Top 10 Insane Acts Performed by my Ex.

[crazyaboutcrazy]

Top 10 mental things my ex did:

 

10. Signed me up for online dating while were together.

 

9. Cut up half of my wardrobe with a butcher's knife.

 

8. Tried to 'kill' herself twice.

 

7. Smashed my laptop and then started crying when I threatened to throw hers in the sink.

 

6. Wrote bizarre emails to my mother and ex wife about how we were going to get a court order to see my children, when my ex wife was willing to sit down and work it out.

 

5. Called me at work because I left the garbage bin in the wrong spot and threatened to throw my work imac onto the street if I didn't come home to move it immediately.

 

4. Pushed me into a table so hard I broke my little toe.

 

3. Punched me in the head so hard she gave me a black eye.

 

2. Threw a crystal whiskey decanter at my head.

 

1. Asked me not to go home to meet my kids when they got dropped off as a 'test' to see if I could 'put her first', later claiming she would have made me go if I had actually agreed. I didn't, so her reaction was threatening to call the cops if I ever contact her again, despite the fact that her phone is in my name, she took half of my stuff and owes me over a grand!

 

I thought I'd dated every crazy woman this side if the world but she is the reigning champ. The best part is her utter lack of remorse, she believes that I 'forced' her into every one of the above incidents.

 

Thanks for letting me get all if that off my chest. Feel free to contribute similar insanity...

[Frank13]

That's some really wild stuff. Psycho comes to mind.

 

As far as being hit. I have never hit a woman. However, if a woman wants to put herself in a man's position by hitting me, I would hit her back. If she actually threw something at my head and hit me, I would teach her a lesson she would never forget.

[Philosoraptor]

Well aren't you glad you got away from this situation?

[CopingGal]

EEK, sorry you went through that. Borderline Personality Disorder Traits come to mine when I read this. Here are my top ten things in no particular order.

 

 

1- Had a hidden facebook page...a page in which he did not indicate his relationship status, but presented the page as if he was single. He talked about a trip we went on as if he went by himself. Numerous lies about facebook including trying to convince me that facebook was broken. Using God in his lies about facebook. Refused to acknowlege me on facebook in any way, yet acknowledged the woman he cheated on me with after I left him. Acknowledged the next girlfriend he had on facebook as well. Used facebook to cause me intense pain and brushed it off by chuckling and saying "It's Facebook!"

 

2-Lied to me about why he didn't want to get married. When he confessed why he really didn't, lied in the confession as well. Lied throughout the relationship. Lied about why he wouldn't take me to the superbowl party. Lied about mice in his apartment. Lied about other women. Lies, lies, and more lies.

 

3-Jumped into another relationship within a week when we only had an argument and did not break up, simply because I was mad and said "I have nothing to say to you."

 

4-When I had trouble with my seat belt one dark and icy night, instead of helping me, he got frustrated waiting for me and told me to go without a seatbelt.

 

5-Throughout the relationship kept telling me that he couldn't see me because he had no money to come to my city to see me, or because work got in the way. He once told me we were cursed because we had so much trouble getting together because of his life. Finally, he got another job that gave him lots of time. After putting up with crumbs of his time and trying to understand him and give him a break for three years (off and on), he used his free time to look for other women and cheat on me. He confessed that those times he said he couldn't see me because of work and lack of money, he really could have if he had wanted to. All the tears I had because I missed him so much....all those times he told me he really, really wanted to see me but he could not...they were lies. Told to me he was counting the days when he could see me again, even though he was purposely refusing to see me because he was cheating on me. He tried to present the cheating as if "it wasn't his fault." Told me he could not email me because the person he lived with was always on the computer. Then told this woman he would be her email pail.

 

6-The woman he cheated on me with was living in my city so he would drive all the way here and be with her and then go back home and tell me he did not have money to see me. Cheated on me with an old, disabled ignorant red-neck, recovering alcoholic who smoked, even though he didn't like smoke. The couple's therapist said he was using her. Although he told me he would never marry anyone again, he proposed to her within 5 months of meeting her. Gave me details about their relationship and sex-life. Sent me a 15 page letter telling me he missed me but filled up the pages mostly about her.

 

7-Lied in couple's therapy. The therapist told me she did not believe one word he said. He confessed that he didn't care about couple's therapy and that he was just going through the motions. The therapist said he had sociopathic tendencies and traits of narcissitic personality disorder.

 

8-Used his midly autistic son in his lies so that he could cheat on me. Pushed me away big time and ignored me when he finally got the job that gave him great hours. Moved our relationship from "committed" to "back up" status without telling me. In all of this, told me that he loved me while he was doing all of those things to me.

