when does teasing become too much?

[kourix]

my ex and i have remained friends or tried to since we broke up last nov. we were only dating for 1-2 months before he decided he didn't want a rs. we stopped talking for awhile but he wound up contacting me again (happened a few times and this is the latest) so we're trying this "friends" thing out.

i know it's stupid, and please don't judge but we planned a platonic weekend trip. it's happening tmr. i was looking forward to it but now i'm afraid i might seriously punch him in the face and start a fight tomorrow.

 

i'll try to keep it brief:

he wasn't like this when we were dating, but it seems like after we tried being friends and were more comfy around each other, he's taken to "teasing me". now, usually i'm fine, but i feel he may have crossed the line. he calls me "dumb" all the time, for no reason, or when i don't know things. for eg. history etc. we're from different countries, so i don't learn the same stuff obviously. i'm a smart person - i know it, but talking to him is aggravating because he keeps dismissing everything i say like "i don't know better".

 

the breaking point:

i left my passport at the airport a week ago when i came back. i know it's such a dumb move and i only found out two days ago when, while preparing for the trip, i was looking for my passport and couldnt find it. app i left it with the admin at the airport because there was some confusion during the time and she asked for it again and i was carrying loads of stuff blah blah so when i left the counter i forgot to take it from her. okay i know it was silly of me, but at least i had the brains to call the airport instead of freaking out. i told him about it, and he said "that's not the issue, the issue is, you have an empty head."

 

i got really irritated and we stopped talking. today he messages me about the passport and i start asking about the details of the trip. even though it's happening tmr, we havent discussed anything about it, because he doesn't feel the need to ("we're not climbing mt everest, so relax, just bring whatever"). and when i ask, he just dismisses me. i've always been a person who loved planning trips, i like to have a rough idea, but he just makes decisions without telling me. also, i'm an efficient person. because i'm impatient, i like to get things done quickly and make sure everything's prepared in advance. [for eg. he initially told me he oculdnt get a hold of anyone at the ticketing agency over the weekend. within half an hour, i got through to the agency). however, he insisted on getting the tickets because he "didn't trust me", so i left it in his hands. he, however, left it till the last min to get tics (without informing me, he only confirmed with the girl two days ago even though we both know the tickets sell out quick), and texts me today and says "btw, we leave on sunday at 1pm bc the 5pm is full." i ask for an explanation - he ignores me. which practically means i'm spending a couple of hundred for a 2D1N trip which to me is bullcrap.

 

i used to enjoy hanging out with him, and i think i do still have feelings for him, but now it's just so frustrating talking to him - i can't imagine what will happen tomorrow. it's also awkward, because he's been partying alot (every week) and picking up tons of girls and going on dates. and it makes me jealous, which is a very bad sign, although i don't say anything for obvious reasons. i know we'll never be together again, and i wanted to be friends. but it just doesn't seem like it's worth it anymore.

 

however, we have another trip planned in a month - a five-day trip, which means i'll at least have to talk to him for another month, but i can't suppress my unhappiness any longer. i guess what i'm asking is - should i tell him everything that's bothering me? or contnue keeping it bottled up? i don't want to ruin this trip for either of us, but i'm so conflicted - and i do not have any poker face whatsoever.

 

it's sad really, i've been looking forward to this trip (not just because of him, but because i've been wanting a beach holiday weekend to relax for the longest time), and now, all i'm doing is dreading it and being all stressed out.

[Arabella]

He obviously doesn't have a high opinion of you, so why bother spending time with him? You barely know him, so I don't know why would you even want to put yourself through the pain of trying to be friends with him, given that you still have feelings for the guy.

 

Save your dignity and walk away. You don't really have to give him any explanations, just do it. If he asks, simply tell him you don't like the way he treats you.

 

-A