setsenia Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 Is it considered rude to ask your guests to empty your dishwasher for you prior to them getting the food ready? I've always been told by one of my parents that it's rude to ask your guests to put away or do your dishes for you when you invite them over. On the other hand, it's perfectly reasonable and polite for them to offer to help you in the kitchen. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 I believe it is rude to ask guests to ask to do any chores. And for emptying a dishwasher - they would spend more time trying to figure out where to put things when they don't know the layout of your kitchen... Seems very rude, actually. They should offer to clean up after themselves and possibly do their own dishes after the meal, but if offered, you can guide them towards what would be helpful, but asking them beforehand would be rude, yes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
goodthingscome Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Yes, that would be rude. Hopefully though, your guests are "close" enough that they would offer to assist and then you could assign a task. If they don't though, be a good host or hostess and carry on.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I would never ask a guest to do chores in my home! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author setsenia Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 My dad had me over for my birthday yesterday and expected me to help prepare the food. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful he had a surprise birthday for me, but he jumped down my throat about why I wasn't at this "BBQ" at 4:30 to help him make a salad when I hadn't even promised him anything and the guests didn't show up until close to 6pm. If you're planning a surprise party, shouldn't the guests be there first? LOL And I don't think the guest of honor should be preparing the food. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 It really depends on the (ethnic) culture of the people in the house and how close they consider you to be to their household. If it were immediate family, I don't think it's rude, as a general principle. But there shouldn't be an expectation that the help will be provided - it should still be requested politely and certain chores such as laundry might be crossing the line. However, in the specific situation that you mention, I think it was unreasonable of your father to expect you to help with the food prep for your own surprise party. Sounds like he created an opportunity to have a go at you. Hopefully, you've learned your lesson and you won't be attending anymore surprise parties held by your father. I hope I'm not confusing you with another poster, but I think you've posted quite a bit about your family conflicts and it seems that family life for you is fraught with disagreements and upsets. If it were me, I'd stay away - even if that meant that I only saw them once a year and accepted that they b*tched about me for the rest of the time. As an adult, you really don't have to spend time with anyone, let alone family, if they're damaging to your mental health and wellbeing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author setsenia Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 That's true, january. When my dad asked about the BBQ, I didn't give him a definite answer, I just asked who would be there and what time. I never said ok, see you then or any of that. Yet he called me as if I promised I'd be there that that time and was prepared to tell him to his face that I did not make any promises and that I have my own life. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Is it considered rude to ask your guests to empty your dishwasher for you prior to them getting the food ready? I've always been told by one of my parents that it's rude to ask your guests to put away or do your dishes for you when you invite them over. On the other hand, it's perfectly reasonable and polite for them to offer to help you in the kitchen. Thoughts? Yes. If they offer, then that's different but I wouldn't ever ask a guest to empty the dishwasher, do dishes or dry dishes. Infact, when we have guests over we leave the dishes until the next day as we're too tired to do them before bed. Link to post Share on other sites
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