LostDavid Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 She's the one that brought up that conversation in the first place. I was honest and told her she's my 3rd and how I'm only into long term relationships. As a guy, I was never into sleeping around nor getting drunk at bars. I see people who do that as immature and simply stupid (regardless of gender). But when I asked her back the same question, she responded with an ''Wow I thought it was gonna be higher that's good, well sort of the same here, but that's all''. I asked ''What you mean sort of, I told you my number what is yours'' and she replied ''I don't wanna talk about it''. Ummm then why would she bring up that topic? Does this means I could have been dating one of those wild, party girls with a high number for 2 years all this time??? Otherwise why would she say ''sort of''? Ever since last week I haven't stop thinking about it. Any suggestions?
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 According to modern sexual politics she isn't required to tell you anything though communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Good thing the law in places disagrees and if she knowingly infects you with a VD it is a crime.
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 She's the one that brought up that conversation in the first place. I was honest and told her she's my 3rd and how I'm only into long term relationships. As a guy, I was never into sleeping around nor getting drunk at bars. I see people who do that as immature and simply stupid (regardless of gender). But when I asked her back the same question, she responded with an ''Wow I thought it was gonna be higher that's good, well sort of the same here, but that's all''. I asked ''What you mean sort of, I told you my number what is yours'' and she replied ''I don't wanna talk about it''. Ummm then why would she bring up that topic? Does this means I could have been dating one of those wild, party girls with a high number for 2 years all this time??? Otherwise why would she say ''sort of''? Ever since last week I haven't stop thinking about it. Any suggestions? Obviously her number is astronomical and can only be understood in powers of ten. If her past or her lack of communication is a compatibility issue then you should break up no matter how much time you have been with her. Her ability to tell you the truth about her won't improve with time. I'd feel she was untrustworthy and playing little girl games after this.
Author LostDavid Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 According to modern sexual politics she isn't required to tell you anything though communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Good thing the law in places disagrees and if she knowingly infects you with a VD it is a crime.That's one of the major reason I've always done my best avoiding loose girls. Part from that, I just can't stand people with wild lifestyles. Then again, I love her. Hard to think I would ever fall for that and not know it.
Author LostDavid Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 Obviously her number is astronomical and can only be understood in powers of ten.This is what I was afraid of. How would I deal with this if I'm not a manwhore myself? Or do can people change?
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 This is what I was afraid of. How would I deal with this if I'm not a manwhore myself? Or do can people change? If you are only worried about the sexual partner component have you been physically intimate with her and do you have reason to believe she has cheated on you? If you have been regularly physically intimate with her, she hasn't left, and she isn't cheating then don't worry about it whether you have given her an orgasm or not. You are enough for her. You should want to physically please her since having a giving outlook is apart of being in a relationship but don't get paranoid about it. Most women are sexually dissatisfied and there is nothing men can really usually do about it. Yet the same women are still loyal to their men.
manup Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Find someone with a similar mindset, love apart from attraction is still a choice. Choose wisely.
silvermercy Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Obviously you caught her by surprise when you revealed your number is low - but still very normal - and that you are not a man-whore. (As a female myself I say well done!!) She was most possibly expecting your number to be much higher. I'd guess more than 10 (at least) so she could feel comfortable telling you her own number. Her big number must most possibly involve a lot of casual encounters given her evasive response. Now she's afraid to reveal her number because you'll think of her as loose. I'm guessing you do that already because of what she said, though. Anyway, I find it totally unfair that she would breach the subject first and then back out when she was cornered. It's her right not to answer of course but she treated you differently and she managed to learn your own number. I think you should have another talk. Because fair is fair.
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 (edited) ...or, her number is also low but higher than his. Most men want a woman with lower numbers than theirs no matter how low his is. If he said 2, he'd expect hers to be one. If he said 1, he'd expect hers to be zero. If his were zero, he'd lie and say 10 (ha ha). Hers could be 3 or 4, but as long as it is anything close to his, he'll perceive it as an issue. Interesting turn about though... I'm glad to see women digging into men's sexual history before getting involved with them. Edited June 10, 2012 by RedRobin 3
joystickd Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Sounds like she hates to say she was a slut. If she is not willing to be honest then tell her she can lie to someone else. Don't waste your time on someone ashamed they were a slut. 2
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 It is probably at the very least double digit and that isn't low. There shouldn't be such secrets in a relationship. Neither partner has the right not to share if they want to continue to be in a healthy relationship. As soon as the secrets and lies start popping up it is over.
