Wesker Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 And I still feel like I've made very little progress as far as moving on goes. If you're not familiar with my story; basically I was with someone for over 7 years, until she "out of the blue' dumped me a year ago. She gave me the typical excuses such as "feeling stuck", "you didn't do anything wrong", "there's no one else", "haven't been happy for over a year", etc.. Of course it always was about this other knob at work she was eyeing up this whole time, and ended up marrying him a mere 6 months later. I have done a ton of thinking this past year. I've accepted my flaws, and mistakes in the relationship. If I could go back, I would have done things different. I've tried working on my flaws too during the past year too. I think the thing that really is getting to me is that since she dumped me, I've had 0 dates. Miniscule interests from women. Nothing bright on the horizon. I go out with my buddies, and I get zero looks, or complete rejection. OLD has been a complete joke, and waste of $$$. What's funny is that while I was with my now ex, I was getting looks. Women would approach me. Seemed like opportunities were everywhere. (Naturally I declined all of that because I'm not a cheater). Other crap has happened to me too this past year, which didn't help. Then seeing my ex at work sometimes, gloating about her idiot husband, and fancy house, fancy car, and all that is nice kick in the nads too. I just feel like I've been trapped in this endless cycle of anger-depression-and maybe little happiness. Right now it seems more anger, and depression. I get up each morning and ask myself, why? It's not like I haven't tried anything. I work out more, and in decent shape. I've tried new things, and hobbies. Took vacations. But they all just seem like a quick high that wears off after awhile. I hope my rant hasn't been too long to read. Link to post Share on other sites
jquest1280 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 7 years is a long time to be with someone and lose them; I was with my ex for 10 months and it took me 4 years to get over him. So don't fret about your 1 year recovery. Your suffering will end eventually; keep doing the right things that you do, it is an uphill battle, so just keep plodding forward. It may seem like nothing is working, but if you observe closely, you'll note small improvements. It won't get better overnight, but the small improvements add up until the one fine day you can say you are over her. Seeing her doesn't help. Can't you change jobs? Or just avoid her; leave the room if you must, so you don't hear her go on and on. Of course, you feel low, so it's no surprise to hear you say you get zero interest from other women. You're missing that spark, that confidence, that would draw women to you. But you'll get it back. It's still the same you in there, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Razzle Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 It'll take time as everyone says I had a breakup 2 years ago and I'm still getting through it. The best advice I can give someone is distance yourself from that past it happened so what there's no point dwelling on it move forward erase every trace of her find a new job. Think of all the things you wanted to do when you were young and do them its not the end of the world. Opportunities come at the most unexpected times, if you keep looking for a relationship its not going to happen, network with some female friends go from there. I've noticed when I go out with my female friends girls are more warm to talk than where your surrounded by guys. Link to post Share on other sites
nanbullen Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 Have you considered going to doctor and maybe trying an antidepressant? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wesker Posted June 9, 2012 Author Share Posted June 9, 2012 Seeing her doesn't help. Can't you change jobs? Or just avoid her; leave the room if you must, so you don't hear her go on and on. Unfortunately, the job market sucks by me. We do work in different areas, and departments, so it's not like I see her everyday. But the good ole law of averages, there's always that occasional walk by. Link to post Share on other sites
broken-and-lost Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 (edited) I wouldn't beat yourself up too much m8 it's been 18 months out of a 3 year relationship for me and i'm not over it at all. I ran into her and her new guy in the cinema was sat 6 seats away and had to watch them cuddling up, the worse two hours of my life i thought i was healing up fine,,,, there is no time limit on this stuff really i've done all the stuff they tell you to do too and it's just quick fixes you'll heal when you heal. as for meeting other guys it's one of those things really when your like this girls seem to smell it a mile away even when you think your not doing anything when you don't have a care in the world it attracts people Edited June 9, 2012 by broken-and-lost Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 Reading this thread, makes me realize, I'm not alone in still hurting. It's been 7 months after an 8 year relationship and I'm nowhere near over her, even though she totally knifed me when ending it. Time I guess....everyone heals differently, she jumped straight into a rel with my friend. She was the most sensitive, loyal, devoted person i'd ever met....blindsided I was...do we ever really know someone? Link to post Share on other sites
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