After a month of break up, trying to get her back in my life.

[Jowai32]

Hi everyone, so my situation is I've been broken up with my ex girl friend about a month ago, and managed NC since I agreed the break up, and tell her to take care. This is the original post if you want to know more details about it.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/327705-how-do-i-get-my-ex-back-after-breaking-her-heart

 

It's been a month, I took my time to recover and thought about the relationship we had. I'm feeling a lot better right now. Been working out lately, got a new job, met some new people and trying to improve myself as much as I can through out the month. I don't feel depressed or desperate anymore. My head is clear and I'm thinking to start communicating with her. See what she's been up to or maybe even ask her out for lunch or coffee if it goes well.

 

So my question is how to start a conversation with her without sounding too heavy or chessy? And how long do I wait to ask her out for coffee? Thanks everyone.

[hayley1357]

Hiya,

 

Let me just ask why you are wanting to get back in contact i assume as you want to reconcile?

 

Ask yourself this, are you deffinately ready for that? Why do you think you will work out now? and are you prepared for rejection?

 

If all of these answers lead to a positive and understandable outcome then i feel there is no reason not to contact. You MUST though understand that just because you want to reconcile does not mean your ex will and although she may not ignore and be game for your suggestions for a meet, she may be doing this out of the fact she is a good person rather than because she wants to reconcile. If i could give you any advice that should stick it is EXPECT NOTHING.

 

As for making the contact, usually ive found that although it is a bigger step than just dropping a text, a call means more and gives way for a larger more indepth conversation. I also think its best to start of with a general conversation rather than a full on meet. Personally, if i was to contact or be contacted by my ex i would prefer a call initiating a chat and then bring up a meet toward the end of the convo expressing there is no pressure.

 

Sorry if this was no help just my advice!

 

hope it all goes well

[Jowai32]

Hi Hayley,

 

Yes, reconcile is what I want. I know what you mean and I already have a mind set of getting her back is just a bonus for me. I can live or live without her and ready for the rejection.

 

Calling might not be the best thing to do, cause she doesn't like talking on the phone even when we were together, we only talked on the phone once and only last a min. So texting is what I'm going for, I'm gonna talk to her straight up that it's been a while since we talked, how are you doing...... no head game or mind game,keep it light, short and fun and go from there.

 

I just don't know if its better to bring up lunch on the "first convo" or should i just have a casual chat, end it and another time ask her to lunch? cause she might see it as a date and i'll scare her off.

 

Thanks.