funnykitty28 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Does anyone else get anxiety, and stomach aches and just feel sick all the time? I had a rough day with the kids, I was so mad that this will be my whole day I don't get a break when my husband comes home anymore. It's all me. And I was angry taking it out on my oldest. I feel like such a bad mom. I have to be a parent and grieve the loss of my husband as well. It's just not fair. I thought I never had to do this again, I thought those days of dating and these feelings were over that I found the man for me. I hate him for doing this to me, I hate the fact that I have had two kids i'm 28 years old, what 28 year man is going to understand stretch marks on your stomach? It just sucks!! Why he would do this to me? Why I have to spend nights alone in a house with two kids? I know eventually it will get better, like all break ups in high school did. But this is so much harder cause I still have to deal with him! And to stop it off I work with him! Not directly with him, but I see him in the halls sometimes. Thankfully I am still on maternity leave. But all these things give me anxiety. Dinner time, bath time, bed time,.......everything gives me anxiety! Link to post Share on other sites
hinatticus Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 I understand your pain. But rather than thinking its hard being with two kids, be grateful of it. Some people can't have kids. I'm 33 and my gf left me 3 and a months ago. I'm a single father! That still blows my mind! When my ex has to work late I agree to pick him up because I want to see him. I definitely know its hard raising children especially by yourself. I see my son more than my ex does. I understand how hard it is, changing diapers, feeding, playing, brushing teeth, bathing, handling temper tantrums, shopping by yourself with him while he's running around! BUT I am so grateful that I have a child! Be strong for you and your kids. You asked what 28 year old guy would understand your stretch marks, one that has kids. I actually think my ex's stretch marks are cute. Maybe because I helped cause them. When my ex got pregnant I couldn't believe how big her belly got. Amazing that a human fit in there. Anyway, be good to your kids and stay positive! Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 Does anyone else get anxiety, and stomach aches and just feel sick all the time? I had a rough day with the kids, I was so mad that this will be my whole day I don't get a break when my husband comes home anymore. It's all me. And I was angry taking it out on my oldest. I feel like such a bad mom. I have to be a parent and grieve the loss of my husband as well. It's just not fair. I thought I never had to do this again, I thought those days of dating and these feelings were over that I found the man for me. I hate him for doing this to me, I hate the fact that I have had two kids i'm 28 years old, what 28 year man is going to understand stretch marks on your stomach? It just sucks!! Why he would do this to me? Why I have to spend nights alone in a house with two kids? I know eventually it will get better, like all break ups in high school did. But this is so much harder cause I still have to deal with him! And to stop it off I work with him! Not directly with him, but I see him in the halls sometimes. Thankfully I am still on maternity leave. But all these things give me anxiety. Dinner time, bath time, bed time,.......everything gives me anxiety! Try doing deep breathing and yoga. This will help relax your body and mind, relieve you of emotional stress (or at least help you with it). Anxiety SUCKS and it can take over, mimick so many different illnesses/symptoms (headaches, upset stomach, dizzy and general malaise).. Writing helps too, getting thoughts and feelings down on paper (or computer). Hot bath before bed helps too. Sorry that you're going through this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Furious Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 Do you get out, can you have a family member watch the kids for a few hours mid week, just to give youself some me time. Try to make plans for dinner or a movie, or even a workout class with a girlfriend. When I discovered my husbands affair, I signed up for beginners karate. I was in a class with the huge men and then there was little me, but let me tell you by the end of that 3 month session they were all scared of me. You are young and stronger than you think. Wipe those tears and bring out the tiger in you. Fake it till you make it. I swear the longer you do this you are no longer faking it, you become the real thing. ((((hugs)))) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author funnykitty28 Posted June 9, 2012 Author Share Posted June 9, 2012 Thank you everyone, you kind words made me have some hope that this will get better in time. I'm lucky in the sense that I have family willing to help and even my husband ( should u say ex now) will take the kids whenever I want. I thought I was the luckiest girl engaged at 21 married at 22,traveled the world , two kids by 27, and now divorce by 30! Not what I wanted out of life and the thought of starting over just bares on me. Thanks again everyone, writing it to people who understand my pain is helping Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 Not what I wanted out of life and the thought of starting over just bares on me. I so feel your pain. ((hugs)) Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 I have suffered from and been medicated for anxiety for around 15 years. My anxiety took a turn for the worse once the marital crisis occurred over 3.5 years ago. Early in the crisis - I was so amped up I started to experience uncontrollable shaking (way beyond my normal tremors), and a mind with racing thoughts that would not stop. Anxiety can get worse and worse if you don't get some treatment. Anxiety seems to be fairly common in people with a marital crisis. Your body just naturally responds to the fears - which are really just in your mind. I love what the earlier poster said about the stretch marks! What a wonderful man! I'm working very hard to get in the habit of immediately flipping the negatives that run thru mind into positives, as the example I just sited. Here's an easy one for you...would you trade your stretchmarks for your child(s)? I already know the answer. Your marks are historical proof of your unique ability to reproduce! You must embrace them. You are still very young. You have time for another marriage and family if you wish one. Speak kindly about yourself - as how you "talk" about you is what you project. When your description of your wonderful qualities and "history" are stated in a positive fashion, you will exude confidence, and be a very attractive female. The posters have great suggestions for the anxiety - but, too, consider seeing a professional about it as well. It feels so good when a doctor or therapist can find a solution to give you some relief (even if it is medication for awhile). Time helps. But time takes time. Hope this helps, Yas Link to post Share on other sites
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