getting over myself

[aMguilts]

Our situations are similar except for the fact that I was the scrrw up and she wasnt...she moved on from me...I accept that for the reasons given. But since yhe breakup I have this overwhelming feeling of inadequrcy in yhe bedroom that I cannot seem to get over that is whats killing me!

 

i guess that this post was meant at me?

 

But yeah they are different.

 

I moved on!!!

The only hang up you have is that you cant`t even live with yourself, let alone being or even thinking of being with ANYONE else.

 

you`ve already said you dont want your wife anymore?

So man up and YOU file for divorce

 

aM

[2sunny]

If I'd been married to a man that racked up that kind of baggage and made my life so difficult by me being angry at him for most of the M - I'd never go back.

 

She may be realizing that even if she loved or loves you - you've done so much damage to her over the years that she may never trust you not to cause more pain.

 

Seriously, amends (setting things right - change) may be that you leave her alone so she can be happy now!

 

Do u see me knocking down her door? No..

Besides what does this have to fo with anything I.asked? Thanks for making me feel so much better!

 

It isn't to make you feel bad... It's just pointing out the obvious - some people just get to a breaking point where they will never go back - no matter what.

 

It has to do with accepting things as they are.

 

To cease fighting anyone and anything - and move to acceptance is part of the big book.

 

You continue to "fight" these circumstances = hand them too much power.

 

You can control that part.

 

I still suggest intensive counseling - you need guidance with your internal struggle.

[ataloss8270]

thats ur story...mine looks better then she has in ten.years and was never a bitch...so.guess u are the lucky one! For me.its gonna be hard to.fimd a comparison or someone better

when it comes to that dept...

 

HSB its not always about the way they look, but what's inside that matters. And you can't keep thinking the reason these ladies have left your life is because of the bedroom activities. I have had many women tell me that when they are mad at a man the last thing they want to do is sleep with him, no matter how good he is in bed. Maybe you need to look at the way you treated them, not the way you pleased them. But I don't know you personally so please don't take that as a personal attack

 

And remember when a women leaves a man she normally down grades. Mine did, she thinks this guy she's with is greatest thing sense sliced bread. But he has a crappy nowhere job and make half of what I make. I just know that he was at the right place at the right time with the right words. And it doesn't effect my ego. Because I know I'm good in bed. I was just a crappy husband to her. But I will learn from my mistakes and improve myself for the next great thing that comes along.

[aMguilts]

HSB its not always about the way they look, but what's inside that matters. And you can't keep thinking the reason these ladies have left your life is because of the bedroom activities. I have had many women tell me that when they are mad at a man the last thing they want to do is sleep with him, no matter how good he is in bed. Maybe you need to look at the way you treated them, not the way you pleased them. But I don't know you personally so please don't take that as a personal attack

 

And remember when a women leaves a man she normally down grades. Mine did, she thinks this guy she's with is greatest thing sense sliced bread. But he has a crappy nowhere job and make half of what I make. I just know that he was at the right place at the right time with the right words. And it doesn't effect my ego. Because I know I'm good in bed. I was just a crappy husband to her. But I will learn from my mistakes and improve myself for the next great thing that comes along.

 

No jeez you couldn`t be MORE WRONG!!!!

 

 

women don`t `down grade` !!

 

They will just find someone else that makes them happy!!

 

Even if the guy `beats` them to a pulp every single night, but they are happy, thats all that matters

 

For the love of GOD

HELLO????

 

 

IS there ANYONE THERE???

Any males left on here with at least a sack?

 

So she LEFT YOU... for WHATEVER reason... you really going to keep hanging on to everything she says or does?#

 

ataloss, at least have the balls to say what you want

good for you

aM

[hurts_so_bad]

no mquilts the post wasnt meant for u..It was a response to gunnts post.....Divorce isnt the way to go right now. I dont have the money...Ive thought about it but have other bills I need to pay. Say what you will but up until you know about getting divorced in NYC!!!!!Its a god damn nightmare with paperwork up the @ss that no one especially not me has the time or understanding to do without a lawyer without the risk of giving away all you own! I already have a legal seperation which is the divorce agreement. It would be like another 4 grand for my lawyer to represent me in the divorce. I will do so when Im good and comfortable and have the cash.

 

My only issue is my ego and anxiety with feeling inadequate in bed, which I read earlier many many men have after divorce or seperation or whom have been cheated on. That is my only hang up! If I can find a way of putting that behind me then I would be ok...But its a hell of a task that I guess will just take time.

