Insight about cheater

[Joe]

I'm probably going to get ripped apart for this but I have been reading posts for the last week and a lot has to do about cheaters. Most were very vague and the idea I got was once a cheater always a cheater. This may or may not be true. I think there has to be more insight by people posting about cheaters. Like why do you think they cheated. There are several different types of cheaters in my mind. Yes that person broke the commitment and trust but background information needs to be given so people here reading posts can really understand the situation and address it, not I was cheated on that's it. Don't get me wrong no one deserves to be cheated on but I truly don't feel that if you have been cheated on that's it forever, that person won't change. My grandparent's are living proof. My granfather cheated on my grandma in their marriage and he never did it again and they were happily married for over 50 years. Yes my grandma was very angry and hurt but they both truly loved each other and she gave him another chance. It all depends what kind of cheater your dealing with. Someone who does it to hurt or get back, a user, sex addict,etc. I've dealt with it to. My ex gf was a sex addict and cheated on me not to hurt me but she gave into these urges over commitment and trust, but she is young, 7 years youger. Though we are no longer together, I still believe there's a slight chance for us down the road but she has to change. Besides the cheating I loved everything about her she was good person but a cheater, unfortunately.

 

Joe

[Taressa]

I come close to agreeing, Joe, but I think I would throw in a statement about their response to their actions. If they recognize the wrongness and if they recognize the hurt they've caused and are truly repentant of the action, I join you in believing there is hope.

 

As to the reasoning behind the cheating, I believe we can all justify our actions to reason ourselves into acting on selfish impulses. Yes, as lovers we can be cruel and selfish, driving the other person away. However, their choice to sleep with someone else is strictly their choice and, therefore, is a measure of their character and integrity.

 

I'm afraid I've come across judgemental but truth is I've failed the character test before. I found forgiveness and a stronger love than I had known before - - that makes me determined to not fail again.