getting over myself

[hurts_so_bad]

Did you get my PM?

 

Hi DOT...Actually I did get it and thank you...I was planning on responding but I havent really been on since tonight. I just want to be happy about me....Im pretty much over her but not over how I am feeling like less of a man...Whats he got I dont in the sack...That sort of thing...Its really screwing with my mind. Like my response to sunny, Everyone has told me happiness comes from inside...I understand that but how? No one can seem to tell me a direct answer on how to build the happiness..The confidence. \

 

I told a friend of mine how I am feeling...I told him it just gets me nuts to think this guy is giving her something in the sack thet I wasnt. He said, WHO CARES! He is probaly right...But I cant seem to get it out of me...Its all about me now and working on my happiness! If i could pass this hump and feel good about my abilities I would be fine...I have everything else to be confident about

[dreamingoftigers]

Hi DOT...Actually I did get it and thank you...I was planning on responding but I havent really been on since tonight. I just want to be happy about me....Im pretty much over her but not over how I am feeling like less of a man...Whats he got I dont in the sack...That sort of thing...Its really screwing with my mind. Like my response to sunny, Everyone has told me happiness comes from inside...I understand that but how? No one can seem to tell me a direct answer on how to build the happiness..The confidence. \

 

I told a friend of mine how I am feeling...I told him it just gets me nuts to think this guy is giving her something in the sack thet I wasnt. He said, WHO CARES! He is probaly right...But I cant seem to get it out of me...Its all about me now and working on my happiness! If i could pass this hump and feel good about my abilities I would be fine...I have everything else to be confident about

 

I can actually totally and completely relate to what you are saying.

 

Sometimes what I have found though is that when we get depressed etc about stuff that seems to be a huge, immoveable object to us that when we start focusing on some of the "bigger stuff" like volunteering or whatever etc. that we realize that that stabbing insecurity isn't accurate or what defined us in the first place.

 

Sex is such a personal, deep, basic and primal part of ourselves that it's so easy to feel attacked there or manipulated through sex. In My Personal Experience, it's usually a symptom of something else entirely. Just so much of our being is directed in that area, that often it hits there instead of its actual target.

 

I honestly think some EMDR therapy might help uncover what's underneath that. Seriously.

 

You also know in your head that sex wasn't what kaiboshed the marriage, but it just hasn't registered in your heart yet. Oh yeah, and sex is of course that one area that you can't entirely validate yourself on. So until you either register that it isn't/wasn't that and/or someone else validates you sexually, you'll kind of feel at the mercy of it.

 

She still dating him?

[dreamingoftigers]

! If i could pass this hump

 

nicely put...

[hurts_so_bad]

I can actually totally and completely relate to what you are saying.

 

Sometimes what I have found though is that when we get depressed etc about stuff that seems to be a huge, immoveable object to us that when we start focusing on some of the "bigger stuff" like volunteering or whatever etc. that we realize that that stabbing insecurity isn't accurate or what defined us in the first place.

 

Sex is such a personal, deep, basic and primal part of ourselves that it's so easy to feel attacked there or manipulated through sex. In My Personal Experience, it's usually a symptom of something else entirely. Just so much of our being is directed in that area, that often it hits there instead of its actual target.

 

I honestly think some EMDR therapy might help uncover what's underneath that. Seriously.

 

You also know in your head that sex wasn't what kaiboshed the marriage, but it just hasn't registered in your heart yet. Oh yeah, and sex is of course that one area that you can't entirely validate yourself on. So until you either register that it isn't/wasn't that and/or someone else validates you sexually, you'll kind of feel at the mercy of it.

 

She still dating him?

 

As far as I know I think so...Thats what gets me though...You give up a marriage with a man who was there for you 24/7 (maybe not always, you know my story) to be with some jackass thats not. I think she may only see him a few times a week if that. I dont know exacty and I know I let my mind wonder but I think this guy is dating a girl he lives with too...I did my research at one point and called what I thought might be his house. I was going to tell his girlfriend everything! Turned out it was his mothers house. I played it off as I was a old friend from high school trying to get in touch with him. She was smart though and wouldnt give me his home number. She then said oH he is doing well.. He just moved in with his girlfriend...

I highly doubt this 27 yr old guy is going to leave his younger girlfriend for my wife! My wife is 40 yrs old and had 2 heart surgeries ticks from her heart valve and has 3 of MY kids...She cant have kids for him which Im sure at one point he will want.

I think this guy is just playing her for a fool...Thats the thing that gets me..What has he got thats so great that you would lower yourself just to be with him instead of me?

Another thing is it appears they are on and off at times..Thats what makes me think he is still dating his girlfriend. When things appear good my wife is no longer on the dating site. Then all of a sudden she will be back on for a few weeks, then disappear again... I know she went on a few dates from the site too which I really dont care about but it just adds validate my point that he is not giving her what she wants as far as a relationship. If thats the case why bother? Why is he so great that you leave me and except what he wants to give you when he wants to give it to you?

Makes me feel like sh@t!

[hinatticus]

Hey hurts

 

For your quest to find happiness, check out pathwaytohappiness.com

 

Check out the free audio podcasts. I listen to the podcasts every night and I've done the four free sessions. Still looking into buying the whole series. This guy is a student of Don Miguel Ruiz.

 

Anyway, given my situation, I am surprisingly happy and well adjusted. Don't get me wrong though, I still have moments of weakness.

 

A simple exercise is list every day something you're grateful for. Start small and list everything!!! Example. Be grateful you have eyes, legs, food, a working heart and lungs etc. then be grateful for the cook who made you dinner at the restaurant, the server who brought it to you, your boss for providing you a job, the construction workers that built the restaurant etc. you see, there are countless things to be grateful for. Happiness is an emotion that comes from love. Fear clouds love, get rid of fear and let love rule and you'll be happier.

 

Easier said than done, but seriously check that website out!!! Now!!!

[hurts_so_bad]

Hey hurts

 

For your quest to find happiness, check out pathwaytohappiness.com

 

Check out the free audio podcasts. I listen to the podcasts every night and I've done the four free sessions. Still looking into buying the whole series. This guy is a student of Don Miguel Ruiz.

 

Anyway, given my situation, I am surprisingly happy and well adjusted. Don't get me wrong though, I still have moments of weakness.

 

A simple exercise is list every day something you're grateful for. Start small and list everything!!! Example. Be grateful you have eyes, legs, food, a working heart and lungs etc. then be grateful for the cook who made you dinner at the restaurant, the server who brought it to you, your boss for providing you a job, the construction workers that built the restaurant etc. you see, there are countless things to be grateful for. Happiness is an emotion that comes from love. Fear clouds love, get rid of fear and let love rule and you'll be happier.

 

Easier said than done, but seriously check that website out!!! Now!!!

thanks fir the website.

I will be sure to check it ou. Sounds alot like the three books i recently read. The secret the magic and the power. The secret is all about the laws of attraction...the magic teachea to be greatful and the piwer teaxhes the power if love

[hinatticus]

thanks fir the website.

I will be sure to check it ou. Sounds alot like the three books i recently read. The secret the magic and the power. The secret is all about the laws of attraction...the magic teachea to be greatful and the piwer teaxhes the power if love

 

I don't know if I'm a fan of the secret. It's not like thinking positive about not getting stuck in traffic is gonna bring that about. I like to think that having a positive attitude "attracts" positive behaviour from others. It's like when my ex is happy I'm happy. The opposite is true too, if I'm pissed it will draw out her negative emotions, she'll get mad and defensive.

 

The website is full of usefull material. The main point though is getting rid of your false core beliefs. I really think you'll find the website helpful.

 

Good luck man.

[worldgonewrong]

A simple exercise is list every day something you're grateful for. Start small and list everything!!!

 

Hinatticus NAILED it.

In my experience, truly, gratitude is everything. The wheels of the universe will begin to spin differently for you the minute you step out of the 'I need' line and into the 'Thank you' line (to paraphrase a writer who originally said that). When gratitude seeps into your bones, from the minute you wake up til you fall asleep, it changes your perception of life AND it changes your receptivity to positive things that are coming your way. A slow but definable fluid give-and-take begins to roll along. I mean this.

It doesn't mean negative stuff won't happen - but your gratitude in general will over-ride so much of it and/or carry you through the storms.

[hurts_so_bad]

Hinatticus NAILED it.

In my experience, truly, gratitude is everything. The wheels of the universe will begin to spin differently for you the minute you step out of the 'I need' line and into the 'Thank you' line (to paraphrase a writer who originally said that). When gratitude seeps into your bones, from the minute you wake up til you fall asleep, it changes your perception of life AND it changes your receptivity to positive things that are coming your way. A slow but definable fluid give-and-take begins to roll along. I mean this.

It doesn't mean negative stuff won't happen - but your gratitude in general will over-ride so much of it and/or carry you through the storms.

 

I agree 100% and I am definitely trying though its hard at this point in my life with the way I feel about myself after this break up..She really took my self esteem, confidence and put it in the gutter! You know my song WGW...You know I damaged my marriage badly but I still cant get over her leaving and dropping a now 18 year marriage for some jerk off...Makes me feel like he is the better man...Tough pill to swallow and think positive and be grateful! I do agree and hope I can get there soon!

[hurts_so_bad]

Hey hurts

 

For your quest to find happiness, check out pathwaytohappiness.com

 

Check out the free audio podcasts. I listen to the podcasts every night and I've done the four free sessions. Still looking into buying the whole series. This guy is a student of Don Miguel Ruiz.

 

Anyway, given my situation, I am surprisingly happy and well adjusted. Don't get me wrong though, I still have moments of weakness.

 

A simple exercise is list every day something you're grateful for. Start small and list everything!!! Example. Be grateful you have eyes, legs, food, a working heart and lungs etc. then be grateful for the cook who made you dinner at the restaurant, the server who brought it to you, your boss for providing you a job, the construction workers that built the restaurant etc. you see, there are countless things to be grateful for. Happiness is an emotion that comes from love. Fear clouds love, get rid of fear and let love rule and you'll be happier.

 

Easier said than done, but seriously check that website out!!! Now!!!

 

Just went to the website..All I see is site info and things like that but no site. If you have more info on the direct site please pass it along..Thanks!

[hurts_so_bad]

ok found it...Ther eis a lot of sh@t on that page! Where to start? Where do you suggest?

[hinatticus]

ok found it...Ther eis a lot of sh@t on that page! Where to start? Where do you suggest?

 

Start with the free audio podcasts. There should be a link at the top. If you have time, if you sign up you get the first 4 sessions free. That's what I did.

[hurts_so_bad]

Start with the free audio podcasts. There should be a link at the top. If you have time, if you sign up you get the first 4 sessions free. That's what I did.

 

Thanks I did! very interesting and I did sign up for the 4 free sessions...Im just curious though, I get the whole thing about being greatful and finding things to be grateful about...I get that...I have tons of things to be greatful for...My home, my kids, my parents, my health, my friends, and a ton of other stuff... Thing i dont get is how being grateful is going to end my insecurities....Like I said I have a ton of things to be grateful for but how does being grateful pretain to what I think of myself in my head? This whole entire experience has left me feeling like a total loser and its already 9 months! I still feel as if this guy is giving her something in the sack that I wasnt. I know I shouldnt give a rats @ss but I do..How wierd is that?

[hinatticus]

Thanks I did! very interesting and I did sign up for the 4 free sessions...Im just curious though, I get the whole thing about being greatful and finding things to be grateful about...I get that...I have tons of things to be greatful for...My home, my kids, my parents, my health, my friends, and a ton of other stuff... Thing i dont get is how being grateful is going to end my insecurities....Like I said I have a ton of things to be grateful for but how does being grateful pretain to what I think of myself in my head? This whole entire experience has left me feeling like a total loser and its already 9 months! I still feel as if this guy is giving her something in the sack that I wasnt. I know I shouldnt give a rats @ss but I do..How wierd is that?

 

Being grateful is just the start, but a good start. I'm not sure exactly how they relate but for me being grateful and actually feeling good about being grateful is a start to actually feeling good about myself. It's been 9 months for me too and I did some really shameful things during our relationship. And try to find things really small that you may have taken for granted. The ability to walk or hear music or nature. Your ability to breathe and see and smell. The fact you have two arms etc.

 

Browse through the free audio podcasts and start with things you have trouble with. Core beliefs, insecurities, anger, emotional reactions etc and then move on to other podcasts that don't really relate to you. I found that by listening to all the podcasts it's helped me find my inner peace. Listen to the podcast about free will.

 

I think for your insecurities you need to let go or change some of your core beliefs and work on your emotional reactions. This guy teaches you how to become neutral and not react to emotions. It's one thing to put out a fire when it's blazing, he teaches you how to not have a fire. Basically no emotion equals no reaction. So for you, if you get rid of your beliefs about being inadequate you won't have an emotional reaction. You'll be neutral. Sort of like not giving a sh^t. Usually stuff you don't care about you don't react to.

 

Oh, it's one thing to know things intellectually, you have to practice these things daily. It's about creating new neural pathways. Basically when you're on autopilot(old core beliefs) you're not feeling so good. You can make a conscious effort and feel better temporarily, but the more you practice, you'll start to notice that your new beliefs will become your new autopilot.

 

Let me know how it goes.

Edited November 14, 2012 by hinatticus

[hurts_so_bad]

Hey guys im back from a short time off... Things were getting a little better for me....I have been working out again, Doing yoga in my home, reading, and going to AA when I have the time. So my mind has been pretty occupied and I have been feeling a bit better working on myself.

Today however, is a different story!

 

I need to talk and need some advice. Just when I think things are getting better they get crazy again! Everything is finalized as far as the seperation agreement. We went to the lawyer last week and I gave the ex her share of the home to buy her out. She had gotten her apartment and seems to have settled in right now.

 

The agreement was I buy her out of my home for half its value in equity being the other half is mine. We also agreed on joint custody of 2 kids and she only wanted partial custody for my youngest which means I have to give her $600 a month instead of around $1300 a month...Yes for 1 child! How ridiculous is that! Anyway, My 2 daughters are too live with her with me getting them every other weekend and my son stays with me fulltime.. My ex works later then I do so the agreement was that the girls get dropped off at my home (cause there is no one to watch them at her place) after school till mom comes to get them here...

 

Here is the thing thats bothering me...My ex gets out of work anywhere between 5-7pm....Its two nights in a row now that she has picked the girls up around 8pm...Her job is 10 minutes away...You know whats going threw my head right? Im being a baby sitter for her while she is out screwing her scummy BF!

 

Tell me am I being over dramatic? Am I being an a@@hole? Cause if I am I'd rather hear that then to think Im being made a sucker! Or am I Honestly, getting screwed here? Cause it certainly feels like it! I didnt want this and still love her so maybe its my emotions playing a roll in my thoughts. I dont know...

 

I look at it this way though.. Mutual custody basically means we both support them BUT! She is still getting $600 a month for my youngest. My son lives with me full time even on weekends. So on her weekends to have the girls I still have my son. He is 18 so he pretty much does his own thing but do you see what Im getting at here? I feel like every other weekend she is scott free while even on my free weekends I have my son.

 

Doesnt seem fair to me but maybe I am going with my emotions again and just dont like the idea of her having all this free time especially when I am paying support for 1 when she is here till 8pm every night!

 

Friends have told me she was very easy on me cause she could have lived in this home till my youngest 10 year old daughter was 21 with custody for all 3 while I slept on my moms coach! So after writting that I guess I didnt get such a bad deal! lol...Still feel ****ty and screwed in a way!

 

I am just so upset and pissed off! It shouldnt have been this way...

[2sunny]

You can say NO - and SHE can hire and pay for a babysitter - like most single parents do when they are working.

Let HER figure it out - you can say no...

[hurts_so_bad]

Thanks Sunny! any other opinions out there?

[standtall]

Well hurts, I think that your looking at your ex wife's behavior the wrong way.

 

 

 

 

My 2 daughters are too live with her with me getting them every other weekend and my son stays with me fulltime.. My ex works later then I do so the agreement was that the girls get dropped off at my home (cause there is no one to watch them at her place) after school till mom comes to get them here...

 

Here is the thing thats bothering me...My ex gets out of work anywhere between 5-7pm....Its two nights in a row now that she has picked the girls up around 8pm...Her job is 10 minutes away...You know whats going threw my head right? Im being a baby sitter for her while she is out screwing her scummy BF!

 

You should be viewing that 8PM pickup of your daughters as an extra opportunity to spend time with them as a parent. Many divorced dads would kill to get that no-hassle, extra time with their children. Read some wrecks, like jaymz situation. Stop thinking the worst about what your ex is doing, and take advantage of the situation and seize the day.

[hurts_so_bad]

Well hurts, I think that your looking at your ex wife's behavior the wrong way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You should be viewing that 8PM pickup of your daughters as an extra opportunity to spend time with them as a parent. Many divorced dads would kill to get that no-hassle, extra time with their children. Read some wrecks, like jaymz situation. Stop thinking the worst about what your ex is doing, and take advantage of the situation and seize the day.

