jwi71 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 So let me get this straight. You have your own money and assets (your separate property - henceforth known as SP). Your H has his own money and assets (SP to him). If the house is yours and only yours....why SHOULD your H maintain YOUR SP with HIS SP money? If its YOUR house its YOURS to maintain. Why are you complaining about maintaining YOUR house? Given that he has no legal obligation (nor does it sound like you want to comingle money/assets), why shouldn't he spend his money as he wishes? Why not buy 15 dogs? Do you understand that IF he spends his SP money to maintain YOUR SP house you have comingled assets? That he would have a legal claim to the money he invested in your house (or the appreciated value thereof). Again, it sounds like you are whining about a scenario you created. Its your house so you maintain it with your money. What's the problem here? Link to post Share on other sites
Author peach_bellini Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 So, making him buy some groceries and pay some of the monthlies make it his? I think not. If that is the case, then his cars are mine because I pay the insurance on them, and so is his cellphone (even though his is in his name). Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Some states have what is called community property. Income earned during the marriage is joint funds. How you inherited, when, how you have protected those assets/income is critical to how a disputed division of property would be decided. Point of fact is that most couples agree to a settlement figure and do not allow the bench to rule. Get yourself informed. Knowledge is power. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 So, making him buy some groceries and pay some of the monthlies make it his? I think not. If that is the case, then his cars are mine because I pay the insurance on them, and so is his cellphone (even though his is in his name). Like I said - and you clearly failed to comprehend - its YOUR house and YOUR responsibility. HE isn't REQUIRED to maintain YOUR house, pay the bills (associated to the house) or anything else. How is that hard to understand? With no jointly owned debt, he owes you nothing. Basically, you aren't happy he isn't paying for you assets? Really? smh If you aren't happy with his "windfall gain" from your "gift giving", then stop doing it. That was easy. Again, whats stopping you? And the insurance you pay does NOT give ownership to the asset, merely protects his asset against loss. If you paid to fix the engine (a material improvement/repair/maintenance to the asset), you now have claim to the asset. See the difference? The cellphone, in his name, is his. You may have claim to the service the cell carrier provides (the bill you pay) but not the phone itself (depending on a few things you don't elaborate on). Anyways, its all under your control and you refuse to act...accept your choice and move on... Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 One assumes your inherited house is debt free. The only housing expenses you incur are: property tax, maintenance, insurance. Utilities are perhaps in your name only. You have not specified. Child expenses are allocated by income or split equally. If you earn and provide the lifestyle, in theory you may end up paying him child support. We do not have enough info to comment with knowledge. Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Peach - Look into whether or not you need a free trader agreement on your home. Even though I had a pre-nupt with my exH, the free trader left no room for arguments. Also, I agree, women do not need to have the next deal lined up to find out that they are unhappy with their spouse...sometimes the spouse is worthless even though they think they hung the sun and moon, women out there like that as well.....but not all men and women are that way. I should have kept to my guns and left my exH when I was 8 months pregnant....but if nothing else, I would have kicked him to the curb when our son turned 18....he just took the opportunity to do it for me instead. I know a lot of women who are much happier without a man in their life. Me, I like having my boyfriend in my life, 3 years out. He is a complete 180 of my ex, laid back, relaxed and drama-free. My ex is remarried and has the same problems he had when we were married. I can tell by your venting that there is a lot of animosity, I would say that the biggest thing I wish I had done right, was left my exH or tossed him out before allowing the animosity between us to affect our children. It does affect them on down the road. People do not change....they simply don't, they are who they are and if you are not compatible, well, you just aren't. I abhor cheating, anyone who is that unhappy and thinks they need to cheat should just leave before they drag another person through the mess.....but there are people who are truly unhappy with their spouse and can be happier not having to deal with the angst. Hopefully, one day your feelings about men in general will change. It's sad to let one bad apple spoil the bunch for you to find a harmonious companionship down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
Author peach_bellini Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 I pay the insurance & all taxes. I don't ask him for those, as it is not his to pay. I, also, do not ask him to pay for any repairs on anything. I do ask that he pays part of the electric, his cellphone, the insurance on the cars he drives, and part of the groceries. I believe that is fair. I just want what is fair. Fair is paying his half of the lights, eats, and what he uses. As for anything else, there is no reason to even bother anymore. I try to get his interest in something we can both and he just ignores it or makes fun of it. I no longer even try. He has a house that he bought in another county, that his sister & brother in law live in. They pay rent/payment every month & supposedly the utilities. Which I have been stuck paying a time or two before and refuse to pay again without the cash upfront. I am sick of keeping everyone up. It cuts into the things my 6yo could be doing and I am not going to do it any longer. Things in this house are about to be turned upside down. Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Peach - If I can ask.....why such a separation of the finances? Your idea, his idea....previous marriages for either of you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author peach_bellini Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 This is the first marriage for both of us. I come from a family that has always been very independent & raised us to do everything ourselves, and he is a tightwad. Works well for us. He can't bitch about what I buy as long as he doesn't have to pay for it, and I don't bitch about what he buys as long as I don't have to pay for it. Link to post Share on other sites
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