 

9- Caused me unspeakable, unspeakable pain, yet no remorse...no apologies. Brushed off my pain like it was no big deal. Throughout the relationship, apologies were only expressed when they furthered his agenda. Throughout all the terrible behavior, tried to convince me that the bad things he had done to me were my fault. Told me that making me physically ill and stomping on my heart with worth it to be with the woman he cheated with.

 

10-Harassed me when I tried to stay away from him so that I could heal. Contacted me to force me to be his friend, or to throw the woman he cheated on me with in my face. I was unabled to change the number because the account was not in my name. It was in my housemate's brother's name, but he did not want to go through the trouble of changing it. Completely disregarded the pain he caused me and called to wish me "Happy Thanksgiving." Sent a text telling me he wanted all of my dreams to come true for Christmas, etc. Sent texts as if he had done none of these things to me. I kept asking him to leave me alone. I had to threaten 4 different times to call the police. After the 4th time I had planned to report him, but he finally stopped, but went on facebook and told the world he would not change a thing.

Edited June 12, 2012 by CopingGal

[crazyaboutcrazy]

Well aren't you glad you got away from this situation?

 

Yes and no. I still care for her and I'm concerned about her mental health, since she fits the profile of someone with Narcissictic Personality Disorder. I had to step away for the sake of my daughters...I guess they saved me from myself.

[Nohbody]

I wouldn't worry too much about trying to diagnose her. She obviously does have some kind of issue going on: but you can't help her. She'll just drag you down into her pit of insanity with her. No good for you.

 

If you really care, get away and recommend she see a psychiatrist. But get away.

[crazyaboutcrazy]

I wouldn't worry too much about trying to diagnose her. She obviously does have some kind of issue going on: but you can't help her. She'll just drag you down into her pit of insanity with her. No good for you.

 

If you really care, get away and recommend she see a psychiatrist. But get away.

 

Agreed. The thing is, how do people ever get better or get treatment if they don't want too/won't admit they have problems? I know I can't help her but who can if she won't help herself?

[casey1989]

Agreed. The thing is, how do people ever get better or get treatment if they don't want too/won't admit they have problems? I know I can't help her but who can if she won't help herself?

 

No one. You can't help people until they are prepared to help themselves. But whether she gets help or not is not your concern anymore, just focus on healing yourself.

[CopingGal]

Personality Disorders from Cluster B are the worse kind when it comes to inflicting pain on others. Anyone dating someone with strong traits of Narcissitic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Antisocial (Sociopathy) Personality Disorder, run as fast as you can and do NOT look back.

[LoveAnimals]

Your username suits you well lol

[crazyaboutcrazy]

I forgot my fave:

 

11. Threatening to 'destroy me' via sabotaging my job and custody of my daughters.

 

Charming! And yet I miss her...it's a lot like Stockholme Syndrome really...the drama is addictive.

[Pens55]

LOL, ok..just one so I can vent....

 

Told me a HUGE lie about where she was going and who she was going with. So I call her on her lie - she drives to where I am, screams at me in public until I get in her car, then accuses me of cheating on her with a mutual (female) friend, and a mutual (male) friend.

 

There was NO justification for accusing me of this btw...maybe the female is viable based on my sexual preference...even though I have no interest in the friend and would never even think about doing something like that (my ex knows I am the anti-cheater), but when she said I was banging our guy friend, I nearly lost it. Then proceeds to dial her mom so I can "confess what I did"...

 

Um, when caught in a lie, make up the most absurd counter accusations you can I guess. I thought I was confronting her about a lie, and suddenly everything, including the sun rising each morning is my fault. And that folks, is why you avoid the personality disorders.

 

I could make a list of 100's, but most are just too horrible for this forum

Edited June 13, 2012 by Pens55

[CopingGal]

LOL, ok..just one so I can vent....

 

Told me a HUGE lie about where she was going and who she was going with. So I call her on her lie - she drives to where I am, screams at me in public until I get in her car, then accuses me of cheating on her with a mutual (female) friend, and a mutual (male) friend.

 

There was NO justification for accusing me of this btw...maybe the female is viable based on my sexual preference...even though I have no interest in the friend and would never even think about doing something like that (my ex knows I am the anti-cheater), but when she said I was banging our guy friend, I nearly lost it. Then proceeds to dial her mom so I can "confess what I did"...

 

Um, when caught in a lie, make up the most absurd counter accusations you can I guess. I thought I was confronting her about a lie, and suddenly everything, including the sun rising each morning is my fault. And that folks, is why you avoid the personality disorders.

 

I could make a list of 100's, but most are just too horrible for this forum

 

 

Wow. Sorry that happened. This is the first time I've seen something in the forum that reminds me a little bit of Histrionic Personality Disorder, also in Cluster B.

 

 

You could make a list of 100's, but they are too horrible. Gosh, I am sorry...although I do admit I am curious.