 

Thanks standtall

 

Thats what a friend of mine told me and I know you guys are both right....Its not easy with the mental images still after 9 months and the fact I still love her! It gets me nuts and makes me feel like he is better then me thats why she left. I dont know if you saw my other thread (lets keep it real about sex) If you have, you will see how insecure this whole situation left me. I feel like I maybe could have done something better in the bedroom to prevent her from leaving and now she is getting it so she is not turning back.

It disgusts me! mostly about me!

I know I screwed the marriage up for years but just cant get a handle on thats why she left me....It always boils down to the bedroom! I have been doing everything everyone on here recommended. AA, working out, therapist, reading, everything! I have read the secret, the magic, the power, tantric sex, and I am now on a book called the power of now..I even recently started meditating!

 

This morning I was meditating and just burst out into tears! I felt like such a ******* thinking full well she isnt crying over this and has some jer4koff to be with while I have no one yet!

 

With everything I have my house, my kids, my job, my health, everything I still feel lost and not good enough! Sucks to feel this way. It really does! I am very afraid that even when I do find someone this insecurity I have is still going to be lingering and hurt my next love life.

 

Another friend of mine said "It wasnt the sex *******! She just doesnt like you anymore! Which put it into some perspective but a day leter I was right back to it was the sex!

 

I just keep torturing myself while she is moving on and its driving me nuts! Im a good looking guy with a nice build and a great personality! When the F am I gonna find someone or feel good with myself just as I am?

[hinatticus]

Hey hurts.

 

I feel your pain. I just found out my ex has been dating a guy for the past month. I know what you mean about not feeling good enough. I think after enough time has passed, we'll eventual believe we are good enough. At least that what I keep telling myself.

 

Good luck man.

[dreamingoftigers]

Thanks standtall

 

Thats what a friend of mine told me and I know you guys are both right....Its not easy with the mental images still after 9 months and the fact I still love her! It gets me nuts and makes me feel like he is better then me thats why she left. I dont know if you saw my other thread (lets keep it real about sex) If you have, you will see how insecure this whole situation left me. I feel like I maybe could have done something better in the bedroom to prevent her from leaving and now she is getting it so she is not turning back.

It disgusts me! mostly about me!

I know I screwed the marriage up for years but just cant get a handle on thats why she left me....It always boils down to the bedroom! I have been doing everything everyone on here recommended. AA, working out, therapist, reading, everything! I have read the secret, the magic, the power, tantric sex, and I am now on a book called the power of now..I even recently started meditating!

 

This morning I was meditating and just burst out into tears! I felt like such a ******* thinking full well she isnt crying over this and has some jer4koff to be with while I have no one yet!

 

With everything I have my house, my kids, my job, my health, everything I still feel lost and not good enough! Sucks to feel this way. It really does! I am very afraid that even when I do find someone this insecurity I have is still going to be lingering and hurt my next love life.

 

Another friend of mine said "It wasnt the sex *******! She just doesnt like you anymore! Which put it into some perspective but a day leter I was right back to it was the sex!

 

I just keep torturing myself while she is moving on and its driving me nuts! Im a good looking guy with a nice build and a great personality! When the F am I gonna find someone or feel good with myself just as I am?

 

Seriously dude, even if it was the bedroom stuff.....(it totally isn't, duh) she just took the first slightly-credible exit from the marriage. It wouldn't have mattered if dude was a sex god or a sexual handicap, somehow he could click with her ENOUGH for her to feel safe enough to leave the marriage and pursue it. Maybe she only needed a matchstick of support to leave the screwed marriage. Maybe that tiny piece is all that she needed.

 

But IF it was the bedroom stuff (which it WASN'T) Than you should know that women are more reactive to touch, verbal cues and responsiveness in the bedroom than just looks etc. So keep reading up or whatever. I hear that 50 Shades of Gray (Grey?) is quite the manual (I'm not planning on reading a bunch of glorified mainstream porn myself, but to each his or her own).

 

But know that sexual stuff for women is generally a series of behaviours, which gives your gender as a whole a leg up compared to ours, (which must provide XYZ visual for our guys). And we all know that behaviour can be changed.

[hurts_so_bad]

hey DOT how r u? Nice to hear from ya...Truth is, Ive always been insecure it that department. Things said threw the years by ex's that I actually took the wrong way and some not so satifying nights now and again when it didnt last that long that felt I could have done much better.

 

When I was thirty I was taking karate and meditating. Just prior I was gaining a few pounds and always wanted to take karate so I did. Our sex life became unbelievable! I did what I wanted in bed when I wanted to do it...I had control and was as secure as the ground we walk on!

