StarlaStardust Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 wow, sky wow thank you for posting that i want to hug you and buy you brunch! haha Day 13 NC and tomorrow I am going to be at a lake-side party for a good friend of mine with a bunch of fine men. Sadly, they're all thugs, and I don't want a thug, but they are damn fine and know how to pay attention to a woman:) It will really help me take my mind off things. Link to post Share on other sites
StarlaStardust Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Bummer, the party got cancelled. I am suddenly feeling lonelier than I have since the break up. And I am going to use this awful loneliness as an opportunity to become more emotionally self sufficient. But holy crap, this sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skyisfalling Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 Bummer, the party got cancelled. I am suddenly feeling lonelier than I have since the break up. And I am going to use this awful loneliness as an opportunity to become more emotionally self sufficient. But holy crap, this sucks. girl, I know what you mean. UGH it is lonely it sucks, weekends suck even more. But you got me and the LS family!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author skyisfalling Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 I think back to my breakup and all the f***ing promises he made to me all fu**ing broken.. I'm so mad at him. RIGHT NOW, I dont want him back i want him OUT of my life and if i see him I want to SPIT in his face. I'm so FUMING pissed the f*** off that he could treat me this way, how dare he? After all that Ive been through, put up for him. UGH, i hate him with every passion of my being and this makes me want to better myself even more.. is this normal? Is this healthy? Please tell me it is because right now, I dont even want to think of his as* c**t face and I dont even want to think or recollect all the memories we had together because they were FAKE and TRASH. I HATE HIM:( Link to post Share on other sites
StarlaStardust Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 I think what you're feeling is normal. Anger is depression in movement. Move that sadness out, girl! I've nearly broke NC a few times today. I want to tell him that the door is open, and when he's ready to talk, he won't be greeted with hostility. But I committed to myself 30 days NC and this is day 14. So I will just keep taking care of me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skyisfalling Posted June 24, 2012 Author Share Posted June 24, 2012 I think what you're feeling is normal. Anger is depression in movement. Move that sadness out, girl! I've nearly broke NC a few times today. I want to tell him that the door is open, and when he's ready to talk, he won't be greeted with hostility. But I committed to myself 30 days NC and this is day 14. So I will just keep taking care of me. What happens after NC 30 days? Link to post Share on other sites
StarlaStardust Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 What happens after NC 30 days? I'm not sure, but he is on the dating site I want to put myself on and I know it will match us up because we have so much in common, and it's going to sting when that happens, so I am waiting 30 days. My NC includes no looking at his profiles online. I haven't deleted him from facebook because honestly it would just feel petty, and we have so many mutual friends that I think the drama it could start if I deleted him would kind of defeat the purpose of NC. What inspired the strict NC was seeing his dating profile in the first place. He describes himself there as very open, honest, and confident, and I sincerely believe that his lack of those qualities caused major issues in our relationship! But he wants to be in denial, I suppose, and assume it is somehow my fault that he didn't bring forth those qualities. Meanwhile, I'm over here changing myself as much as possible when it comes to my short comings, so I know this man can't be a good partner right now. Like, seriously, what am I going to do? Contact him to tell him how much I miss being with him, only to point out how much he really needs to change? Link to post Share on other sites
Author skyisfalling Posted June 24, 2012 Author Share Posted June 24, 2012 I'm not sure, but he is on the dating site I want to put myself on and I know it will match us up because we have so much in common, and it's going to sting when that happens, so I am waiting 30 days. My NC includes no looking at his profiles online. I haven't deleted him from facebook because honestly it would just feel petty, and we have so many mutual friends that I think the drama it could start if I deleted him would kind of defeat the purpose of NC. What inspired the strict NC was seeing his dating profile in the first place. He describes himself there as very open, honest, and confident, and I sincerely believe that his lack of those qualities caused major issues in our relationship! But he wants to be in denial, I suppose, and assume it is somehow my fault that he didn't bring forth those qualities. Meanwhile, I'm over here changing myself as much as possible when it comes to my short comings, so I know this man can't be a good partner right now. Like, seriously, what am I going to do? Contact him to tell him how much I miss being with him, only to point out how much he really needs to change? Good for you Starla! I think its important to put yourself out there, especially since he is too. Who knows, maybe you'll meet Mr Right. But definitely contacting him, as much as you want to is not a good thing, nothing good can come out of it and it'll only seem like nagging if he's listening to you. I wish I could see my ex on a dating site- then I know if he's still alive. *sigh* The joy of being MIA. Link to post Share on other sites
