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I F...kd Up..


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I really f'd up last weekend. I went to a festival and had too many beers after not eating all day. Long story short, I ended up meeting and drinking with a woman I didn't really know and ended up at her place. She invited me. This was the 1st time I've even kissed a woman since my divorce. Well, things got out of hand and while we didn't go all the way, we did just about everything else.

 

Now I'm having big time regrets and feel ashamed. I told I'd call her but haven't yet. She has sent 2 FB messages, which I have replied to. She seems like a nice person and I don't want to hurt anyone, but I don't think I want a relationship. At least not now. Hell, maybe I'm flattering myself and she doesn't either. I don't know. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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Hey buckeye,

 

You mentioned that she seems like a nice person.

 

Maybe, consider, asking her to meet you for a drink and some conversation.

 

This will give you both the opportunity to talk about your first encounter.

 

It could turn out that you form a lasting friendship.

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What do you think you did that was so terrible?

 

You met someone, both seemed interested on one another and decided to get right to the next level, but you seemed to be in control since you didn't go allow all the way.

The next day you thought twice and decided not to contact her but you were polite enough to reply to her messages. And you didn't propose to her or commit to anything - it's not the end of the world :)

If you are really not interested in anything, a brief message should do - you don't have to explain anything, just say that you liked it but it's not a good idea to resume it again.

Otherwise, at this point, any further meetings will send her the message that you're still interested on her. Specially meeting her for drinks.

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Thanks SW & GB. I think I was more upset with myself for my letting things get out of hand. I prefer to be in control of myself. I'm not a control freak though. I have to say though, it was nice to hold and kiss a woman again. It's been a long time. I think possibly getting together while sober might be an idea. That way both of us could decide if we're interested. As I said though, I have mixed feelings about a relationship. I still carry some pretty deep wounds. Again, I may be flattering myself. This is all so strange. I have only been on one date since the divorce and that didn't go well.

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