drewdude Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 Hello LS. Currently in a situation and could use some help. There is this female who is actually one of my best friends younger sister. She has always had a thing for me since I've known her brother and things have always been back and forth with her (We start messing around, and continue for a while till one of us usually finds someone. This happens when we are both single) We have had to hide it in the past so I know that is what made things complicated as far as officially dating went(her brother aka my best friend now, wouldn't of had approved and neither would her family). Now that years have past and she hit her early 20s, my best friend actually told me not too long ago that we should date. Their family really likes me and enjoys my company. Even though through the years when we had dated someone else, we both eventually got over each other and remained friends. She has told me I always have a place in her heart and she has feelings for me. Now she just recently had a breakup this week with a guy she was with for about 4 months. A couple days ago me, her, my best friend and some other friends went out. My best friend landed up staying over another friends house. So me and the girl mentioned went back to her house to watch a movie and cuddle. She directly told me she wanted to cuddle with me since she didn't want to sleep alone that night. First we watch a movie, talk for a while then she tells me what happened in her breakup. A little while after, we landed up cuddling on her bed, quite intimately but no 'physical' contact happened. As a man, I kind of wanted to but shes one to always make some sort of move on me so I don't know if she was feeling it, I respected her. Didn't help that her ex man was blowing up her phone when we were cuddling but she said she was going to ignore it. I know this is a total setup for a rebound and with cuddling we had that night, for some reason it brought back some feelings in me. We have done the deed a couple times in the past(a few years ago), I guess you can say we somewhat were involved back then but there wasn't a title, mainly due to her family not knowing me too well. Nowadays, they always mentioned how lucky they are that her brother(my best friend) has a friend like me. I know shes vulnerable but I don't want this to land up with one of us being disappointed in the end(we have rebounded each other a couple times in the past), Unless we ever get to officially date, which would be nice someday. But I know it can't happen now. What can I do to take my mind off her or shake these feelings? I have had physical experiences with her before and I was able to shake it off so quick in the past. But this cuddling got to me and brought back actual feelings of when me and her liked each other. I haven't contact her and neither has she hit me up yet. Except for a few comments on FB but nothing relating to what happened. I am giving her space since her breakup is fresh, but she still lingers in my mind....It would be nice to be exclusive with her someday... Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 My advice is to quit being a whiney pussy and man up and go for it. You two know each other, you've been involved with each other and involved with her family for years and you keep having feelings for each other and keep coming back to each other. In most other cultures throughout history your families would have had you married and you'd have had 7 kids by now. If you are wanting guarentees and wanting promises that there won't ever be any complications or complexities, it just ain't gonna happen. There will always be uncertainties and always be complications and complexities in any relationship you will ever have. You can be a puss and let the fear of the unknown and the fear of all the 'what if?s' keep you from doing what you want deep down or you can accept that there are no guarentees in life and you can pursue your dreams and your own best interests. Link to post Share on other sites
Author drewdude Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 I understand that and agree. But shes only been about 3 weeks single now and she is still hurt over the break up(her relationship with him was only about 4 months but they were with each other almost everyday). Me and her have hung out a few times since the night after her breakup when we cuddled really close. When is a good time to "strike" if you will? 2 months after? 3 months? I just don't want to be rebounded and have history repeat itself like before. Kind of want those feelings for the other guy to evaporate before I can start inviting her out more. Link to post Share on other sites
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