[Tiera D]

to many posters above your exes are all selve-centred people to them everyone are just tools,once it serves no more purpose you are discarded.Continue living with them and they WILL push your buttons even more and more,You cannot save them and dont try to,everything in their lives is a lie.Read more threads in the forum you will see most dumpees who try to save their heartless exes dont end up a good ending

 

TD

[Pens55]

Wow. Sorry that happened. This is the first time I've seen something in the forum that reminds me a little bit of Histrionic Personality Disorder, also in Cluster B.

 

 

You could make a list of 100's, but they are too horrible. Gosh, I am sorry...although I do admit I am curious.

 

 

I've never heard of Histrionic PD CopingGal. I'll admit, I am self-diagnosing her as BPD, so I guess I am using the term loosely. But I would feel comfortable saying she exhibits strong characteristics of most of the 9 traits, and has the common personal history that is associated with it.

 

Thanks for your sympathy, I am slowly getting back to my old self. If you are that familiar with the cluster-b disorders, Im sure you know how much you lose yourself during that period.

 

Im cool with talking about my experience, but try to keep it limited on the forum bc some of it can be pretty ugly - but if you need some info, or just like to hear some brutal stories PM me

[CopingGal]

Here's some info copied and pasted from Pub Med:

 

Histrionic personality disorder is a condition in which people act in a very emotional and dramatic way that draws attention to themselves

 

 

Symptoms include:

• Acting or looking overly seductive
  
• Being easily influenced by other people
  
• Being overly concerned with their looks
  
• Being overly dramatic and emotional
  
• Being overly sensitive to criticism or disapproval
  
• Believing that relationships are more intimate than they actually are
  
• Blaming failure or disappointment on others
  
• Constantly seeking reassurance or approval
  
• Having a low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification
  
• Needing to be the center of attention (self-centeredness)
  
• Quickly changing emotions, which may seem shallow to others
  

Histrionic personality disorder - PubMed Health

 

 

Histrionics over exaggerate their speech and gestures so much it's like they are on stage, along with having several symptoms. Plus the symptoms themselves are VERY strong. But most people do not have personality disorders. Some people will have traits of some PDs as opposed to the disease itself.

[Pens55]

Thanks CopingGal, it seems like the PDs have a lot of overlap. However, if a key indicator would be the impression of 'acting' so to speak, I dont really think that fits her well.

 

And I also agree, I use the label BPD for my ex for simplicity's sake, rather than saying "my ex, who shows strong characteristics of x out of the 9 core BPD traits."

 

Whether or not she truely has a PD, I do not know. I am just taking the evidence I have and making an educated guess - but the bottom line is, she cannot hold a relationship and cannot love me the way I need. So whether she is BP, BPD, bats#*t crazy, or perfectly healthy, it doesnt matter - she is not the person I need.

Edited June 14, 2012 by Pens55
i cant use proper grammar :)

[crazyaboutcrazy]

Here's some info copied and pasted from Pub Med:

 

Histrionic personality disorder is a condition in which people act in a very emotional and dramatic way that draws attention to themselves

 

 

Symptoms include:

• Acting or looking overly seductive
  
• Being easily influenced by other people
  
• Being overly concerned with their looks
  
• Being overly dramatic and emotional
  
• Being overly sensitive to criticism or disapproval
  
• Believing that relationships are more intimate than they actually are
  
• Blaming failure or disappointment on others
  
• Constantly seeking reassurance or approval
  
• Having a low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification
  
• Needing to be the center of attention (self-centeredness)
  
• Quickly changing emotions, which may seem shallow to others
  

Histrionic personality disorder - PubMed Health

 

 

Histrionics over exaggerate their speech and gestures so much it's like they are on stage, along with having several symptoms. Plus the symptoms themselves are VERY strong. But most people do not have personality disorders. Some people will have traits of some PDs as opposed to the disease itself.

 

^ Holy crap, that describes her to a tee! Plus she was trained as an actress, so the entire 'relationship' felt like it was performed on stage.

[CopingGal]

Thanks CopingGal, it seems like the PDs have a lot of overlap. However, if a key indicator would be the impression of 'acting' so to speak, I dont really think that fits her well.

 

And I also agree, I use the label BPD for my ex for simplicity's sake, rather than saying "my ex, who shows strong characteristics of x out of the 9 core BPD traits."

 

Whether or not she truely has a PD, I do not know. I am just taking the evidence I have and making an educated guess - but the bottom line is, she cannot hold a relationship and cannot love me the way I need. So whether she is BP, BPD, bats#*t crazy, or perfectly healthy, it doesnt matter - she is not the person I need.

 

 

Actually it does matter. Because you need to make sure that the next time someone exhibits these symptoms...run!

