First post, my ex girlfriend story

[Triguluous]

Hi to everyone, I am new to the boards but I figured I would share a story with everyone.

 

4 month ago My girlfriend and I broke up, it was kind of a mutual decision. It seemed that we were fighting just bought everyother day. We had been going out for over 6 months, she was 23 and I am 22. Anyways, things in our relationship started out great. We would stay up late together. She wanted me to spend the night every night. The problem I had was that she worked at the gym, and I lifted there everyday. I enjoyed seeing her but she would throw a fit if I didn't stop and talk to her every 15 minutes. I looked past this. She was honest, cute, lovable and secure. I have a personality disorder that I kept from her for the longest time. In fear that she would not understand and discontinue seeing me. I have lived with this for most of my life along with other problems I am good at consealing. Sometimes I wonder if I woud have told her things would have been different. The fights mainly consisting of me doing something she didn't like and she yelled at me. If I said a joke she didn't get or like, etc. She became very one-sided, rules or things she would discuss with me did not aply to her. Such as telling the opposite sex that we have a gf / bf. I told other girls that I was involved but she did not see the reason she needed to. I looked past this. She went out a couple of times with guys for lunch. i really didn't care because I went to the bars with other girls as friends of course.

 

She began to make thing very stuctured in our relationship, sex, eating, what we are doing. She would not take of work to do anything together but I willingly took of from my job to do things for her. She did do things for me that other girls did not, b-days, christmas, etc. Sweet things. Well she really started acting differently the last month of our relationgship. Not really distant, but you can tell that her mind was on other things and she would jump on me for everything. She didn't like me talking about my car I was fixing, or what I was doing in school. Or anything else I found interesting. She just sayed, "Well, I just don't understand alot of the things you talk about, computers, math, cars, etc." "That is why I don't really care". I just kind of looked at her and was maddd!!! Cuz she is by nature a very quiet and boring person, that is what everyone that has known here has told me and I can see it too, her conversationg are only about her ?arobics? class. (yeas I still liked this girl, but it was getting harder to stick around)

 

The last 2 weeks of our relationship, I did something I have never done before. I went over to this girl's house that was in my tech class. We where just friends but that night I made the choice to sleep with her. I realized what I had done and felt sick. ill and very scared. I have been cheated on a few times in the past and swore I would never do it. I was eating my own words.

 

I drove home that night so confused and sad. I did not know what I was going to do. The next day, my gf was acting real odd and distant. She seemed to have her head in the clouds. Well, I didn't tell her. 2 weeks later we broke up because she said she couldn't handle fighting and I agread, but for different reasons ( she kept trying to change me) she was mad that I would never change and do what she wanted me to do. Those where her exact words. The next day she called and told me that she would drop off my stuff and informed me that her sister was happy we broke up and also that this guy from the gym had asked her out (*good timing*) and she was going to go out with him. I was a little upset. When I got home that next day, she had put my stuff in a paper bag and left it outside my house. I was a little upset again. A week later I went over to her house to giver her, her things back. She said she had a date with the guy later that night. I decided to tell her about my personality disorder, I told her why I didn't tell her because in previous relationships, they kinda blew me off after that. She said she was happy that I told her. She said it explained to her why I would do things the way she wonted them? I just looked at her kinda confused. She said that she was sorry she broke up with me. I thought it was mutual though. I let her believe what she wanted. Somehow later, we were talking and she started crying because I told her it would be best if we didn't talk anymore. And somehow we ended up having sex for a few hours. And then she said she was going to get ready for her date. I was confused. and I said good bye and left.

 

I have never spoken to her sense that night but have had to see her about twice a day during the week because she works at the gym that I go to. And about a month ago her guy she was dating (now bf) walked by me and gave me a smirk and and mumbled something. I was angry that this 5'5" 155 guy was doing to me, I am 5'11'' 233lbs (just to give you a perspective) He had some nerve. I didnj't know why she was going out with him. She told me that she like me for one reason is that I am a amature body builder. But this guy was the complete opposite and he was mocking me. She would later talk really loud about him when I would be around her for some reason.

 

I don't know if I am over her or not, I have dated a few times but have not really been seeing anyone lately. But I hate seeing her.

 

I know I am a bad person for what I did and except responsability for it. But lately I have trouble talking to women, l am usually very confident person, and happy but now I am having trouble speaking to women. I was wondering if I may not have forgiven or forgotten about the things that have happened. And am scared that I might just find another girl like this.

 

Sorry it was sooo long but. This is really the short version.

[unreal]

Originally posted by Triguluous

Hi to everyone, I am new to the boards but I figured I would share a story with everyone.

