rd1978 Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 ok im kind of unshure what to do here,,, 5 year realtionship,, we borke up,,, i kinda took her for granted or i guess let things get to comfortable,, and we werent fun things anymore etc. so she was really into me im guess you could say i always had an upper hand..... But the thing is there were points when i was turning her down to do stuff because of work stress etc.etc.And it alway seemed she was the 1 asking me to hang out.... so there is another guy she has been hanging out with ,, she was talking to him before we broke up,, and i think he buttered her all up,,, I have NOT contacted her 1 time in the last 9 weeks we have been split,, she has been the one calling and instant messaging me... i wasnt responding at first ,, then about 2 weeks ago i did ,, and she has written me 10 out of 13 days on instant messanger and she has called me a couple of times,,,,, so now im at a point where were are talking but she is still hanigng out with that other guy,, when we talk i dont give any emotions of wanting her or wanting to work things out,,,, i have blocked her on instant messanger and have not talked to her for 3 days,, the longest in 2 weeks,,,,, She hasnt braught up the other kid and she has no clue if im seeing anyone SO the thing is i dont know what she wants,, even if she did miss me and wanted to "maybe" work things out,, she doesnt know what i want and i dont think she is going to take the step to ask me to hang out,, and i know she is not going to just stop hanging out w/ this kid because then she will have no one,,,although on fri i could have sworn she was going to ask me to hang out,, she kept asking what i was doing and she said she really didnt like any of her options, so maybe she was going to just stay home or something ..... but i told her i had plans,,,,, and again she doesnt know if im seeing anyone,, the last thing she would want is to ask me to hang out and me turn her down or be like f*uck you we are done,,, SO my question is should i do something like call her in the morning like she was doing to me? not ask her to hang out but just call her and maybe tell her about a dream i had about her or something,, { just conversation}because believe me i have shown her no reason to think i would want to work things out ,, except for in the very begining 8 weeks ago.... I just dont want to pump up her head,,, or should i continue no " contact" ,, i could just unblock her and keep letting her talk to me on instant messanger,,, the thing is the more we talk the less she is hanging out with this kid......... Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 Well first off, you are sending mixed signals by blocking her and responding to her in other ways. When she IMs, don't respond immediately, but respond after a few minutes, talk to her then cut her off and tell her you have to go out. Then go out. Do the same on the phone, I gotta go...see ya...etc. If she starts talking about getting back together or seeing you, I would say OK, then say, wait are you still seeing such and such? Then if she is tell her that it isn't appropriate for you to see each other while she's dating someone else. Or just that you don't want to hang with her while she's screwing someone else. Send consistent signals. You either don't care, or you do. You either want her back or you don't. Blocking and refusing to talk are not the same as just having better things to do. So you care, and you want her back. Talk to her, be polite, but don't give her anything more as long as she is seeing someone else. Tell her to give you a call when she's done with him. I think she's seeing that the green grass on the other side ain't so green after all. The other tactic is to just pretend you don't care at all, to make her jealous, but in your case, she may see this as confirmation that she was right about you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rd1978 Posted June 30, 2004 Author Share Posted June 30, 2004 your soooo right... one of the biggest reasons we broke up in the first place was because of lack of communication,, and "game playing" i told her what i wanted and how i felt when we first broke up,, and i told her what i would do to fix the problem and she knew what she had to do also,, she felt so damn proud of herself she had to stick to her guns,,, maybe if i wasnt so stubborn after she broke up with me and called me a million times afterward if i had awnsered maybe i could have fixed things,,,, BUT i wasnt going to let her have her cake and eat it to,, this kid has to be an assh*ole because he was always asking her to hang otu and he knew she was with me,, i know they do alot of fun things and what not,, but mostly involves going out and drinking and stuff..... Im almost semi positive that she prob doesnt think i want to work things out with her,,,, but i am in no way being a dick,, i was never the guy that showed my true feeling and how much i cared,,,,, she probally likes this kid but i honestly feel its a cover to mask her feelings for me and get out of the relationship,, somewhat like a rebound..... im going out tonight and i have a good feeling ill run into them out ,,,, Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts