His kids found out...

[Angel1111]

Staying friends with xMM has caused new problems. We have been talking on fb for several months and somehow one of his kids figured out his password and has been reading our messages for a long time. His son also told his sister about the affair and now she won't even talk to her dad. We usually just talked about our day but sometimes talked about things from our past - which left no doubt that we had an affair. His son is hardly talking to him but has said that their mom must not find out. xMM has one other son but I don't think he knows...yet. I think this has so much potential for disaster by MM not telling his wife at this point, or just leaving her. This is very sad because he has been so close to his kids. They practically worshipped him. I'm so sorry I let him back into my life. We stopped talking for months and I should've left it that way. Needless to say, this has put me in a really bad position at work, especially now that his son is a VP at the company now. I'm currently looking for another job.

 

Does anyone have any experience on this, or any thoughts? xMM says that he doesn't think he'll ever get his daughter's trust back and he is heartbroken about it.

[Angel1111]

I have experience with it. 5 years and counting, Mr. Messy wants what he destroyed with his children. They too found out, he got what he wanted out of his family and without the relationships that weighed him down. He needs to leave them alone and let them deal on their own.

 

I'm not sure I understand your post. What do the last 2 sentences mean.

[Angel1111]

He should leave them alone until they are ready to deal with him on their terms.

 

Oh, I see. Yes probably. He said that he was going to try to talk to his daughter this weekend but I don't think it went well if he did. And now Fathers Day is coming up. I don't see how his wife isn't going to notice that something is wrong. This has become such a mess.

[whichwayisup]

He has to tell his wife. What he is doing by not telling her and hoping/wishing the kids don't tell her is wrong of him. He's put them in a tough spot.

 

It is possible for you to ask for a transfer? Or start looking for another job..

 

As for the contact on fb, you say he's your exMM, but it seems like it just turned into a continuation of the A, albeit online, but it is a form of cheating still and keeping the feelings alive and ego's stroked. Each of you were still getting something out of it by keeping in touch.

 

Maybe this is a sign for you to say goodbye and move on with your life, end ALL contact with him.

 

Sucks to be in the mess, I feel for you as your work place soon isn't going to be comfortable anymore.

[whichwayisup]

Oh, I see. Yes probably. He said that he was going to try to talk to his daughter this weekend but I don't think it went well if he did. And now Fathers Day is coming up. I don't see how his wife isn't going to notice that something is wrong. This has become such a mess.

ALL the more reason for him to tell his wife!

 

He brought this all on himself and now it's blown up in his face. Obviously his kid snooped one day as I bet your exMM left the computer on and didn't log out fb. Then his kid saw something and figured out the password.

 

Of course his wife is going to notice, especially with fathers day coming up next week. He has to come clean, face what he's done and go from there. Lying/denying or minimizing this is only going to make things worse.

 

Have you deleted him from your facebook yet?

[Emme]

He has a lot of work to do. I think he should come clean with his wife. To have your children carry around that information and know what is must be tearing them apart. If he loves his children he should spill all the information before his children do. It's just not wise to put that burden on their shoulders.

 

When or if he tells his wife he needs to have a conversation with his kids. Just to reiterate that he loves them and when they are ready to talk he will be there. Then he can leave them alone. Not sure of ages but they seem old enough to know their dad loves them and what he's done is a mistake.

 

I hope he won't ask his children to lie for him or stay quiet.

[MissBee]

Staying friends with xMM has caused new problems. We have been talking on fb for several months and somehow one of his kids figured out his password and has been reading our messages for a long time. His son also told his sister about the affair and now she won't even talk to her dad. We usually just talked about our day but sometimes talked about things from our past - which left no doubt that we had an affair. His son is hardly talking to him but has said that their mom must not find out. xMM has one other son but I don't think he knows...yet. I think this has so much potential for disaster by MM not telling his wife at this point, or just leaving her. This is very sad because he has been so close to his kids. They practically worshipped him. I'm so sorry I let him back into my life. We stopped talking for months and I should've left it that way. Needless to say, this has put me in a really bad position at work, especially now that his son is a VP at the company now. I'm currently looking for another job.

 

Does anyone have any experience on this, or any thoughts? xMM says that he doesn't think he'll ever get his daughter's trust back and he is heartbroken about it.

