that this is some mocking attempt.....

 

I used to think so, but now I'm not so sure. Although I don't remember him mentioning a head deformity before. If he's serious, then I'm really sorry to hear it.

 

CopingGal, I've had experiences like that, too, although I'm not tall, and I wasn't overweight. My mother let me drop out of school when I finally told her what was going on, and that I was feeling suicidal (I had just turned fifteen); I had been dealing with BS for a long while, but she thought I was handling it, partially because I didn't talk about it with anyone. I did my best to get through it.. anyway, it damaged me, and it still affects me to this day. A few years ago, I had the memories hit me again, when I stupidly joined a group for the school on FB. I saw those pictures in which these kids looked so happy, and I was so miserable (to put it mildly). I was very depressed, and I felt a lot of anger at what was taken away from me, and that they didn't even remember who I was (they had had a life-altering effect on me, but carried on with their normal lives, self-esteem intact). I had good things happen for me, such as moving to California, being homeschooled and seeing a teacher once per week - we were able to travel with visitors and do homework in motel rooms - but no social life to speak of. Even now, I barely have a social life, and I dropped out twenty-two years ago.

 

I never did trust that college would be any better. People kept telling me that it would be. And I had the same things happen to me: not modelling offers, but people telling me that I was pretty, only to be ridiculed again by someone else. I didn't trust anyone that told me I was pretty, and now I'm at the point where I'm losing whatever looks I had, and PISSED that I let those pipsqueaks hurt me so badly - affect me so much that I lost most of my confidence - but what can you do when it's happening day in and day out? I still have trouble trusting, and now that my sister has turned on me, in deference to her creep of a fiance (who keeps putting off the wedding). Just... I received a lovely little head injury last week in a fight, that thankfully is healing, so I've been walking around looking like Frankenstein, but nobody has been mean to me when I've been out-and-about.

[udolipixie]

Gals are most likely mean to ugly guys because some find it amusing or entertaining to be mean to those they perceive as ugly, some value a guy's worth based on his looks, and some treat a guy based on how he looks.

 

No different than how some guys are mean to gals about their youth/beauty with remarks like 'whale', 'bloated tick', 'aged milk', 'past prime', and 'used up'. Or how some guys are dismissive of gals they find unattractive yet pander to gals they find attractive. Or how some guys when they say gal mean attractive thing not human being.

 

I doubt your life will get better in the sense of less ghastly comments. I don't doubt your life will get better in the sense of less getting your face kicked in via self-defense. In what way do you wish for you life to get better?

 

Off note: Bit curious as to why despite some guys kicking your face in your thread title is about only females being mean to ugly guys.

[carhill]

A female friend's son is a 28 yo cerebral palsy sufferer. I've seen how people, including women, treat him. He's a smart guy, just talks funny and looks goofy when he walks. Most people stop right there. It's not really 'convenient' to get to know him, or at worst, treat him like a human being, so they don't. Again, it's not about him, but he is a great canary regarding the community of humans. I really didn't begin to see this nuance until caring for a mentally ill person and watching how people reacted to her. Eye opener, that was.

[CopingGal]

I used to think so, but now I'm not so sure. Although I don't remember him mentioning a head deformity before. If he's serious, then I'm really sorry to hear it.

 

CopingGal, I've had experiences like that, too, although I'm not tall, and I wasn't overweight. My mother let me drop out of school when I finally told her what was going on, and that I was feeling suicidal (I had just turned fifteen); I had been dealing with BS for a long while, but she thought I was handling it, partially because I didn't talk about it with anyone. I did my best to get through it.. anyway, it damaged me, and it still affects me to this day. A few years ago, I had the memories hit me again, when I stupidly joined a group for the school on FB. I saw those pictures in which these kids looked so happy, and I was so miserable (to put it mildly). I was very depressed, and I felt a lot of anger at what was taken away from me, and that they didn't even remember who I was (they had had a life-altering effect on me, but carried on with their normal lives, self-esteem intact). I had good things happen for me, such as moving to California, being homeschooled and seeing a teacher once per week - we were able to travel with visitors and do homework in motel rooms - but no social life to speak of. Even now, I barely have a social life, and I dropped out twenty-two years ago.

 

I never did trust that college would be any better. People kept telling me that it would be. And I had the same things happen to me: not modelling offers, but people telling me that I was pretty, only to be ridiculed again by someone else. I didn't trust anyone that told me I was pretty, and now I'm at the point where I'm losing whatever looks I had, and PISSED that I let those pipsqueaks hurt me so badly - affect me so much that I lost most of my confidence - but what can you do when it's happening day in and day out? I still have trouble trusting, and now that my sister has turned on me, in deference to her creep of a fiance (who keeps putting off the wedding). Just... I received a lovely little head injury last week in a fight, that thankfully is healing, so I've been walking around looking like Frankenstein, but nobody has been mean to me when I've been out-and-about.

