superstaroxox Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Since my 3-year psychologically abusive relationship with my ex, I have changed so much! I used to be this really confident social butterfly. I didn't have much of a problem starting up conversations with people and a lot of people liked me. I could wear whatever I wanted and be confident in it as long as I liked it. I wouldn't really mind if someone didn't like me or if someone else was pretty, cuz I was confident enough in myself. Yes, I had my problems but I was happy and confident and full of life! Now, I'm a totally different person. I'm 21 years old, and I'm just starting my life over again - trying to make friends and have fun. I lost ALL my friends during my relationship, not that they were good friends or anything though. I am totally socially awkward in conversations with people. I am shy and totally insecure about myself. I constantly feel like no one likes me, and it honestly seems like that's true. Not many people make an effort to befriend me or talk to me. For instance, I went to the first party I've been to in like 3 1/2 years yesterday, and I just felt like an idiot. NO ONE paid attention to me. My friend brought me along and she introduced me to her friends, and they weren't interested in talking to me at all. All the attention was focused on my pretty friend as well, and I felt a little jealous, something I never really felt before! The thing is, I know I'm a person with a lot of worth that deserves so much, but I just can't seem to show that when I'm around people. I'm embarassed and always feel like what I say is stupid, so I just shut up most of the time. I'm aware that my insecurity probably leads people to believe, that if I don't feel I have worth than I must not be that great. But it's like I just CAN'T speak up or CAN'T say what I really want out of fear of looking stupid. I also OBSESS over my looks constantly. Before I would have worn something and felt confident in it because I liked it. Now I want to wear things OTHER people may like. Ugh. I feel like I've hit rock bottom. I feel I don't have a friend in the world to talk to. I just feel worthless at times, even though I know I'm not! I'm so ANGRY at HIM for taking ME away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Screw that bastard. Focus on you. Take baby steps. Start off by making a list of things you like about yourself. When you can't tell others what you are feeling, journal it, so you can get it out. Be patient and gentle with yourself. My ex was a monster who turned my whole world upside down and was glad to do it. I was so jealous of the woman he cheated on me with because he treated her better than me. But any woman that ends up with him I now pity. Do things that make you feel good about yourself. Screw the party. Start by working on yourself and being in environments that make you comfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author superstaroxox Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 Screw that bastard. Focus on you. Take baby steps. Start off by making a list of things you like about yourself. When you can't tell others what you are feeling, journal it, so you can get it out. Be patient and gentle with yourself. My ex was a monster who turned my whole world upside down and was glad to do it. I was so jealous of the woman he cheated on me with because he treated her better than me. But any woman that ends up with him I now pity. Do things that make you feel good about yourself. Screw the party. Start by working on yourself and being in environments that make you comfortable. Thanks hun, you're awesome. You've helped me a lot throughout this. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Thanks hun, you're awesome. You've helped me a lot throughout this. :):):) Link to post Share on other sites
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