whoknowsx Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Hello, This is a hell of a way to start posting but I wanted to share my story. I am 24 and pregnant. My ex and I had a turbulent relationship that resulted in him breaking up with me twice because "we are not compatible" and "i dont make him happy". I ended up getting pregnant while we were broken up and I gave him the option to be in his child life -- he accepted that option and also decided that he wanted to try to make things work with me because he loves me. Well four short weeks later he decided that he couldn't do it, and that we are over.... Meanwhile, he and I are stuck in a rough place because we are one year away from finishing our JD so we decided to live together and co-parent the baby for the school year. I decided to limit my contact with him because everytime I would hang around him I would either get a) resentful that he didnt even try for us to be a family or b) attachd hoping that he will love me again. I'm concerned about living together cause I feel that both these feelings will arise again. I feel like he takes all the good from me (the fun-loving, adventurous spirit + our son) and leaves the bad (the hormonal, sometimes moody, sometimes attitude) and I feel like thats unfair. Despite being very lonely with this pregnancy i've decided that I rather be lonely then feel like I'm being taken advantage of. What boundaries do you think I should draw for the no/limited contact? and do you think I can continue to limit contact when we live together or would that make for a hostile environment. I am open to all advice. Thanks so much! Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Ok so same law class? Birth prior to JD and bar exam? Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 "gave him the option" is an interesting phrase coming from a 3L. As you clearly know the man has legal parenting rights. From your initial post I think he is the biological father though your statement was that your pregnancy happened during a time apart in your relationship. Perhaps you meant the positive test was during a break in the relationship. Are you both from the city where you are in law school? Do you expect an offer from your summer employer? Job offers for 3Ls come between Aug-Jan in most situations. Handling visitation, covering sick childcare is a complication. Most new associates work long hours. Is either parent considering clerkship of public service work? Link to post Share on other sites
Author whoknowsx Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 I'm confused as to how "gave him an option" is an interesting phrase. I got pregnant while we were separated -- he wanted me to abort, and I didn't. I didn't want to force the kid on him so I gave him the option. But to answer your questions Are you both from the city where you are in law school? We are both from Surburbs of the city we attend law school. Do you expect an offer from your summer employer? I absolutely expect an offer. He is public interest so he will figure employment this year. Most new associates work long hours. Why yes they do. I would get a fulltime nanny. Is either parent considering clerkship of public service work? He is doing public service work Same law class? Yes, both 3Ls at the same school. Birth prior to JD and bar exam? Yes, birth in october. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 (edited) As I would expect from a worthy wannabe JD you've got it worked out. The emotional issues are way trickier. A Type A living with him~~not seeing it. Get your own place and if you spend time together you'll preserve your safety of independence. I'm slow. Is he the biological father? I'm confused. Edited June 11, 2012 by Balzac Link to post Share on other sites
Author whoknowsx Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 As I would expect from a worthy wannabe JD you've got it worked out. The emotional issues are way trickier. A Type A living with him~~not seeing it. Get your own place and if you spend time together you'll preserve your safety of independence. I'm slow. Is he the biological father? I'm confused. Yes, he is the biological father... I just got pregnant (by him) during a time when we were broken up. I guess the emotional component is what i'm more concerned about -- I would like to get my own place but that goes against all the advice I'm getting from people in my "real life" who tells me that I'm going to need his presence while the baby is still a new born. And I guess the real question is... am i right for doing no/limited contact? and if so, what boundaries should I set? Link to post Share on other sites
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