 

 

Anela, I'm so sorry that that happened to you. I'm so sorry. And, I'm sorry you got injured. Other colleges I went to were better. As I said, the first one was the worse. The other ones were much, much better. I'm Black and most people...almost all people who have been cruel to me were of my race. The other colleges I went to have very few Black people in them. There were very few incidences. But at the first college....I felt so alone and so helpless. In my life when people have picked on me, it's always a group of people vs. me. So scary and unfair.

 

People seem to have different tastes. If you add up all the people I have walked past, sat next to on buses and trains, worked with, talked to, and those I have knowned in my life and compare them with the people who were terrible to me, the people who were terrible to me is a very small number...but the things they did were so hurtful they stick out.

 

People do their mess day in an day out and then forget. They just forget. They forget what they do and who they did it to because it does not affect them. But the target person remembers forever. Sometimes this would gets me so down, but I try to remember how lucky I am.

 

I knew a woman who was attractive. She said that people made fun of her. She had so much pain in her voice when she said that. It's shocking how mean people can be. But I'm glad that people here support each other.

 

I honestly don't know why looks mean so much to so many people....even on just a level as a friend. I could care less what people look like. I never use that as a criteria when I decide whether or not I should be their friend.

 

As far as relationships go...I have dated several man that people would find very unattractive, but there was something about them that made them seem sexy to me...their personality, or the way they saw things...etc.

 

My last boyfriend was gorgeous...goregous. He was athletic. He was Caucasian and had blonde hair and blue-eyes. Blonde hair and blue-eyes don't impress me though, but many Caucasians seem to go ga-ga over that. Still, I thought he was very good looking. He was sexy, charming, had charisma and a nice smile...and he turned out the be the most disgusting son of a B that I've ever laid eyes on. He was a total monster.

[Feelin Frisky]

Females can be cruel and rude even if you're not ugly. If they do it in the presence of their friends it can be some kind of power trip with them. But if a woman is like that alone and you haven't done anything to deserve the harshness, you have to put it on her that she has an ugly dimension to her character. I know it's hard to sort all that out in an instant but it's the way out of feeling bad about some rejection or nasty remark intended to hurt. It's really sad that human beings of both genders can grow to adulthood and be so socially toxic.

[CopingGal]

I think this thread is good. It can be used to support danmorisson, who created the thread, and others who have gone through or are going through similar things.

[Coffee20]

I am not mean to "ugly" males, I am only mean to ugly people. Physical appearance isn't that important to me, I always want to get know the man first. If they have nice behavior and good moral values then I find them even attractive.

And to be "ugly", I think noone is really ugly, everyone has something beautiful like eyes or hair or anything else.

[CopingGal]

I am not mean to "ugly" males, I am only mean to ugly people. Physical appearance isn't that important to me, I always want to get know the man first. If they have nice behavior and good moral values then I find them even attractive.

And to be "ugly", I think noone is really ugly, everyone has something beautiful like eyes or hair or anything else.

 

 

I totally agree that everyone has something beautiful about them. I don't use the word ugly when talking about physical appearance...not even when I talk about animals. I wish the word would be removed from society's vocabulary. It is a mean and hurtful word because when people use that word, many times it's used to hurt others.

[ladyabstrused]

It truly saddens me to read about such horrible experiences by CopingGal, Anela and danmorisson. I'm sorry you guys had to meet such heartless people. Though I've never really experienced such people (I count myself real lucky now after reading this thread), I feel really bad.

 

I've read many stories about how people get bullied / taunted / disturbed for the way they are and for some, they take their lives when they feel like they couldn't take it anymore. It's tragic to see that people lose their loved ones because people can't leave them alone or accept them the way they are.

 

I, too, believe that everyone is beautiful in their own way. It doesn't have to be based on looks or physical appearance.

 

Hope that things will look up for you danmorisson, sooner or later. But please keep strong and don't bother about them who disturb you.

[danmorisson]

Yeah well the reason I'm depressed is because I get bullied alot out there. I'm used to the nasty comments/stares/whatever. Never use to get bullied, bullied though. Always someone out there looking to give me a beating with his mates around.

 

Also find it depressing when celebrities ignore me. I mean, I've never had any female pals before so any reply from them would make me feel better. I don't want people to focus on what I look like because that just gets me down. I like the internet because you're anonymous, but people who ignore me brings me back to ugly reality and it's depressing.

[danmorisson]

Off to watch football now. It's good that international football's back, like I say it's all escapism for me.

[CopingGal]

Danmorrison,

 

Most people who pick on other people pick on them in groups. Alone, they usually keep their friggin mouths shut! It just shows you how much of a coward they are.

 

If the same people are beating you, I suggest you look into getting a restraining order. Document. If you have wounds, take pictures of them. Take notes when you get home. Keep a journal. Even put a small tape recorder on you and record these people. Gather evidence.

 

 

If you have the money, I really encourage you to get marshal arts lessons. If you feel weird about going to a class, look into getting private lessons. Also, try to eat well. Try to do things that make you feel good about yourself. And remember, that there are people who appreciate you. I speak the truth because I am one of them.

[FitChick]

Also find it depressing when celebrities ignore me. I've never had any female pals before so any reply from them would make me feel better.

 

It's not their job to make you feel better. Celebrities ignore everyone because they don't want to encourage stalkers.