[ihateslowjams]

Here's some info copied and pasted from Pub Med:

 

Histrionic personality disorder is a condition in which people act in a very emotional and dramatic way that draws attention to themselves

 

 

Symptoms include:

• Acting or looking overly seductive
  
• Being easily influenced by other people
  
• Being overly concerned with their looks
  
• Being overly dramatic and emotional
  
• Being overly sensitive to criticism or disapproval
  
• Believing that relationships are more intimate than they actually are
  
• Blaming failure or disappointment on others
  
• Constantly seeking reassurance or approval
  
• Having a low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification
  
• Needing to be the center of attention (self-centeredness)
  
• Quickly changing emotions, which may seem shallow to others
  

Histrionic personality disorder - PubMed Health

 

 

 

Wow, my ex had 9/10 of those... very interesting...

[ihateslowjams]

I just read the pubmed website and its complications...

"Histrionic personality disorder may affect your social or romantic relationships, or your ability to cope with losses or failures. You may go through many job changes as you become easily bored and have trouble dealing with frustration.

 

Because you tend to crave new things and excitement, you may put yourself in risky situations. All of these factors may lead to a greater risk of depression."

 

umm... that describes her PERFECTLY. When she talks, she must talk with her hands as well. I tried to hold her hands down one time as a game while she talked, and she couldn't... it was WEIRD. she blamed EVERYTHING on me. even when she lost her friends and couldn't get a job, it was my fault. Also, she had like 8 different internships while going to school and none offered her a position afterwards, her part-time job offered her a position but she got bored and quit, couldn't get hired after graduation (had like 10 different interviews), got her current job through a friend a mine, almost quit the job 1 year later because she got bored and hated how they ran the company, but kept it for a very unique offer from the company that was towards her benefit.

 

She also kept claiming she must do new things every day and hated doing the same thing multiple times.

 

She tends to put herself at risk just to have fun that always made me worry for her life because she tends to just go with the flow or does it to "fit in" (her words not mine).

 

After reading this, I'm starting to wonder about whats going to happen to her in the coming year.

Edited June 15, 2012 by ihateslowjams

[wilsonx]

Top 10 mental things my ex did:

 

10. Signed me up for online dating while were together.

 

9. Cut up half of my wardrobe with a butcher's knife.

 

8. Tried to 'kill' herself twice.

 

7. Smashed my laptop and then started crying when I threatened to throw hers in the sink.

 

6. Wrote bizarre emails to my mother and ex wife about how we were going to get a court order to see my children, when my ex wife was willing to sit down and work it out.

 

5. Called me at work because I left the garbage bin in the wrong spot and threatened to throw my work imac onto the street if I didn't come home to move it immediately.

 

4. Pushed me into a table so hard I broke my little toe.

 

3. Punched me in the head so hard she gave me a black eye.

 

2. Threw a crystal whiskey decanter at my head.

 

1. Asked me not to go home to meet my kids when they got dropped off as a 'test' to see if I could 'put her first', later claiming she would have made me go if I had actually agreed. I didn't, so her reaction was threatening to call the cops if I ever contact her again, despite the fact that her phone is in my name, she took half of my stuff and owes me over a grand!

 

I thought I'd dated every crazy woman this side if the world but she is the reigning champ. The best part is her utter lack of remorse, she believes that I 'forced' her into every one of the above incidents.

 

Thanks for letting me get all if that off my chest. Feel free to contribute similar insanity...

She wanted you to be a MAN and break up with her. You allowed her to treat you like a rag doll and look what happened. You feel like a ragdoll and she broke up with you.

 

But yes lets blame her for her actions call her some sort of PD so you can feel better about not standing up for yourself

Edited June 15, 2012 by wilsonx

[CopingGal]

HI Ihateslowjams. Try not to worry. But if you are worried, I would NOT tell her about the HPD criteria. She may freak out. If you wanted to talk to her, maybe you can gently...gently...gently suggest that she see a therapist to help her with her problems. Be careful of how you put things when you say that.

[CopingGal]

She wanted you to be a MAN and break up with her. You allowed her to treat you like a rag doll and look what happened. You feel like a ragdoll and she broke up with you.

 

But yes lets blame her for her actions call her some sort of PD so you can feel better about not standing up for yourself

 

 

Hmmm. That is very harsh.

[ihateslowjams]

Thanks copingGal. I am worried, but I'm in NC for the moment and we just broke up 12 days ago, so i know for sure she won't pick up or flip out on me.

 

Even if we were in talking terms, she HATES criticisms and will take GREAT OFFENSE to anything i say about her or her life... yah, I'm starting to see it was a good thing it ended.............

 

She had a very emotionally abusive relationship for 4 years from high school to college. during her childhood, her parents moved her quite a few times and didn't really get to make lasting friendships. Then, when she did make 2 friends that she thought she could trust, they bullied her and abandoned her and caused her to have a a huge issue about her self-confidence. Ofcourse, being with her, i supported and encouraged her ALL the way.

 

she really does show EVERYTHING the PubMed mentions.