Wife told me she loves me but isn't in love with me

[IWantTheTruth]

So almost exactly a year ago, I found out my wife had been sexting with an Internet acquaintance and we have been working on our marriage ever since. See my previous posts for the info.

 

I have been recording her conversations and looking trough her phone and such, and have found no evidence of wrong doing ever since, in fact it sounds like she's been "good". Despite this, our relationship hasn't been great. It's impossible for me to trust her, she gets defensive and angry when I ask questions, just the other day I thought I heard something bad on a recording and I for very upset and told her I want a divorce. It turns out I took what she said out of context and shnot of very upset and had said she wanted it to be over and she knows it's her fault for betraying the trust. It was a long distance emotional affair, not physical (no sex/phys contact-yes I'm %100 sure). I have been a her to her for several years, she used to be crazy about me, I was a major ******* to her until I found out a year ago what she was doing, I've been trying to make it up to her ever since.

 

I asked her if she would be interested in reading a couple of books recommended by others here "how to help your spouse heap from your affair" and she said she wanted to give it another try wih reading the books. When we were buying them on amazon (kindle version), she saw a book titled "I love you but I'm not in love with you" and said that's exactly how she feels about me. It hit me like a ton of bricks, but I realized I used to feel that way until this all happened.

 

I then asked her not to tell me she loved me until she really meant it. We started reading the book, got to about %40 , went to bed. She offered me oral sex, we made love and cuddled to sleep. This morning she asked for a hug and kiss as I left.

[IWantTheTruth]

I'm gonna try and lose weight (I gained some), be more confident, give her a little space, and make sure not to smother her anymore. I think these are issues on my end.

[standtall]

I'm gonna try and lose weight (I gained some), be more confident, give her a little space, and make sure not to smother her anymore. I think these are issues on my end.

 

You have that part 100% right on..women do not love men they do not respect. So man up and do it...good luck.