Inanna Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 OK, heres a little background. Im 21, very shyr and have social phobia so I have never really dated. I went out with a few guys (seing them once or twice) starting when I was 20. Then... I knew this guy as a friend for alomost a year and we became close friends. I wasnt really attracted to him, he was ok but he didnt "float my boat". We kinda decided to go out. He was attracted to me so he wanted to date me. And I was lonley and wanted the experence so I said ok. We went out for over a month, long time to me. We argued alot, over time mainly. I am unemployed and not in school and he worked full time. And we alwasys just hung out at my place (sooo very boring) but befor when we were just friends we went out and did stuff. We broke up and didnt really talk for several months. Then we slowly atarted talking again. And afew weeks ago started hanging out again. We got along better than befor when we were just friends. I guess casue I know the mistakes we made befor and how to avoid them. Now to my present problem: I have alot of problems (sevier depression, unable to work, social phobia, mild disosative disorder ect.) and Im not the best person to be around so I just dont get why he wants to be around me. It really bugs me that I dont understand it. He has a life and other friends, I have neither. I have another problem too. This one is realy disterbing to me: I think Im attracted to him or something( I have like no experence with this stuff). I didnt feel like this when we were going out. I dont know if its just cause Im lonley, or maby casue I think I cant have him or some other thing or if I would actaly want to try datign him again. We are close friends and I dont want to rune that, but it worked out (going from bf/gf to friends last time). If I should ask him if he wants to date again how would I best do that? Should I tell him how I feel? Sorry this was a small novel. Im just very confusded and I dont have any freinds to ask Link to post Share on other sites
Paulie Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 Are you in counselling?? My suggestion is you get tour tail in to see a qualified therapist as soon as possible, to deal with many of the other issues in your life that you describe. As far as the man goes, what are you hoping for from him?...he's not going to solve these problems for you... My suggestion is to value him as a friend, for the time being, and use this time to nurture your own emotional needs. You will find it extrwemely difficult to love another until you are in touch with yourself first. Paulie Link to post Share on other sites
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