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 It is probably at the very least double digit and that isn't low. There shouldn't be such secrets in a relationship. Neither partner has the right not to share if they want to continue to be in a healthy relationship. As soon as the secrets and lies start popping up it is over. You and the above posters can't speculate what her numbers are. No doubt she has had the experience of telling men her number in the past and gotten dumped if it is anything close to theirs. Men are huge hypocrites when it comes to how many partners a woman has had... Men think it is A-OK to be a man-whore and when they finally want to settle down, think women should be ok with it, even if she doesn't share the same experience. 3
silvermercy Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Men think it is A-OK to be a man-whore and when they finally want to settle down, think women should be ok with it, even if she doesn't share the same experience. I agree with that totally, but the difference here is that the OP is not a man-whore.
joystickd Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 You and the above posters can't speculate what her numbers are. No doubt she has had the experience of telling men her number in the past and gotten dumped if it is anything close to theirs. Men are huge hypocrites when it comes to how many partners a woman has had... Men think it is A-OK to be a man-whore and when they finally want to settle down, think women should be ok with it, even if she doesn't share the same experience. Actions have consequences and people like what they like there is nothing hypocritical about that. I mean honestly if there are men that feel that way then they have their reasons why. Men and women have to account for their actions if that means because you were a slut or a player at one time and you have trouble with people you are dating because of your past then so be it.
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I agree with that totally, but the difference here is that the OP is not a man-whore. Yeah I don't know what thread she is reading.
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Hell porn stars get married It is like how little girls dress up like mommy to feel like an adult. They want to be what they aren't. In their case they are attempting to be normal.
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I agree with that totally, but the difference here is that the OP is not a man-whore. I understand. The OP's girlfriend did bring it up too. That is usually the cue for mutual disclosure. The OP might try a different path to find out why she is reluctant to share hers since she was curious about his. I still think it is quite possible it isn't 'high'... just equal to or higher than his and she is self-conscious due to many men's propensity for double standards. In any case, if a discussion came up like that for me, and I felt uncomfortable sharing certain information about my life, I just wouldn't become intimate with him. I wouldn't continue hoping he'd stop caring about it. I think is is good for people to share their list of 'dealbreakers' before becoming intimate. I can recall at least one situation where a man shared his dealbreakers with me and I refused to continue seeing him rather than tell him that I didn't meet one of his 'criteria'. Of course, he wanted to know why, and I just told him we weren't compatible. Easy enough.
wordrock Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 There is some really horrible advice and plainly bitter people in this thread. ~ OP, if someone you are having a relationship tells you they don't want to talk about something you should oblige and not make demands. Bring it up some other time the next time the subject comes up. Or, you can act like an immature boy man over and over again with different women and learn the hard way... or possibly never learn at all and end up like some of the bitter bad apples on this forum. 1
joystickd Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I understand. The OP's girlfriend did bring it up too. That is usually the cue for mutual disclosure. The OP might try a different path to find out why she is reluctant to share hers since she was curious about his. I still think it is quite possible it isn't 'high'... just equal to or higher than his and she is self-conscious due to many men's propensity for double standards. In any case, if a discussion came up like that for me, and I felt uncomfortable sharing certain information about my life, I just wouldn't become intimate with him. I wouldn't continue hoping he'd stop caring about it. I think is is good for people to share their list of 'dealbreakers' before becoming intimate. I can recall at least one situation where a man shared his dealbreakers with me and I refused to continue seeing him rather than tell him that I didn't meet one of his 'criteria'. Of course, he wanted to know why, and I just told him we weren't compatible. Easy enough. She waited too long so it should be over. Anything she says now could be a lie
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 She waited too long so it should be over. Anything she says now could be a lie He chose to be intimate with her regardless. I'd say responsibility lies with both of them. Anything anyone says at anytime could be a lie. No guarantees against that. If you don't trust someone, don't sleep with them. Real easy.
joystickd Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 He chose to be intimate with her regardless. I'd say responsibility lies with both of them. Anything anyone says at anytime could be a lie. No guarantees against that. If you don't trust someone, don't sleep with them. Real easy. I know it would have been over when I revealed my past and she couldn't hers. There's too many women out here to be wasting time on one that can't keep it real.
darkmoon Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 what is the big deal? "she brought it up..." you say, let go instead of being accusing of her, if the men here think dumping is the answer women will end up not screwing guys at all ever in case we are deemed "sluts" by boorish men there is no male equivalent to the word slut you men want hot but virginal at the same time - unrealistic
joystickd Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 what is the big deal? "she brought it up..." you say, let go instead of being accusing of her, if the men here think dumping is the answer women will end up not screwing guys at all ever in case we are deemed "sluts" by boorish men there is no male equivalent to the word slut you men want hot but virginal at the same time - unrealistic Correcton: I want hot and honest:lmao: 1
joystickd Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 There is some really horrible advice and plainly bitter people in this thread. ~ OP, if someone you are having a relationship tells you they don't want to talk about something you should oblige and not make demands. Bring it up some other time the next time the subject comes up. Or, you can act like an immature boy man over and over again with different women and learn the hard way... or possibly never learn at all and end up like some of the bitter bad apples on this forum. She asked and he was honest, but when the question turned to her she wasn't forthcoming. What would you do since we are all so bitter Great One other than wait around for her to answer?
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