 

I completely understand his kid's point of view because right now we're going through that with my dad and I have pretty much zero respect for him. He's my dad and I will always love him, but don't like him very much and just cannot respect or take him seriously. We've always had a strained relationship partly because he's a serial cheater, so at almost every point in my life I can remember that...and now that I am a lot older, wiser and a woman myself, I understand the dynamic more and it makes me even more sickened by him and his behavior. There's nothing you personally can do to help him and his kids....that's on him and he ruined that relationship himself. However, you can opt out of his life and not further help him along this path.

 

It's such a mess that his son is VP at your company, as much as he should be professional and impartial, humans are humans and it is bound to affect your job. It's good that you're looking for something else. I do think the best thing is to just end this friendship and allow him to at least try to mend his family relationship without you in the picture. Whether or not he tells his wife or leaves her...it will still be a disaster. Did a dday occur before?

[Angel1111]

He has to tell his wife. What he is doing by not telling her and hoping/wishing the kids don't tell her is wrong of him. He's put them in a tough spot.

 

It is possible for you to ask for a transfer? Or start looking for another job..

 

As for the contact on fb, you say he's your exMM, but it seems like it just turned into a continuation of the A, albeit online, but it is a form of cheating still and keeping the feelings alive and ego's stroked. Each of you were still getting something out of it by keeping in touch.

 

Maybe this is a sign for you to say goodbye and move on with your life, end ALL contact with him.

 

Sucks to be in the mess, I feel for you as your work place soon isn't going to be comfortable anymore.

 

A transfer isn't possible and it wouldn't matter. I work in a different city than he and his son but I still don't think my presence is appropriate any more. It never was but I love my job and will be very sorry to leave. MM would protect me but what if something happened to him? I'm in a bad position no matter what. It does no good to talk about how much I wish this had never happened because it's far too late for that. I just need to make my exit and hope I find a job I love as much as I do this one. MM does not want me to leave but I think he's deluding himself about the whole thing.

 

I agree about telling his wife. He is so playing with fire, and putting his kids in a horrible position. Personally, I think he just needs to leave his marriage at this point because telling his wife that he had an affair with me off and on for 8 yrs will be completely unforgivable and it will only hurt her in a huge way. I think he thinks that he can just continue on and try to get his kid's trust back but it's not going to work that way. He told his son that our affair is over but that he will still talk to me. He said that his son was fine with that but I don't see how he could be and I said this to MM. I think his son was in shock at the time but I don't think he will be ok with it after he thinks about it. I think they're all in denial and shock at this point.

[whichwayisup]

Don't assume he will leave her and that's the only answer. Maybe she will kick him out, maybe she won't. Just be prepared for a phone call from her. She is going to find out who you are eventually.

 

Are you prepared to exit his life forever? Delete him off of facebook?

 

There's no way he can protect you.. He now has to put his kids first, whatever age they are and focus on telling his wife about the A.

[Angel1111]

ALL the more reason for him to tell his wife!

 

He brought this all on himself and now it's blown up in his face. Obviously his kid snooped one day as I bet your exMM left the computer on and didn't log out fb. Then his kid saw something and figured out the password.

 

Of course his wife is going to notice, especially with fathers day coming up next week. He has to come clean, face what he's done and go from there. Lying/denying or minimizing this is only going to make things worse.

 

Have you deleted him from your facebook yet?

 

I haven't deleted him from facebook yet because it just feels like I would be kicking him while he's down. I do believe he's kidding himself about the whole thing though. I'm so torn about what to do. I know it seems obvious but he is a dear friend and he does everything in his power to maintain my friendship. I know it's not all about sex and ego either.

[whichwayisup]

It isn't kicking him while he's down. This has to happen and he knows this too. Wouldn't you rather be the one to say first"look, it's best we don't talk anymore, especially on facebook." then delete him? Because as soon as his wife finds out, he WILL delete you asap.

 

Yes you had a helping hand in all this by allowing him back into your life, but now you have to think of what is best for you. Detaching and getting out of the habit of talkin to him so much. It also isn't fair to have a friendship, especially if they try to work things out.

[Angel1111]

I completely understand his kid's point of view because right now we're going through that with my dad and I have pretty much zero respect for him. He's my dad and I will always love him, but don't like him very much and just cannot respect or take him seriously. We've always had a strained relationship partly because he's a serial cheater, so at almost every point in my life I can remember that...and now that I am a lot older, wiser and a woman myself, I understand the dynamic more and it makes me even more sickened by him and his behavior. There's nothing you personally can do to help him and his kids....that's on him and he ruined that relationship himself. However, you can opt out of his life and not further help him along this path.

 

It's such a mess that his son is VP at your company, as much as he should be professional and impartial, humans are humans and it is bound to affect your job. It's good that you're looking for something else. I do think the best thing is to just end this friendship and allow him to at least try to mend his family relationship without you in the picture. Whether or not he tells his wife or leaves her...it will still be a disaster. Did a dday occur before?

 

xMM isn't a serial cheater; it isn't that kind of thing. Still, his affair is hurtful to his kids. I understand that. There has never been a d-day but his wife knew years ago that he was attracted to me; and I think she knew about the thousands of emails between us. However, she told everybody that I was the one chasing him, calling him all the time, etc. Which wasn't true. I'm not blaming her but she definitely ignored the red flags. In truth, I don't know how she didn't know about the affair but if there was ever a d-day, I never knew about it.

[MissBee]

I haven't deleted him from facebook yet because it just feels like I would be kicking him while he's down. I do believe he's kidding himself about the whole thing though. I'm so torn about what to do. I know it seems obvious but he is a dear friend and he does everything in his power to maintain my friendship. I know it's not all about sex and ego either.

 

 

I'm gonna be honest and say that if you're a true friend, then you'd want to give him space to work on this situation. He knows where to find you if he so chooses to leave his marriage and come be with you...but frankly, I don't see how him maintaining contact with you throughout this process will help the situation....esp if his kids/wife were to find out you were still talking. My dad recently lied to my mom about the same thing, she found out, we all found out and we all are looking at him as a huge, compulsive liar. No one believes anything he says at this point and it seems as though he is taking us all for idiots by apologizing then still maintaining contact. I'm sorry...but it's either/or.

 

Is his friendship with you more important than his family? It may be....as while he is doing everything in his power to maintain your friendship, where does that leave his family? How can he maintain both, when the reason his kids aren't happy with him, is because of this "friendship"? You can't lose true friends by focusing on your own mess....I've never lost a real friend that way. I'm not saying true friendship can't exist in an A, but like other romantically charged relationships, it's not just about friendship...it's often hard to subtract the friendship from the romance and the selfishness that romance can bring. The headiness that romance brings is quite different from the feelings you get with friends. I don't think it is possible to be friends with your affair partner if you choose not to divorce. He may ultimately choose that, and he should, if he is done with his marriage. But while it is all fresh, I think he has to traverse this road alone. A real friend will still be available when the dust settles.

[Angel1111]

Don't assume he will leave her and that's the only answer. Maybe she will kick him out, maybe she won't. Just be prepared for a phone call from her. She is going to find out who you are eventually.

 

Are you prepared to exit his life forever? Delete him off of facebook?

 

There's no way he can protect you.. He now has to put his kids first, whatever age they are and focus on telling his wife about the A.

 

Sorry if I'm slow to respond - I'm having internet issues.

 

Well, it wouldn't be the first time I was prepared to exit his life forever. I've ended it other times with him but have always let him back into my life. I should never have done that as long as he was married. I wouldn't say that there's no way he could protect - he owns the company and he could protect me if that were a priority to him. He did tell his son that the affair was all him and no one else; and asked his son if he understood. I think he was saying that he didn't want his son to blame me or take it out on me. Of course, his son will but as long as xMM is there, I don't believe he'll let anything bad happen to me. I agree though that he doesn't need to be focusing on me and needs to deal with the nightmare of his family life now.

 

I'm not assuming that he'll leave her. I guess what I'm saying is that so much damage has been done to his marriage that I believe it's not fixable. Not many people can get past 8 yrs of lying. I'm just saying what I would do if I were in that situation but then again I wouldn't have cheated for 8 yrs. If someone made me feel that bad, I would leave them. He's so dead set on staying for the kids or whatever reason - probably because he doesn't want to deal with the whole headache and pain of divorce - that he probably will stay and never tell her. I think that's a bad decision but that's probably what will happen.

 

There's a webcam meeting in the morning with all the offices - it happens every Monday. I skipped it last week and I want to skip it again tomorrow. I know it's going to start raising questions if I keep doing that, and I don't think I'm going to be able to find a job quickly. What a freakin' mess.

[MissBee]

xMM isn't a serial cheater; it isn't that kind of thing. Still, his affair is hurtful to his kids. I understand that. There has never been a d-day but his wife knew years ago that he was attracted to me; and I think she knew about the thousands of emails between us. However, she told everybody that I was the one chasing him, calling him all the time, etc. Which wasn't true. I'm not blaming her but she definitely ignored the red flags. In truth, I don't know how she didn't know about the affair but if there was ever a d-day, I never knew about it.

 

Who knows why she didn't know. She could have ignored the flags, as people do when they love someone or want to maintain the status quo, or he could be a skilled liar. Some OW are shell-shocked when the MM has another OW or never leaves or they marry him and he cheats....most would say well you should have seen the flags when he was cheating with you etc. Yet, we know most people don't. You love the person, you want your situation to work out, you search for the positive and ignore the negatives...both OW and wives do this when they want this MM in their lives.

Edited June 11, 2012 by MissBee

[Angel1111]

I'm gonna be honest and say that if you're a true friend, then you'd want to give him space to work on this situation. He knows where to find you if he so chooses to leave his marriage and come be with you...but frankly, I don't see how him maintaining contact with you throughout this process will help the situation....esp if his kids/wife were to find out you were still talking. My dad recently lied to my mom about the same thing, she found out, we all found out and we all are looking at him as a huge, compulsive liar. No one believes anything he says at this point and it seems as though he is taking us all for idiots by apologizing then still maintaining contact. I'm sorry...but it's either/or.

 

Is his friendship with you more important than his family? It may be....as while he is doing everything in his power to maintain your friendship, where does that leave his family? How can he maintain both, when the reason his kids aren't happy with him, is because of this "friendship"? You can't lose true friends by focusing on your own mess....I've never lost a real friend that way. I'm not saying true friendship can't exist in an A, but like other romantically charged relationships, it's not just about friendship...it's often hard to subtract the friendship from the romance and the selfishness that romance can bring. The headiness that romance brings is quite different from the feelings you get with friends. I don't think it is possible to be friends with your affair partner if you choose not to divorce. He may ultimately choose that, and he should, if he is done with his marriage. But while it is all fresh, I think he has to traverse this road alone. A real friend will still be available when the dust settles.

 

We've only spoken twice since this happened just over a week ago. Once was when he told me that it happened, and then he called me a week later to tell me that he "hadn't fallen off the face of the earth", and told me about how his kids were taking the whole thing. That's when I told him that I was surprised that we would still communicate. I know exactly what you're saying and there isn't one thing that I can disagree with. I agree that him maintaining contact with me is just an insult to his family as long as he stays married. I think I just need to tell him. He is an incredibly smart man but he is in such denial about all this. It amazes me.

[MissBee]

We've only spoken twice since this happened just over a week ago. Once was when he told me that it happened, and then he called me a week later to tell me that he "hadn't fallen off the face of the earth", and told me about how his kids were taking the whole thing. That's when I told him that I was surprised that we would still communicate. I know exactly what you're saying and there isn't one thing that I can disagree with. I agree that him maintaining contact with me is just an insult to his family as long as he stays married. I think I just need to tell him. He is an incredibly smart man but he is in such denial about all this. It amazes me.

 

I can imagine...from my own experience with my dad, I've diagnosed him as insane It's not even funny, but it is, reason being is that the things he has done, he truly believes they make sense or are no problem at all and he is truly shocked that everyone is mad at him. Call it denial, stupidity or insanity...but he too is trying to maintain two incompatible things and really underestimates how horribly impossible and ridiculous it is and how insulting it is to everyone.

 

Your MM may be in the same boat....where he is really not quite grasping the gravity of the situation or is still applying some kind of logic that makes him think he can still communicate and give you play by plays while smoothing things over.

 

Sometimes we have to be strong for the people we care about when they can't for themselves...and sometimes that includes pushing them to stand on their own, even if it seems harsh. If you think he is in denial and you're surprised he contacted you....be the bigger, stronger person who tells him that you're going to give him space and that he shouldn't contact you and if he does, you can't respond until he has told his family and until he has figured out how he will proceed....then enforce that. If he needs a shoulder to lean on, he should find a therapist or a trusted friend who will hear him out and keep it confidential and be supportive. I know it is hard for you, as you care about him, and may have been his sounding board...but in this case, you play the role of both object of conflict and contention for his family and comfort for him...the two are incompatible roles so you have to opt out for now so he can at least begin to sort through his family rubble.