[hurts_so_bad]

HSB its not always about the way they look, but what's inside that matters. And you can't keep thinking the reason these ladies have left your life is because of the bedroom activities. I have had many women tell me that when they are mad at a man the last thing they want to do is sleep with him, no matter how good he is in bed. Maybe you need to look at the way you treated them, not the way you pleased them. But I don't know you personally so please don't take that as a personal attack

 

And remember when a women leaves a man she normally down grades. Mine did, she thinks this guy she's with is greatest thing sense sliced bread. But he has a crappy nowhere job and make half of what I make. I just know that he was at the right place at the right time with the right words. And it doesn't effect my ego. Because I know I'm good in bed. I was just a crappy husband to her. But I will learn from my mistakes and improve myself for the next great thing that comes along.

 

Question is? Why did they downgrade? There has to be something that hooked them to this new guy? Could it possibly be the sex? What the F@@k other reason would a women leave a decent man to get with a loser? I dont think any women would want to admitt it because it would not look good on their part and I definitely dont think any man would want to being they would look like less of a man...

[2sunny]

For some women - it's not about the sex.

 

Most women want companionship and intimacy. Which includes talking WITH her, romancing her, listening to her needs. Sharing and being real - and vulnerable. Women also - at times - like being cared for and knowing that they are being taken care of - and thought of with love and passion.

 

Women don't want another child to raise. They don't want a guy out creating more problems (DWI's) and legal problems. Wondering if they may kill someone while driving drunk every time they leave the house takes a toll on a woman's respect and tolerance for any man they my have loved. They get angry!

 

And some women just want to be left the F alone if they had problems with men in their past making more headaches for them.

 

Peace of mind is nice... Did you give your W peace of mind while you were together or did you steal her peace of mind through the years?

Edited January 18, 2013 by 2sunny

[hurts_so_bad]

For some women - it's not about the sex.

 

Most women want companionship and intimacy. Which includes talking WITH her, romancing her, listening to her needs. Sharing and being real - and vulnerable. Women also - at times - like being cared for and knowing that they are being taken care of - and thought of with love and passion.

 

Women don't want another child to raise. They don't want a guy out creating more problems (DWI's) and legal problems. Wondering if they may kill someone while driving drunk every time they leave the house takes a toll on a woman's respect and tolerance for any man they my have loved. They get angry!

 

And some women just want to be left the F alone if they had problems with men in their past making more headaches for them.

 

Peace of mind is nice... Did you give your W peace of mind while you were together or did you steal her peace of mind through the years?

 

Honestly I probably stole alot of it to tell you the truth...I get it. I do! but Why deal with a loser who isnt going to offer you anything...I may seem to you guys like the biggest JO and I have been no doubt but where there were bad things there were also good! Short story for you...I have a small ebay business on top of my full time job as an electrician... I buy and sell items I find at garage sales, estate sales, auctions etc...One time I purchased a all diamong 14k gold tennis bracelet for $200...The women knew it was worth more but just wanted $200 for it...

 

I brought it home and showed my wife the bracelet and her eyes popped out of her head! She said it was beautful! I asked her to have it appraised while I was at work the next day.

 

I got home from work and she told me it was appraised for $3000! and handed it to me. I said, Thank you but no thank you and gave it back to her...She said whats this? I said its for you..I saw the way your eyes popped out of your head so its for you...Thats the kind of man I am. Where the was tons of BS there were also very very nice things I did in my marriage too!

 

BTW...I saw her at the gym tonight. I said hello, we talked for about 30 seconds on how she quit and I quit smoking..I said ok have fun with your workout and walked away. She lost too much weight!

[ataloss8270]

Question is? Why did they downgrade? There has to be something that hooked them to this new guy? Could it possibly be the sex? What the F@@k other reason would a women leave a decent man to get with a loser? I dont think any women would want to admitt it because it would not look good on their part and I definitely dont think any man would want to being they would look like less of a man...

 

Because only a loser will take advantage of a women in a vulnerable spot. He will manipulate her, let her tell him all her problems "listen", tell her everything she want to hear "romance her", and not look needy because he really doesn't care. And he will use her for his needs and then throw her under the bus when he is done. Most good men would tell her to try and work on her marriage and to stick with her husband if he was a good man. But this is not true in all situations. And this is IMO

 

And stop putting sex in the equation. Life isn't all about sex.

Edited January 18, 2013 by ataloss8270

[2sunny]

My exH did MANY, MANY wonderful things for me, with me.

 

But at the end of every day when I had "to wonder" about things - I ended it!

 

You see - every time he went on a business trip - i wondered. Every time it took him more than an hour to go run an errand - I wondered. Every time he golfed all day - I wondered.

 

I was happy then. Even though I wondered if he was cheating.

 

Then I found evidence he was cheating. And I'll never go back! He still asks at times. I say nope.

 

He stole my peace of mind even when I THOUGHT I was happy and things were good.

 

Alcohol is the same as another woman. It takes you away from being close to her. You get sneaky going out to have drinks etc. the priority isn't the wife- it's the alcohol! And a wife gets tired of not being YOUR priority - especially when YOU are supposd to be there to love and protect and guide her. When you're absent - or creating trouble by drinking - you aren't playing the role she expects in a husband.

 

She may never trust that you could play that role - given all those years of ruining your chances she gave you to earn her respect back.

 

It may be too late. You can't blame her for acknowledging what history YOU created for her. She may have chosen a new path for herself.

 

It's time to accept that and honor her by giving her the space to find her own way now. She deserves peace of mind.

 

You need to move forward and find a way that works for you too - even against your adversities. Staying in gratitude helps.

 

Get busy living. Life is too short for feeling sorry for yourself!

[hurts_so_bad]

Thanks sunny and I see what ur talking about...Im trying to get bush living but its raking yime. Not cause of her but my siyuation. I live in the burbs so.the car is basically a necesity....once and if I get my license back things will be easier cause I will have more freedom...all in time!

[2sunny]

You need to adjust to your consequences/circumstances instead of expecting your circumstances to adjust to your expectations.

[dreamingoftigers]

Plus it seems that she didn't take the other guy too seriously.

 

It sounds like dye just wasn't to be able to have some fun after spending so much time worrying about what was going on with you.

 

He sounds like "a loser" who doesn't make much money. BUT most of us don't have the financial aspect at the top of the list in our marriages.

 

Most of us have respect at the #1 spot.

 

You didn't respect your wife. Yes you provided for her, yes you loved her. You might've felt that she didn't respect you, but that isn't going to weigh-in on her end.

 

After years of disrespecting her, if an interested, respectful-seeming guy came along, that would be as powerful as a drug.

[hurts_so_bad]

You need to adjust to your consequences/circumstances instead of expecting your circumstances to adjust to your expectations.

 

Well sunny easier said then done! Its easy to say to adjust when you can probably drive..Im not being an a@@ but its the truth...I have to rely on my friends and neighbors to get to the store to shop for groceries...Thank God I take a bus to work!

 

As for dating! Thats a joke! What women in their right mind is going to travel to meet me for a first date then except that they have to drive to me all the time! Not many...Ive been out there and can tell you that first hand. Ive met a few and they werent pleased with the idea.

 

I have adjusted the best I can in order to survive. Im tired of just surviving by others helping...Like jimmy Stewart said in "ITS a Wonderful life" I wanna live again!

 

I know what you are saying except things the way they are..I get it and have no choice but too but I see a long crappy road up until i get my license back in order and have my freedom once again.

[2sunny]

Well sunny easier said then done! Its easy to say to adjust when you can probably drive..Im not being an a@@ but its the truth...I have to rely on my friends and neighbors to get to the store to shop for groceries...Thank God I take a bus to work!

 

As for dating! Thats a joke! What women in their right mind is going to travel to meet me for a first date then except that they have to drive to me all the time! Not many...Ive been out there and can tell you that first hand. Ive met a few and they werent pleased with the idea.

 

I have adjusted the best I can in order to survive. Im tired of just surviving by others helping...Like jimmy Stewart said in "ITS a Wonderful life" I wanna live again!

 

I know what you are saying except things the way they are..I get it and have no choice but too but I see a long crappy road up until i get my license back in order and have my freedom once again.

 

Easy solution. Stop trying to date!

 

Hire a hooker once in a while. Cheaper and less complicated!

 

All you keep typing is "I want it may way!"

 

Well YOU did these things to earn these consequences.

 

Yes, I drive! I drank, but I didn't drive drunk! So i never got arrested for drunk driving. I wasn't willing to live with myself if I had killed someone while driving in a blackout.

 

These are what you created. You will earn privileges back - but it takes a lot of time given your history of so many DWI's.

 

Sheez, take some classes to better yourself. Get some introspection to help you. Volunteer! Start HELPING OTHERS instead of being a taker. When it's all about you - you're always gonna be miserable and unsatisfied.

 

You haven't learned to principles of your program at all. The answers are in your step work - yet you roadblock your growth by not doing the work.

 

No one can help you if you don't help yourself- and become willing to help others, too, in the process.

[aMguilts]

hurts

 

2sunny`s right.

 

Don`t think that the next thing i`m going to say is having a go at you, because i don`t mean it that way.

But there is always some excuse with you.

You`ve got advice on here that you don`t want to seem to heed?

 

Noone can tell you what to do.

 

So i ask you. What are you going to do to change your life for the better?

Cos right now you are just waiting around for things to happen. Life isn`t like that. You want something go out and get it. Nothing or noone is stopping you. Only yourself.

When i left the marital home i rented a 2 room studio flat that was dirt cheap but it done me.

You say you can`t `afford` to live anywhere else or even get a divorce?

So how do you plan on buying, maintaining and running a car even if you had got your licence back?

Sitting back and waiting for life to happen?

Get up, get going, stop making excuses for yourself.

You got in you the power to change the future.

We call them `bedsits` here in the uk. Basically just a room in a `shared house` . Surely you have those in the u.s?

 

Whats your profession? can`t you move somewhere else and change jobs?

 

Where there`s a will, theres a way

 

aM

[hurts_so_bad]

You guys are talking to me and giving me advice as if I dont have a life... Dont get me wrong! I do and a damn good one in comparison to many! Im an electrician in NYC and make a damn good salary. I have my own home which I bought my ex wife out of months ago. I see my kids almost daily after work and every other weekend.

 

I have a side ebay business that makes me extra money, look it up (ibew_bro) is my user ID...I have a 1985 grand national hot rod which I am restoring and I have friends to rely on... I have plenty! Just missing one thing that I miss very much...Thats all! I guess losing something after 20 years when its gone it takes a while to adjust.

 

As for helping others....Its not an excuse! Its reality in my life...

I am up at 4:15am every morning...catch a 4:50am bus. Im at work from 7am to 5pm working overtime lately. I Catch a 6:15pm bus home and get home at 8pm and need to be in bed by 9:30...I barely have enough time to make something to eat, let the dogs out and clean up...The only time I have to do anything like AA and the gym lately is on weekends. Once the overtime ends I will be home at 6pm which still leaves a small window to do much of anything..

 

I am not by any means laying on my bed sulking! dont get me wrong guys!

I am helping myself as much as I possibly can! Up until the point they put 40 hours in a day I am doing everything i possibly can with 24 hrs in a day!

My job and finaces come first so I cant quit that to make more time! Just wanted to get that straight so that you guys can see my situation and not think that I am not making time to help others or myself..

[dreamingoftigers]

Hey Hurts,

 

A lot of this stuff is just "time & energy" to get through and it's a bitch.

 

So maybe some coping strategies in the meantime would help?

 

I think a lot of people on LS have long journeys where they have trouble coping. MarqueeMoon4 was one. He had a helluva time.

[hurts_so_bad]

Hey Hurts,

 

A lot of this stuff is just "time & energy" to get through and it's a bitch.

 

So maybe some coping strategies in the meantime would help?

 

I think a lot of people on LS have long journeys where they have trouble coping. MarqueeMoon4 was one. He had a helluva time.

 

Hey DOT

I think most people on here are still coping otherwise why be on here unless being on here just to help others. But if in a loving relationship I think spending too much time on here or any website can be a starin on a relationship. Id rather spend time with my lover!. Its great talking and getting advice but sometimes I wonder if being on here just lingers it being we keep bringing it up...What kind of coping skills we talking about?

[aMguilts]

Hey DOT

I think most people on here are still coping otherwise why be on here unless being on here just to help others. But if in a loving relationship I think spending too much time on here or any website can be a starin on a relationship. Id rather spend time with my lover!. Its great talking and getting advice but sometimes I wonder if being on here just lingers it being we keep bringing it up...What kind of coping skills we talking about?

 

hurts.

 

 

so you have dogs? and from what you are saying they are left alone for that amount of time?. i HATE to think that is the case. i love dogs more than people and i hate to see them being neglected. being stuck in a house for that amount of time is just cruel

 

And `what are we ALL doing on here` if we had better lives to lead than to sort out yours???

Define `coping` will you, for me?

 

Personally, this site ( and a few others) have `saved` my marriage

and i`d like to think that i stick around to maybe save someone else`s too.

That`s what i`m doing here.

 

If you rather i not post to your thread anymore hurts because you know better than me than just say ok?

and i`ll stop. I`m in a `loving` relationship, but i still find time to reply on here. I`m not in her kni**ers 24/7 and i do need MY time as well. And IF i spend that time trying to help ppl like you than don`t judge me, and really have some consideration.

 

You know best. There is really nothing else to say to you that i haven`t already said.

Apart from, get a dog walker

 

aM

[hurts_so_bad]

hurts.

 

 

so you have dogs? and from what you are saying they are left alone for that amount of time?. i HATE to think that is the case. i love dogs more than people and i hate to see them being neglected. being stuck in a house for that amount of time is just cruel

 

And `what are we ALL doing on here` if we had better lives to lead than to sort out yours???

Define `coping` will you, for me?

 

Personally, this site ( and a few others) have `saved` my marriage

and i`d like to think that i stick around to maybe save someone else`s too.

That`s what i`m doing here.

 

If you rather i not post to your thread anymore hurts because you know better than me than just say ok?

and i`ll stop. I`m in a `loving` relationship, but i still find time to reply on here. I`m not in her kni**ers 24/7 and i do need MY time as well. And IF i spend that time trying to help ppl like you than don`t judge me, and really have some consideration.

 

You know best. There is really nothing else to say to you that i haven`t already said.

Apart from, get a dog walker

 

aM

 

then dont post anymore am or should I call you coops? my dogs are no ones concern! They are treated better then most people! what do dogs do? They sit around the house and play with eachother whether I am here or not and they have a huge yard to run around when I get home and let them out...So dont judge me...

 

Im not judging anyone with what I said, Its just my point of view that I think most people on here are still coping thats why they are on here...Not all...Thats why you dont see many reconciliation stories on here because once people reconcile that tend to spend time working on their marriage instead of being online.. Thats all I am saying..Not judging anyone..To each his own...

[Yasuandio]

then dont post anymore am or should I call you coops? my dogs are no ones concern! They are treated better then most people! what do dogs do? They sit around the house and play with eachother whether I am here or not and they have a huge yard to run around when I get home and let them out...So dont judge me...

 

Im not judging anyone with what I said, Its just my point of view that I think most people on here are still coping thats why they are on here...Not all...Thats why you dont see many reconciliation stories on here because once people reconcile that tend to spend time working on their marriage instead of being online.. Thats all I am saying..Not judging anyone..To each his own...

 

HSB

 

I am home with my dogs - BUT, they do seem to appreciate their time alone away from me a portion of the day. Dogs need "reflection" time. They meditate during the day while you are gone, and they do have each other for company. When you get home - the excitment of seeing you is worth everything to your companions! Also running free in their open yard is much more natural than walking on a leach, in my opinion. I'm sure they love it!

 

I let my dogs run free and "mark" in the backyard where ever they want. Others in the subdivision with out fensed large properties have to walk leashed dogs on sidewalk with plastic grocery bags in hand. Looks pathetic.

 

Moderators will soon know that aM is Coopster. It is sad, really. On his "good days," Coop is capable of making positive contributions on LS, but as soon as OP expresses gratitude, or anyone actually agrees with Coop - he snaps, and instantly goes irrate - seems to be a consistent pattern.

 

Good Luck to you, Yas

[ataloss8270]

then dont post anymore am or should I call you coops? my dogs are no ones concern! They are treated better then most people! what do dogs do? They sit around the house and play with eachother whether I am here or not and they have a huge yard to run around when I get home and let them out...So dont judge me...

 

Im not judging anyone with what I said, Its just my point of view that I think most people on here are still coping thats why they are on here...Not all...Thats why you dont see many reconciliation stories on here because once people reconcile that tend to spend time working on their marriage instead of being online.. Thats all I am saying..Not judging anyone..To each his own...

 

Hurts,

 

A lot of us are definitely still coping with the life's we are living. But their are some good hearted people on here that are out to help those who are going threw things that only people who have been threw them would understand. And giving advise to the people they believe they can help in their own way. Weather it be helping them cope with the heart ache, legal issues, or even reconciliation If they feel their stories have a slim chance of it from what they read. As aM and many others are doing for you. He just has a different approach than most people on hear. Unlike most here who are overly sensitive to peoples feeling, he tells it how it is. And sometimes that is the best way to do it. And his advise has actually gotten me a little further in my relationship with my wife or STBXW, which ever way it goes. But his advise has gotten me on the right path to make myself happy. And I feel what he is trying to say to you is stop feeling bad for yourself because it will only lead to your own mental destruction. I feel you need to stop filling your head with all this self doubt and this horrible self image, and just work on you. Stop trying to figure out why your ex left and figure out how to become a better you so you can start looking for the future Ms. hurts_so_bad.

 

And as for you dogs, maybe if you start to walk them every night you may find a nice lady out there walking her dog and it will give you something in common to talk to her about. And may lead some where in the future. But sense you don't have a car right now, you and her could always met up for a nightly walk a few times a week. All I'm saying is you don't need a car to date or impress a lady. Its how you carry and present yourself that matters. Just try and make the best of whatever situation you are presented with. Like me, I could very easily sit around and think that my dating life is over for a while because I have my very young kids so much. But instead I look at it from another angle, I can very easily start going to the park and to the local rivers and lakes in my county and find a very nice single mom whom I may click with and begin another chapter in my life. Its very easy to destroy yourself, but to be able to dig yourself out of the hole you are in will only make you stronger in the long run.

[hurts_so_bad]

Day by day little by little things are coming together and I have found myself healing faster in the past month then I have all year but there is always something to f@@k thing up in my head again to make me think maybe she misses me or wants back...I cant understand this sick s@@t... why cant it just be cut and dry?! for instance

 

There is always certain call or texts regarding the kids or finances which I have to deal with cause thats a part of our lives, which is fine and I am sort of ok with as there is no way around it, but a few weeks ago (my daughters were staying with me that weekend) I told my daughter on a sunday to tell her mom to pick them up from my place at 10 pm so that my daughters and i can have diner together and watch the walking dead together which ends at ten...

 

My daughter responded in a text saying, mom already made plans to cook us dinner and watch it at her house...MOm said you can come if you want.. Which I declined.

 

A few weeks ago I was on a dating website and check out who has viewed my profile and there she is...I immediately hide my profile and a few days later hers was deleted.

 

last week I get a text from the ex saying to please give her a day that we can meet to talk about what we are going to do with this years taxes and my daughters dentist bills..So we met and went to the dinner. The converstaion lasted about 3 minutes regarding the taxes and the dental. All else was about work and she seemed very curious on whats going on with me. for instance, she asked me who cut my hair that she thought they cut it too short and when I mentioned the sound system I put in my Buick grand national that I am restoring she said, OH! Id love to hear it!

 

When we got back to the house we BS'd amongst ourselves and with the kids for a while which in a whole we hung out for about 3 hours..

 

She always ends up appearing at the gym I go to cause she works out there too but makes it a point to come over and say hello to the kid I work out with which is a kid up the street I get a ride with who is my sons age that we know since he is like 8 years old.

 

Last night tops them though! I have a girl that I see every other weekend cause she cant be here when my girls are here on their weekend, I wont allow it yet. Anyway, this weekend she is up...We went out last night got home around 1:30am...We were fooling around and at around 2am I get two texts then another like ten minutes later. Of course I didnt check them right away cause that is a total turn off! later when we were done doing our thing I checked the messages...

 

One said, "what are you doing? the next said "are you home" and the third said, pappa, are you home? which came in like ten minutes later...They were all from my ex....Needless to say this pissed me off a little but I gotta admit it boosted my ego a bit too thinking she is looking for me. BUT! here is the kicker! my son and I have the same first name and she calls him pappa...Now I am thinking maybe she meant to text him and text me by mistake...

 

Can all of these things just be coincidence? I personally dont think so but you guys tell me what you think!

 

This sort of ***** can really mess with your head! Its like no matter what she does or says there is never a clear cut answer! Always another way to look at it which leaves me guessing! Do you guys understand what I am saying?

Its like a sick joke! It really is! That always plays with my emotions

Edited March 3, 2013 by hurts_so_bad

[Steadfast]

Easy. Stop looking for clues or 'hidden meanings' and only accept what's clear. And I mean clear...no wondering. Red light, green light. No games.

 

Even if she's 'interested' and wanted to get back together, this sideways approach allows her the option of calling the whole thing off again. "I felt bad for you, or the kids" she might say. "I'm not sure how I feel." Keeping you handy gives her choices and control. Is that what you want?

 

She knows how. Everyone does. If she can't be upfront and clear with you - the father of her children, then who can she be straight to? "I love you, I miss you and I'm willing to do whatever is necessary to repair our relationship so we can be together" is what you need to hear. Her love and desire must be so strong, she's willing to risk the rejection. Do you get it?

 

If it isn't, you'd have no chance anyway.

 

This is just a game. A toe in the water. Not good enough.