StarlaStardust Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 Thanks, sky:) How has the weekend been for you? I know you said you dread weekends a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skyisfalling Posted June 24, 2012 Author Share Posted June 24, 2012 Thanks, sky:) How has the weekend been for you? I know you said you dread weekends a bit. Its been almost a month and I feel like im backtracking, i just can't get him off my mind. I read all these threads about how the ex is constantly in their lives checking in on them and not ONE word from my ex! I want to know he's still alive, he's basically disappeared off the face of this earth and i can't understand how he's not curious or concerned for me! Luckily the weekend is almost over, so hopefully it'll get better.. this really sucks. I wish i got a text from my ex telling me to f*** off at the very least. Link to post Share on other sites
StarlaStardust Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 I feel you there, sky! I have a hard time with all the threads about dumpers who stay in contact. I feel jealous of them, haha! I'm approaching 3 months of full NC from him, and I still constantly think about it. It is VERY hard to move on from it when they leave you hanging like that. Our brains stay stuck because it doesn't feel as simple as "welp, they're an *******," because of the myriad of wonderful things we remember about them. Hang in there. Vent here and don't be shy/self conscious. I for some reason have totally latched on to you here and read most everything you post, so know you have someone who will always pay attention to you here:). I decided that every time I feel tempted to contact my ex to retrieve him back into my life, I am going to do something instead to retrieve MYSELF:). I have been focusing on myself quite a bit, but I can do even better! Link to post Share on other sites
Author skyisfalling Posted June 24, 2012 Author Share Posted June 24, 2012 Oh Starla, thank you so much for your kind words! Reading that just made me shed a tear.. sometimes you just feel so hopeless and alone- but im sure you know what i'm talking about. 3 months NC is such an amazing feat! You should be so very proud of yourself.. i can only dream of making it that far without losing my sanity. I know we go through an emotional rollercoaster, but did you feel like you had a harder time going through certain periods than others? How were you 1 month into NC? You seem to grasp life really well and I am really proud of you. You're words are truly inspiring and I too, check up on all the posts you write You're story similarly mirrors mine and I feel like I can relate. Link to post Share on other sites
StarlaStardust Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 HE is on 3 months NC. I tried to contact him at least a handful of times. I'M on 15 days NC. 1 month in I was in total disbelief. It is really the cruelest way I've ever been dumped. The most beautiful relationship I ever had ended so unnecessarily cruelly. I've had other guys dump me in text/email/fb, but they responded to me when I called them, at least to say "I have nothing to say." And even then, when I contacted them a few weeks later to give our belongings back to each other, they had the decency to respond and face the music. My ex is just a coward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skyisfalling Posted June 24, 2012 Author Share Posted June 24, 2012 sigh.. you took the words right out of my mouth. Link to post Share on other sites
StarlaStardust Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 I'm going to take myself out to lunch and visit my best friend at her job and go shopping and run some errands and work out and IT'S ALL ABOUT ME RIGHT NOW:) I'll be back later to check on you, lovely Miss SKy Link to post Share on other sites
Author skyisfalling Posted June 24, 2012 Author Share Posted June 24, 2012 have an amazing time for the both of us Link to post Share on other sites
StarlaStardust Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 It was a rough one. I just keep thinking of him. I miss him. I am going to keep having faith that time will heal. I still feel very proud that I did all the things for myself that I intended to do. I have come a long way from when I was younger and used to miss work and get so irreparably depressed when I was having guy problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skyisfalling Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 sorry to hear that starla.. I'm in the same boat as you very shaken up. my ex contacted me and i still dont know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
StarlaStardust Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Of course it's your choice, but I vote for doing nothing except taking marvelous care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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