[Angel1111]

Who knows why she didn't know. She could have ignored the flags, as people do when they love someone or want to maintain the status quo, or he could be a skilled liar. Some OW are shell-shocked when the MM has another OW or never leaves or they marry him and he cheats....most would say well you should have seen the flags when he was cheating with you etc. Yet, we know most people don't. You love the person, you want your situation to work out, you search for the positive and ignore the negatives...both OW and wives do this when they want this MM in their lives.

 

Well, let me put it this way, I was once with a verbally abusive man and things got to a point where our marriage was really bad and I knew that there was a strong possibility that he was going to cheat - and he did. I honestly don't know how women can be so clueless but I guess it's better to kid yourself or, as you say, maybe he's a good liar. But now as someone who has no doubt participated in the destruction of their marriage, she has become a victim and all those other issues will be brushed aside by this huge breach of trust.

[MissBee]

Well, let me put it this way, I was once with a verbally abusive man and things got to a point where our marriage was really bad and I knew that there was a strong possibility that he was going to cheat - and he did. I honestly don't know how women can be so clueless but I guess it's better to kid yourself or, as you say, maybe he's a good liar. But now as someone who has no doubt participated in the destruction of their marriage, she has become a victim and all those other issues will be brushed aside by this huge breach of trust.

 

Kidding yourself/denial is a tool for psychological preservation. Sometimes people have to kid themselves until they can handle the reality. Most of us have done it at one point or another.

 

Whether or not she should have known is an interesting thing to bring up, as even if she did, what would you have her do? Call him out? She could have...maybe she should have....but then it's hard for me not to point it right back at the MM and say, why be passive aggressive and cheat and hope your spouse finds out instead of just telling them you're done or are unhappy? Why should a WS's cheating be turned into "Well as the BS maybe you should have known?" It totally shifts the blame. The WS you are no better....his BS is clueless and he's unscrupulous...doesn't make for a pretty family portrait in any light

[pureinheart]

Staying friends with xMM has caused new problems. We have been talking on fb for several months and somehow one of his kids figured out his password and has been reading our messages for a long time. His son also told his sister about the affair and now she won't even talk to her dad. We usually just talked about our day but sometimes talked about things from our past - which left no doubt that we had an affair. His son is hardly talking to him but has said that their mom must not find out. xMM has one other son but I don't think he knows...yet. I think this has so much potential for disaster by MM not telling his wife at this point, or just leaving her. This is very sad because he has been so close to his kids. They practically worshipped him. I'm so sorry I let him back into my life. We stopped talking for months and I should've left it that way. Needless to say, this has put me in a really bad position at work, especially now that his son is a VP at the company now. I'm currently looking for another job.

 

Does anyone have any experience on this, or any thoughts? xMM says that he doesn't think he'll ever get his daughter's trust back and he is heartbroken about it.

 

I know the politics of the workplace and know that "reasons" can be found concerning your termination, BUT you would have a good case based on this situation should you have to take it to the labor board.

 

If his son is the VP and a good VP, then he should consider your work record rather than personal issues, that IMO is the professional way to handle things...

 

It sounds to me like his kids put him on a pedestal, and because of this they may never accept him again, BUT this is his issue and yes it is sad. He is human...although I kinda wonder why he did not allow his kids to see other sides of him, it tells me he might not have been real with them. Who knows, they may forgive him though...I really hope they do for all of their sakes.

 

Angel, I am not sure if you remember my story, although I went through a similar thing with (now DM) MM's kids. I had been in NC for quite sometime and a "d-day" occured... he worked it so that he wasn't the bad guy and actually his kids were relieved when they finally divorced. One of his kids told me that that "they hate each other".

 

I'm kinda thinking that in this case he needs to tell his wife. At some point I think his daughter will tell her. Wow, if I were him though I'd be pissed that his daughter did that to begin with, that is quite nosey and unacceptable IMO.

 

I'm glad to see you Angel, I just wish it was under better circumstances:(

 

(((((((((hugs girl)))))))

[pureinheart]

Well, let me put it this way, I was once with a verbally abusive man and things got to a point where our marriage was really bad and I knew that there was a strong possibility that he was going to cheat - and he did. I honestly don't know how women can be so clueless but I guess it's better to kid yourself or, as you say, maybe he's a good liar. But now as someone who has no doubt participated in the destruction of their marriage, she has become a victim and all those other issues will be brushed aside by this huge breach of trust.

 

IMO, most women know when their husbands are having an EMA. Some just hope it will go away, and some wait for more evidence. I knew, but didn't care.