 

When we moved upstate from the city I quit karate. Threw the years I gained like 30 pounds and Im a smoker so it seemded I would get winded after a while but i always made sure she was taken care of in other ways...

 

I just feel like I could have done more! Staying out of the bars might have been a good start but I always feel this victim role! Like all the sh@t I did would have been overlooked if I had been better in bed...I am tired of feeling this way about myself thats why I am sorting help.

 

50 Shade of grey? No thanks! Dont need to read someone elses fiction and make it a reality in my mind to make me feel worse!

 

I go threw these phases from time to time and it helps me to write about it on here and get input so please dont be mad about it..You guys know how it is living emotion to emotion!

 

Right now I feel Im just going to move forward being the best of the best I can be and in the end make her realize what she lost but mostly for me and my confidence!

 

A person can go to a therapist all they want (not saying I am going to quit) but to me it takes actions NOT WORDS to change your perspective of yourself. Actions speak louder then words! The day I am able to feel good about me and my performance is the day I wont care about what anyone else thinks! It takes actual action to do this though...Sitting on my ass, smoking and not being in better shape and state of mind isnt going to do it!

 

I need to quit smoking and make sure I get my a@@ to the gym every night! Problem is I have to rely on other to get there due to my license situation. Im still waiting but its going to happen soon. Then I will be free to do what I want when I want and truely work on me.

[aMguilts]

Thanks standtall

 

Thats what a friend of mine told me and I know you guys are both right....Its not easy with the mental images still after 9 months and the fact I still love her! It gets me nuts and makes me feel like he is better then me thats why she left. I dont know if you saw my other thread (lets keep it real about sex) If you have, you will see how insecure this whole situation left me. I feel like I maybe could have done something better in the bedroom to prevent her from leaving and now she is getting it so she is not turning back.

It disgusts me! mostly about me!

I know I screwed the marriage up for years but just cant get a handle on thats why she left me....It always boils down to the bedroom! I have been doing everything everyone on here recommended. AA, working out, therapist, reading, everything! I have read the secret, the magic, the power, tantric sex, and I am now on a book called the power of now..I even recently started meditating!

 

This morning I was meditating and just burst out into tears! I felt like such a ******* thinking full well she isnt crying over this and has some jer4koff to be with while I have no one yet!

 

With everything I have my house, my kids, my job, my health, everything I still feel lost and not good enough! Sucks to feel this way. It really does! I am very afraid that even when I do find someone this insecurity I have is still going to be lingering and hurt my next love life.

 

Another friend of mine said "It wasnt the sex *******! She just doesnt like you anymore! Which put it into some perspective but a day leter I was right back to it was the sex!

 

I just keep torturing myself while she is moving on and its driving me nuts! Im a good looking guy with a nice build and a great personality! When the F am I gonna find someone or feel good with myself just as I am?

hi hurts so bad

 

You may well be doing `what everyone on here suggests`? You are torturing yourself with what SHE is doing.

From what you have said , you have got, this vision in your mind that she is having the greatest sex EVER and she is with someone that is just the most perfect guy on earth and she will do anything?

Complete crap!!

 

Flip the coin. I cant remember who posted saying the `extra hour` you get to spend with your kids is ok, But they are right, Flip it again. When she is `late`, tell her to come back an HOUR later, cos they are just in the middle of dinner( or a game, or anything)

Dictate , don`t be dictated too.

aMillion

[aMguilts]

so quit smoking.

You don`t need a gym.

you lost your licience? so get a bike. I cycle 20 miles(round trip) on my working day

Been reading your thread the last 10 mins or so.

You seem to be fixated on what she`s doing rather than yourself?

 

I understand your loss and pain but it`ll only get easier when you let go of it.

Make sense?

Don`t know about you , personally, i hate this time of year!

Everyone is `expected` to be `happy` JUST because it`s christmas!?

I`m slowly beginning to see it doesn`t matter what time of the year it is, it comes from within

 

So forget your wife. going to see your kids over christmas?

aMillion

[2sunny]

Step 12 - start doing that one a LOT!

 

You think too much of how YOU feel all the time! The program is designed so that you think of helping others - so that you don't sit there thinking of how YOU FEEL 24/7!

 

I don't see evidence of a god in your life... YOU are still running the show!

 

 

Me, me, me! When you start thinking of yourself less and OTHERS MORE - THAT is when you have a chance in hell of becoming happy!

 

You've got so much work to do - get BUSY!