vanes12 Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 [Woops, I posted this thread twice :/ my bad...] I feel guilty over every single thought, action, idea... I'm so scared and every bad thought I think of I feel guilt for. For example, I think about if I ever hurt someone that I love and care about physically? Not that I'd ever do it but the thought of it makes me feel guilty. Then its like my mind plays tricks on me and I start thinking that maybe since I thought of the idea then that must mean I would (but not it can't be that way...). Any sort of bad thought just haunts me and makes me feel really bad and I can't seem to move on with my day. It makes me feel so lonely and hurt. For example, I love cats and then I think "oh what if I had one and then hurt it physically". I just think of the idea and possibility but then I start feeling bad and thinking that maybe Im crazy and I just end up feeling so guilty. I love cats but everyone who is capable of anything for as long as they live, not that they would do it. But the possibility of doing it makes me feel so guilty and the fact that the idea went through my mind. My comfort used to always be my Mom. I'd call her and tell her about how bad I felt and such but now I can't do it because Im scared of thinking bad thoughts of her or of ever hurting her physically. Like when I was younger, we would have arguments and I would want her to die or myself to die and of course I would never want her to die but I dwell on the words I used back then and my mind goes in circles thinking "what if I did want that? or what if I do want it now?". I love her more than words can explain and more than the air I breathe, but the thought and idea makes me feel so guilty. My previous problem was thinking I need to be honest with everyone about what I think of them and now Its this...it just keeps getting worse. I'm in college and it's finals week and this just doesn't let me study sorry this was so long...I'm 18 and life just shouldnt be this way...\ Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 [Woops, I posted this thread twice :/ my bad...] I feel guilty over every single thought, action, idea... I'm so scared and every bad thought I think of I feel guilt for. For example, I think about if I ever hurt someone that I love and care about physically? Not that I'd ever do it but the thought of it makes me feel guilty. Then its like my mind plays tricks on me and I start thinking that maybe since I thought of the idea then that must mean I would (but not it can't be that way...). Any sort of bad thought just haunts me and makes me feel really bad and I can't seem to move on with my day. It makes me feel so lonely and hurt. For example, I love cats and then I think "oh what if I had one and then hurt it physically". I just think of the idea and possibility but then I start feeling bad and thinking that maybe Im crazy and I just end up feeling so guilty. I love cats but everyone who is capable of anything for as long as they live, not that they would do it. But the possibility of doing it makes me feel so guilty and the fact that the idea went through my mind. My comfort used to always be my Mom. I'd call her and tell her about how bad I felt and such but now I can't do it because Im scared of thinking bad thoughts of her or of ever hurting her physically. Like when I was younger, we would have arguments and I would want her to die or myself to die and of course I would never want her to die but I dwell on the words I used back then and my mind goes in circles thinking "what if I did want that? or what if I do want it now?". I love her more than words can explain and more than the air I breathe, but the thought and idea makes me feel so guilty. My previous problem was thinking I need to be honest with everyone about what I think of them and now Its this...it just keeps getting worse. I'm in college and it's finals week and this just doesn't let me study sorry this was so long...I'm 18 and life just shouldnt be this way...\ Wow, I thought I was the only one. I'm pretty much the same, even though the thought of causing harm to any innocent person or animal, makes me feel sick to my stomach. I'll try and elaborate more on this later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanes12 Posted June 10, 2012 Author Share Posted June 10, 2012 Wow, I thought I was the only one. I'm pretty much the same, even though the thought of causing harm to any innocent person or animal, makes me feel sick to my stomach. I'll try and elaborate more on this later. Thank you. I feel some sort of relief knowing I'm not alone... Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 I get the impression you posted because you are tired of having these feelings. It sounds like you have a neurotransmitter imbalance....excessive on the excitory ones and low on the inhibitory ones. Have you ever seen a doctor to complain about excessive worrying? If you feel weird describing these feelings to a doctor and ending up referred to a shrink, you could always see someone like a naturopath. There are some hormones/minerals/vitamins that some people can be low in (but not at a level where they show classic physical symptoms such as pellagra for instance) but at sub optimal level where it could have adverse effect on mental outlook. A condition like pyroluria for instance, but I don't think continual guilty feelings are a symptom for that. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 All sorts of thoughts go through our heads every day. The point is we don't act on them. I think it's natural for the mind to explore and consider things - to consider the 'what ifs' in order to protect ourselves and others from danger and to plan for essentials like food and shelter. To do that we mull things over and mentally rehearse them in order to understand how we feel about them. They can be 'good' or 'bad' things, some scary, some ridiculous. Once the mind has explored, we decide how we want to act. The fact that you thought of something doesn't make you evil unless you decide to act on it. It is totally pointless wasting your energy feeling guilty about it. What does feeling guilty do for you? Nothing! You can't change what you thought about in the past. Accept that that was the past, the time has gone and guilt serves no purpose at all except a little reminder as to why you chose not to act upon the thoughts that bothered you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanes12 Posted June 10, 2012 Author Share Posted June 10, 2012 I get the impression you posted because you are tired of having these feelings. It sounds like you have a neurotransmitter imbalance....excessive on the excitory ones and low on the inhibitory ones. Have you ever seen a doctor to complain about excessive worrying? If you feel weird describing these feelings to a doctor and ending up referred to a shrink, you could always see someone like a naturopath. There are some hormones/minerals/vitamins that some people can be low in (but not at a level where they show classic physical symptoms such as pellagra for instance) but at sub optimal level where it could have adverse effect on mental outlook. A condition like pyroluria for instance, but I don't think continual guilty feelings are a symptom for that. Well I'll be heading back to my hometown in about a week so I will definitely seek professional help. Thank you for your comments Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanes12 Posted June 10, 2012 Author Share Posted June 10, 2012 All sorts of thoughts go through our heads every day. The point is we don't act on them. I think it's natural for the mind to explore and consider things - to consider the 'what ifs' in order to protect ourselves and others from danger and to plan for essentials like food and shelter. To do that we mull things over and mentally rehearse them in order to understand how we feel about them. They can be 'good' or 'bad' things, some scary, some ridiculous. Once the mind has explored, we decide how we want to act. The fact that you thought of something doesn't make you evil unless you decide to act on it. It is totally pointless wasting your energy feeling guilty about it. What does feeling guilty do for you? Nothing! You can't change what you thought about in the past. Accept that that was the past, the time has gone and guilt serves no purpose at all except a little reminder as to why you chose not to act upon the thoughts that bothered you. Yes of course. But sometimes my mind tricks me and I end up trying to convince myself that I feel that way still or that Id actually do something as horrible as what I think of. See...I recently got out of a 8-month relationship where I unfortunately cheated. I never ever thought Id do that in my life...but I didn't plan it that way..it just sort of happened. I am very sorry about it, and now I just question my feelings, thoughts, and future actions. I don't think I could ever hurt anyone physically, but then again I never thought I could hurt anyone emotionally by cheating, yet I did. Thank you for your response though. I truly appreciate everyones input. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 (edited) It seems that most people experience this, the difference is they are easily able to quickly dismiss the thoughts (which I can most of the time). Usually though I don't actually feel guilty, because I know I can't help that the thought popped into my mind, and I know I hate the thought of these things, they can make me feel upset, and I would never want to do them. https://www.google.co.uk/#hl=en&safe=off&sclient=psy-ab&q=%22intrusive+thoughts%22&oq=%22intrusive+thoughts%22&aq=f&aqi=g4&aql=&gs_l=hp.3..0l4.2731.6590.0.6933.20.17.0.0.0.0.348.2830.0j14j1j2.17.0...0.0.XdZNY7y6ZBU&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&fp=67f77910ad999297&biw=1024&bih=633 ^ The first result (Wikipedia) gives a good explanation about it. From the bit of research I've done online I haven't heard about anyone continually worrying and analysing about whether it must mean that they actually want to do any of these things though (like yourself and I have). I've only gone into one of those analysing phases probably about 2 or 3 times in the whole of my life (luckily), it's like an OCD thing, but when it happens it'll usually last for several weeks or months, and at least for me, it feels really traumatising. Edited June 10, 2012 by Ross MwcFan Link to post Share on other sites
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