East7 Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 (edited) Guess what..xMW contacted me back ALL in love and nostalgic for what she calls the "Love of her life". Almost 2 years after the A ended !!! Unbelievable. She wrote me a love poetry and sweet things. She is always with her H, nothing has changed. And the moment I told her "I don't care about you anymore and I will NEVER get you back anyways" was so empowering ! I can confidently say I have zero feelings left for the woman I loved the most in the world ! Hell I cried myself to sleep for her ! I just don't feel anything anymore and it leaves me puzzled that I don't feel anything..How did I came at this point I feel sorry for her. She is not over me yet, it is so obvious to me. Fishing is not an option anymore, she knows I date a bunch of single pretty ladies and resuming an A with a desperate married woman is the last thing I'd think about She knows I have moved on and it makes her feel miserable. I am not specifically looking for advice. Just to say : Believe in yourself! You will be stronger and happier and the tables will turn. Those who made you wait in pain and broke your heart will one day miss you and feel miserable the same as you did about them. Edited June 12, 2012 by East7 15 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Great for you! It is selfish of her to call with sweet-nothing essentially. She wants to have you at her disposal, yet offers you nothing. As you said, no thanks. Why date a married woman with a limited relationship on her terms, when you can date people who are in more of a position to give equally? It is sad for her and her husband but I'm happy for you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 She knows I have moved on and it makes her feel miserable. Her ego is hurting too. She probably hoped you'd pine for her forever, be broken hearted and never be able to move on with your life. If she was healthy and not messed up, she would wish you well and hope that you would find love and happiness one day with someone else. At least to me, when you loved someone and it ends, that's what one hopes for. Good for you..You've reached the in difference stage and don't feel anything at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emme Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 SMH! Poor thing. Glad to hear you are immune East! Keep moving forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author East7 Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 And I told her "What did you expect? That I run back to you like a happy puppy each time you'd come back ?" The irony is that I have never been so successful with women since I ended the A. Looks like karma wanted to reward me 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Confused4Now Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 East...Mine made contact with me back in March. She told me how much I was her soulmate and that we'd be together. I humored her and asked her when did she see this happening. She said her divorce would be final in 4-6 months. Well 2 years ago I gave her about $2000 to start her paper work. All that got done was filing....he never got served so the clock has never started. So I didn't pay attention. I told why after a year she would contact me in the same exact spot I left her one year ago almost exactly to the day. She told me she'd tell me what happened in a year when we talked face to face. I didn't let that happen. Well I let her be....she popped in and out for about 2 months. I stopped responding. I saw no point. I really do feel sorry for her. Just like your XMW she probably got in a fight with her H and she was thinking about you. Honestly I don't think she cares about you dating other women...she only knows what you 2 had. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 She knows I have moved on and it makes her feel miserable. I am not specifically looking for advice. Just to say : Believe in yourself! You will be stronger and happier and the tables will turn. Those who made you wait in pain and broke your heart will one day miss you and feel miserable the same as you did about them. East7, Your post is inspiring and I look forward to if and when the tables turn. I mostly look forward to not having the A in my head so often. Also, becoming indifferent where he's concerned. Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Guess what..xMW contacted me back ALL in love and nostalgic for what she calls the "Love of her life". Almost 2 years after the A ended !!! Unbelievable. She wrote me a love poetry and sweet things. She is always with her H, nothing has changed. And the moment I told her "I don't care about you anymore and I will NEVER get you back anyways" was so empowering ! I can confidently say I have zero feelings left for the woman I loved the most in the world ! Hell I cried myself to sleep for her ! I just don't feel anything anymore and it leaves me puzzled that I don't feel anything..How did I came at this point I feel sorry for her. She is not over me yet, it is so obvious to me. Fishing is not an option anymore, she knows I date a bunch of single pretty ladies and resuming an A with a desperate married woman is the last thing I'd think about She knows I have moved on and it makes her feel miserable. I am not specifically looking for advice. Just to say : Believe in yourself! You will be stronger and happier and the tables will turn. Those who made you wait in pain and broke your heart will one day miss you and feel miserable the same as you did about them. So proud of you! You educated yourself, listened and learned quickly. It was impressive. I know many of us bring 2 by 4s when so many are not ready to hear it. I get that. But we have seen it over and over and over again, and if I ever did that to you, I apologize. I am so happy you are at indifference! Liberating, no? There is something so chemically intoxicating, yet glaringly self-absorbed about an affair. Think about it. It takes time to get to indifference, yet, had it been true love with committment and self-sacrifice on BOTH your parts, without any usury, you would never be able to get to indifference. Real love doesn't hurt you. It uplifts, supports and respects you, through good times and bad. I am so happy for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Moanin Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 "One day tables will turn.. " I've almost always found this to be true......it's such a good feeling and it's also extremely validating (not that we need a lost loves' approval to be validated). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 I used to hope and pray that my xmw would realize what she lost, that she would come running back at some point .......now......now I no longer care. Like East7, I'm done. She could show up at my front door with two black eyes and I'd hand her the local PD's number and close it on her. It is a liberating feeling to be free of the need for her 'approval' 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author East7 Posted June 13, 2012 Author Share Posted June 13, 2012 (edited) I am so happy you are at indifference! Liberating, no? There is something so chemically intoxicating, yet glaringly self-absorbed about an affair. Think about it. It takes time to get to indifference, yet, had it been true love with committment and self-sacrifice on BOTH your parts, without any usury, you would never be able to get to indifference. Real love doesn't hurt you. It uplifts, supports and respects you, through good times and bad. I am so happy for you. Thanks for your post Spark What you wrote is actually very inspiring. Love doesn't die of a natural death. It dies from betrayal, hurts, lies, disrespect, manipulations, witherings. I told her "don't tell me how much you love me, show me !" And all I had was the same old crap : "But I can't leave him - I have a kid who needs his father - I can't do this to my kid". I learned that Love doesn't wait. There is not such thing as timing (good match, wrong time..). People who love you will love you NOW, even if they are married. Then I changed, I started to look at her differently. All I started to see in her was lies, empty words, validation cravings..and my feelings started to fade. The anger was the last feeling I had prior to indifference. I was angry at myself for having accepted an A, for putting myself as a second choice, for loving and longing for a woman who had a husband at home. Growing indifferent is definitely liberating. Yes you feel empty, with no emotions, but after you heart has bleeded so much, being unsensitive is not so bad after-all. And that old feeling has been there for so long that the indifference is kind of surprising and destabilizing. My reaction some-times would be "Is this normal-Am I normal? She was the women I loved, what happened to me? Why I don't feel anything ? " Edited June 13, 2012 by East7 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ang.gg Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 Thank you for the hopeful words. Reading that and the responses makes me hopeful for the day when I too can be indifferent and my hard feelings are gone because I no longer care Link to post Share on other sites
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