Does she like me or not?

[tomhomme13]

I met this new girl at work and we flirted, teased, lots of eye contact, and light touching, e.g. I put my arm around her waist and she puts her head on my shoulder. Whenever we are in a group she would break from the others and be with me. So great, I thought, I should just ask her out. Guess what: she said she was surprised about the date offer and that although she liked me, she just couldn't see us getting anywhere. Huh?

 

After that, I thought it was over, and her behavior would change towards me. But NO, we had a planned trip to Vegas with a group of mostly her friends . And during that time, she showed all the signs that she liked me before my date request. One evening, when I wanted to turn in early, one of her really good friends told me that this girl would be really happy that I joined them rather than turn in. Ah well, I went out and danced with her and talked and flirted all night. I didn't want to make a real move because she told me no just three days before.

 

I am so confused. Does she like me or not? Should I try again?

 

P.S. O, I forgot to add (biggest elephant in the room IMO) is that we are not of the same race.

[no_radar]

Mate, I have the same problem with a girl I met at work, but havent jumped in with the date request so quickly. We are going to a festival soon an she has been flirting with me as much as me with her, so gonna try make the move when we get there as I still cant quite figure out as with you whether she likes me as a friend and doesnt see it going anywhere of whether shes interested and im reading all the signals wrong!

 

I feel ya pain, women can be somewhat of a mindf*ck when trying to figure them out.

 

I would say she probably does like you, but would like to get to know you better first and makes sure you not just wanting her for sex.....but hey what do I know, can't figure it out myself good luck

[tomhomme13]

I would say she probably does like you, but would like to get to know you better first and makes sure you not just wanting her for sex.....but hey what do I know, can't figure it out myself good luck

 

I think she likes me too despite turning down my date request. *BUT* the problem is that we work in the same place and I don't want to get fired for sexual harassment unless I'm completely sure that the feelings are mutual. I'm not in contact with her right now because I've been sent for sales training. I'll see her again before the end of the month. Hopefully, the time apart will make things clearer ...

 

Anybody else experienced this before? It'll be nice to have some more advice. My best gal pal doesn't know what to make of her either ;(

[Tp101]

Same situation here. I thought for sure she was interested but when I asked her out for lunch, she told me not because of the workplace. So I was bum as to I thought I read her right. Then for a while after that, she still look at me dead in the eye for a while but I just realize that had recently stop. I don't see her much but the last 2 times I saw her I get a different feeling as the connection is gone. I am really sad about this as I really like this person. It also seem like she put a spell on me. I hope your situation works out for you cause it didn't for me. Now when I see her it hurts so bad cause I know she is not mine.

[picaso28]

hi mate, feel for you. Personally don't want to be negative but i think it's one of two things

 

a) she likes the attention and is a tease

b) She does like you but is shy / old fashioned / testing you to see if you are just after quick lay.

 

Unfortunately I would go for answer a. I mean you seem to have done it like a gent bu asking her out on a date and not just trying it on with her at some drunken office party. I have had a similar thing with a girl a couple of years ago. It basically went on for 12 months, all the signs, flirting, eventually sex. But in the end i realised she wanted me to want her, and she actually didnt really value me or like me. So I got shut. Oh and the funny thing is, she emailed me out of the blue 6 months ago asking if we can meet up and if i miss her! No chance steer clear.

 

Good luck either way pal

[LittlePrince]

I met this new girl at work and we flirted, teased, lots of eye contact, and light touching, e.g. I put my arm around her waist and she puts her head on my shoulder. Whenever we are in a group she would break from the others and be with me. So great, I thought, I should just ask her out. Guess what: she said she was surprised about the date offer and that although she liked me, she just couldn't see us getting anywhere. Huh?

 

After that, I thought it was over, and her behavior would change towards me. But NO, we had a planned trip to Vegas with a group of mostly her friends . And during that time, she showed all the signs that she liked me before my date request. One evening, when I wanted to turn in early, one of her really good friends told me that this girl would be really happy that I joined them rather than turn in. Ah well, I went out and danced with her and talked and flirted all night. I didn't want to make a real move because she told me no just three days before.

 

I am so confused. Does she like me or not? Should I try again?

 

P.S. O, I forgot to add (biggest elephant in the room IMO) is that we are not of the same race.

She's playing games for attention. You can't start something with a person who only wants you sometimes. I would avoid her.

[tomhomme13]

Hi guys,

Thanks guys for the advice! It seems from what you guys have experienced is that she's just a tease. Unfortunately, avoiding her will be a problem when I get back from training. We will be on a sales project together and so what I plan to do is to play it by ear and react according to what she throws out. Is there a way to get the upper hand?

[LittlePrince]

It is not worth trying to out play her.

[Glass Bead]

Hi guys,

Thanks guys for the advice! It seems from what you guys have experienced is that she's just a tease. Unfortunately, avoiding her will be a problem when I get back from training. We will be on a sales project together and so what I plan to do is to play it by ear and react according to what she throws out. Is there a way to get the upper hand?

 

Don't react to what she does - be proactive. She said no - accept it and move forward, look for another girl. Keep it professional and ignore/dismiss if she wants to resume the personal contact. You made your intentions clear and she said no. She still wants your attention? Too bad, maybe next time she should have given a different answer.

 

The point is, unless she comes to you and says she changed her mind or asks you what is going on (where you can explain to her that you don't think appropriate to mix personal and professional at this point) you'll be making a fool out of yourself and be under her thumb.

 

PS - Don't date people that you are working with directly. It can take a eyeblink for your emotions to affect your work.

Edited June 15, 2012 by Glass Bead

[tomhomme13]

Thanks for all the advice! I'll have to be strong when I'm around her ... it's going to be tough (she's just too cute) but I'll just have to keep her at arms length.

[Hereiam007]

In California, if they say no, then the next time u ask her is harrasment.

 

Go for somebody who is available. Don't fool yourself. She does this to other guys in the work place. Look at the red flags. It is best to move on perhaps another job.

[tomhomme13]

Haha! In this job climate, it's hard to "move on perhaps another job". I'll be seeing her next week and try not to play games with her. And ignoring her is not possible because we'll be working together until the project ends.