 

4 month ago My girlfriend and I broke up, it was kind of a mutual decision. It seemed that we were fighting just bought everyother day. We had been going out for over 6 months, she was 23 and I am 22. Anyways, things in our relationship started out great. We would stay up late together. She wanted me to spend the night every night. The problem I had was that she worked at the gym, and I lifted there everyday. I enjoyed seeing her but she would throw a fit if I didn't stop and talk to her every 15 minutes. I looked past this. She was honest, cute, lovable and secure. I have a personality disorder that I kept from her for the longest time. In fear that she would not understand and discontinue seeing me. I have lived with this for most of my life along with other problems I am good at consealing. Sometimes I wonder if I woud have told her things would have been different. The fights mainly consisting of me doing something she didn't like and she yelled at me. If I said a joke she didn't get or like, etc. She became very one-sided, rules or things she would discuss with me did not aply to her. Such as telling the opposite sex that we have a gf / bf. I told other girls that I was involved but she did not see the reason she needed to. I looked past this. She went out a couple of times with guys for lunch. i really didn't care because I went to the bars with other girls as friends of course.

 

She began to make thing very stuctured in our relationship, sex, eating, what we are doing. She would not take of work to do anything together but I willingly took of from my job to do things for her. She did do things for me that other girls did not, b-days, christmas, etc. Sweet things. Well she really started acting differently the last month of our relationgship. Not really distant, but you can tell that her mind was on other things and she would jump on me for everything. She didn't like me talking about my car I was fixing, or what I was doing in school. Or anything else I found interesting. She just sayed, "Well, I just don't understand alot of the things you talk about, computers, math, cars, etc." "That is why I don't really care". I just kind of looked at her and was maddd!!! Cuz she is by nature a very quiet and boring person, that is what everyone that has known here has told me and I can see it too, her conversationg are only about her ?arobics? class. (yeas I still liked this girl, but it was getting harder to stick around)

 

The last 2 weeks of our relationship, I did something I have never done before. I went over to this girl's house that was in my tech class. We where just friends but that night I made the choice to sleep with her. I realized what I had done and felt sick. ill and very scared. I have been cheated on a few times in the past and swore I would never do it. I was eating my own words.

 

I drove home that night so confused and sad. I did not know what I was going to do. The next day, my gf was acting real odd and distant. She seemed to have her head in the clouds. Well, I didn't tell her. 2 weeks later we broke up because she said she couldn't handle fighting and I agread, but for different reasons ( she kept trying to change me) she was mad that I would never change and do what she wanted me to do. Those where her exact words. The next day she called and told me that she would drop off my stuff and informed me that her sister was happy we broke up and also that this guy from the gym had asked her out (*good timing*) and she was going to go out with him. I was a little upset. When I got home that next day, she had put my stuff in a paper bag and left it outside my house. I was a little upset again. A week later I went over to her house to giver her, her things back. She said she had a date with the guy later that night. I decided to tell her about my personality disorder, I told her why I didn't tell her because in previous relationships, they kinda blew me off after that. She said she was happy that I told her. She said it explained to her why I would do things the way she wonted them? I just looked at her kinda confused. She said that she was sorry she broke up with me. I thought it was mutual though. I let her believe what she wanted. Somehow later, we were talking and she started crying because I told her it would be best if we didn't talk anymore. And somehow we ended up having sex for a few hours. And then she said she was going to get ready for her date. I was confused. and I said good bye and left.

 

I have never spoken to her sense that night but have had to see her about twice a day during the week because she works at the gym that I go to. And about a month ago her guy she was dating (now bf) walked by me and gave me a smirk and and mumbled something. I was angry that this 5'5" 155 guy was doing to me, I am 5'11'' 233lbs (just to give you a perspective) He had some nerve. I didnj't know why she was going out with him. She told me that she like me for one reason is that I am a amature body builder. But this guy was the complete opposite and he was mocking me. She would later talk really loud about him when I would be around her for some reason.

 

I don't know if I am over her or not, I have dated a few times but have not really been seeing anyone lately. But I hate seeing her.

 

I know I am a bad person for what I did and except responsability for it. But lately I have trouble talking to women, l am usually very confident person, and happy but now I am having trouble speaking to women. I was wondering if I may not have forgiven or forgotten about the things that have happened. And am scared that I might just find another girl like this.

 

Sorry it was sooo long but. This is really the short version.

 

From reading your story, it sounds to me that you are not sure how you feel about this girl for sure. I think you actually still wish you two were together somehow. Or maybe it is just the fact that you are a bodybuilder and you lost your girl to a guy that as you say, "doesn't look that good". I'm not sure? One thing I thought was disturbing was that you two had sex for a few hours and then she told you that she had to get ready for her date that night. That would piss me off big time! Not only is that not fair to you, but how is that fair to the poor guy she was about to go out with? You may want to take some time and sit back to see if this is the kind of girl you want or not? The fact that you even cheated on her without her knowing is also another sign that maybe you two shouldn't be together. Sounds to me like there are alot of problems in your relationship together. Probably lack of communication from both sides.

 

As far as you not being able to talk to other girls now? To me that says you are not ready to date because you still have strong feelings for your ex. I'm in the same boat right now. I still love my ex girlfriend tremendously and have no desire to date anyone now. And like you, I'm scared to death that I may find another girl just like my ex. Getting hurt can make you a bit cautious and scared of dating again. Just hang in there and time will help heal the wounds. I would recommend going to another gym for the time being until you can get over her and be comfortable.