[KathyM]

I think many BS don't realize the warning signs of infidelity, so they really are clueless, or they feel that something is not right, but don't know what it is. In any case, you should go ahead and tell her the truth. She needs to be able to help her kids to emotionally process this very difficult time for them, and if she doesn't know the truth, then she's in no position to help them. Send her an Email or call her. You could remain anonymous if you wish. She has a right to know and she needs to be able to help her kids with this. I personally know several families who were traumatized by infidelity, and it is very hard on the kids. They feel betrayed and devastated, just like the BS does. The two sons in one of the families went into a tailspin when they found out their father had cheated. The one son turned to drugs to cope, and ended up with a drug problem, and the other son lost his ambition towards a goal he had been working on all his life, and just gave up on it. They now only see their father once a year, and only upon his request. With another family, the son felt so extremely betrayed and let down. He use to have so much respect and admiration for his father, and they were very close. After the affair was discovered, the son despised his father and wouldn't speak to him for three years. He is finally on the verge of having a minimal amount of contact with his father, but has never forgiven him for destroying their family. With a third family I know, only one of the sons found out. That couple managed to reconcile, but the son's respect and admiration for his father will be forever lost. It's too bad that some men will ruin the lives of their kids like this. I would suggest you tell the wife about this, and then have no further contact with this man. You don't need this bum in your life, and it's time to extract him, for your own sake. You don't need this drama in your life. Tell the wife, and then be done with that family. No further contact. For your own sake, as well as theirs.

[MissBee]

I think many BS don't realize the warning signs of infidelity, so they really are clueless, or they feel that something is not right, but don't know what it is. In any case, you should go ahead and tell her the truth. She needs to be able to help her kids to emotionally process this very difficult time for them, and if she doesn't know the truth, then she's in no position to help them. Send her an Email or call her. You could remain anonymous if you wish. She has a right to know and she needs to be able to help her kids with this. I personally know several families who were traumatized by infidelity, and it is very hard on the kids. They feel betrayed and devastated, just like the BS does. The two sons in one of the families went into a tailspin when they found out their father had cheated. The one son turned to drugs to cope, and ended up with a drug problem, and the other son lost his ambition towards a goal he had been working on all his life, and just gave up on it. They now only see their father once a year, and only upon his request. With another family, the son felt so extremely betrayed and let down. He use to have so much respect and admiration for his father, and they were very close. After the affair was discovered, the son despised his father and wouldn't speak to him for three years. He is finally on the verge of having a minimal amount of contact with his father, but has never forgiven him for destroying their family. With a third family I know, only one of the sons found out. That couple managed to reconcile, but the son's respect and admiration for his father will be forever lost. It's too bad that some men will ruin the lives of their kids like this. I would suggest you tell the wife about this, and then have no further contact with this man. You don't need this bum in your life, and it's time to extract him, for your own sake. You don't need this drama in your life. Tell the wife, and then be done with that family. No further contact. For your own sake, as well as theirs.

 

I don't think Angel should be the one to tell. I think he should. Her telling could be interpreted in all kinds of ways. And the truth is, she feels an allegiance to this MM...rightly or wrongly, so she won't do this. I wouldn't do it either. His kids already know the truth, so if they want to tell their mom, they can and the MM also has to weigh it in light of pressure from his kids. I don't think it will remain a secret much longer because his kids know. I don't think Angel should swoop in and be the one to tell.

 

Him admitting it himself or the kids telling mom seems like a better deal than for the woman whom your husband has been with for 8 years, and whom you've previously accused of chasing him being the one to ring you up or email you. I frankly would feel even more upset and insulted by this and would feel it disingenuous of her to be shagging my man for 8 years and now having an attack of conscience and deciding to phone me up or shoot me a note. (Sorry to put it that way Angel, I'm just thinking of how I'd feel in that situation and am not specifically talking about you).

[Angel1111]

I just sent him a goodbye email and deleted him from my facebook. I know it was the right thing to do but I'm crying my heart out. I will miss him so much.

[MissBee]

I just sent him a goodbye email and deleted him from my facebook. I know it was the right thing to do but I'm crying my heart out. I will miss him so much.

 

Awww Angel ((hugs))

 

You did do the right thing, and believe me, the right thing doesn't always feel good.

 

It's a win win for you. He is in a world of mess that he must sort through and you being in the picture may make that a lot harder. If he smooths things over and reconciles then tries to restart the A, then you'll know for yourself what you need to do, since you'll have had your own space to clear your head.