Spent a few days in jail, what next?

[soserious1]

I just got out of jail after being held for contempt of court. Long story short, I sent my ex his monthly alimony payment in one dollar bills, yes $2,750 one dollar bills for two months, he hauled me back into court,the judge ordered me to not do that again. I sent last month's alimony payment in rolled pennies, had FedEx deliver it.

 

I'm tired of my post divorce life & am considering just letting everything go, let them take my house,seize my assets & put me in jail. I feel like a slave, putting on my high heel steppers every day to get out there and earn the money to pay my pimp.

 

What do you think the judge would do if I went back to court and offered to surrender everything, my house, all bank accounts & my half of my 401k just to end this misery for all time?

 

I think I'd rather be homeless or in prison than to have to keep dealing with. my ex and his jerk of a lawyer. What should I do, how can I best approach my ex to consider taking everything in exchange for never having to deal with him ever again?

[Mme. Chaucer]

Oh my. I have to laugh - that is very funny, what you did. But not so funny that you had to go to jail.

 

And, truly, not so funny that you still allow this horrible situation to dominate your life and your thoughts.

 

I don't blame you. I'm not sure how I would handle it if I were in your situation, but I do know that allowing such a thing to eat you alive is hurting you more than the financial drain on you could.

[soserious1]

Oh my. I have to laugh - that is very funny, what you did. But not so funny that you had to go to jail.

 

And, truly, not so funny that you still allow this horrible situation to dominate your life and your thoughts.

 

I don't blame you. I'm not sure how I would handle it if I were in your situation, but I do know that allowing such a thing to eat you alive is hurting you more than the financial drain on you could.

 

Actually jail was not bad, met some really interesting women who were pretty nice to me. The food was meh but I didn't have to cook it

 

This horrible situation "dominates my life and thoughts" because I have to fork over that $ 2,750 plus various add one's each and every month, there's no way to not think of it.

 

He's really passive - agressive over the medical co-pay add one's and is constantly pulling crazy making stunts. This is wearing me down,I'm in court regularly over one BS issue after another & just want this done with.

Edited June 14, 2012 by soserious1

[Yasuandio]

Try not to do this shenanigan anymore. It's only hurting you and your gut - and costing more money and effort. Plus - he (I think it's he, or please correct me), is having a big big laugh at your further "expense."

 

The best thing to do is live well - as well as you can on what's left, and hope/wait for a chance to have the amount reduced in the future. Perhaps he will co-habitate, or remarry. You never know.

 

Your intellect and "creativity" needs to be directed into making more mosey for what you losing on this bad investment. Simply try to look at it in a business fashion - I know it is easier said than done. Yas

[2sunny]

Have the pymt come directly from payroll to him...

 

Gotta say - I laughed out loud at your payment method... He got his money - how is that wrong?

[soserious1]

Try not to do this shenanigan anymore. It's only hurting you and your gut - and costing more money and effort. Plus - he (I think it's he, or please correct me), is having a big big laugh at your further "expense."

 

The best thing to do is live well - as well as you can on what's left, and hope/wait for a chance to have the amount reduced in the future. Perhaps he will co-habitate, or remarry. You never know.

 

Your intellect and "creativity" needs to be directed into making more mosey for what you losing on this bad investment. Simply try to look at it in a business fashion - I know it is easier said than done. Yas

 

I have been hauled back into court for one BS issue after another on an average of one every 3 months for a couple of years now. I'm done, I want to offer him & his lawyer a deal, take the house which I own free and clear, take all my cash assets & my half of my 401k, in exchange we are done, no more alimony payments, no more court dates, no more contact with him. I sell my jewelry to rent a modest place to live & I start over.

[jwi71]

I just got out of jail after being held for contempt of court. Long story short, I sent my ex his monthly alimony payment in one dollar bills, yes $2,750 one dollar bills for two months, he hauled me back into court,the judge ordered me to not do that again. I sent last month's alimony payment in rolled pennies, had FedEx deliver it.

 

I'm tired of my post divorce life & am considering just letting everything go, let them take my house,seize my assets & put me in jail. I feel like a slave, putting on my high heel steppers every day to get out there and earn the money to pay my pimp.

 

What do you think the judge would do if I went back to court and offered to surrender everything, my house, all bank accounts & my half of my 401k just to end this misery for all time?

 

I think I'd rather be homeless or in prison than to have to keep dealing with. Y ex and his jerk of a lawyer.

 

Ok, just so you know - that's effin' great. Seriously, it's priceless.

You dear have balls. Kudos. Made my day.

 

Now, from a "realistic" point of view, that was dumb. The judge clearly signaled his position and you stupidly, awesomely (), called him/her on it.

 

Walking away from it all is certainly an option.

And I'll give you some sound advice - obviously do your own research and due diligence.

 

There are countries on this planet which do not have fiduciary treaties with the US. Which, in a nutshell, means the official response for bank assets (aka money) is a staunch "Feck off" to the US. Google is your friend.

 

There are also places on this Earth where legalities are, shall we say, beneficial to wealthy locals who donate to officials. Whose ultimate result is a complete lack of action from US legal and diplomatic overtures. Again, I suggest google.

 

And there are some countries who follow the first two hints and are fond of Americans. Very safe. (I know, I lived there). So safe, most homes do not have front doors.

 

I'd recommend Bali. Sell it all. Xfer to offshore account and retire. Indo authorities won't give a shyte about US demands. A little "cigarette money" and they will never locate you. Or your money.

 

Decent hospitals. Amazing people. Laid back lifestyle. Cheap. You can live like a queen for 1500 a month. That's fine dining, high end home, servants....

 

If you want to do it though, you can't return to the US. It might be tricky in some traveling as well if the judge issues a warrant. Do your homework.

 

Why sell it all and be miserable? Sell it all, xfer to overseas bank (one w/o ties to US) and live in utter luxury.

 

Here's a tasty tidbit. Six years ago, when I lived in Bali, a 90 minute full body massage costs...8 dollars, 9 with tip.

 

Just something to think about....

[Balzac]

Your alimony payment is for what term? Alimony is usually factored by current income so splitting assets isn't exactly the issue. If you can strike a deal to pay up front I think you'd be lucky.

[soserious1]

Have the pymt come directly from payroll to him...

 

Gotta say - I laughed out loud at your payment method... He got his money - how is that wrong?

 

The judge was really pissed off but would have let me go if I hadn't thought to state that at least I sent new pennies instead of the dirty old ones that matched my ex perfectly.LOL, that statement left me cooling my heels in the slammer from Friday afternoon till Monday, went back into court & apologized to the judge. After the fines and legal costs it was expensive but...

 

 

it was funny as heck, worth every penny actually. I am so "done" with this man & his crap. LOL, dirty pennies for a dirty old man, I haven't laughed this hard in years.

[soserious1]

Your alimony payment is for what term? Alimony is usually factored by current income so splitting assets isn't exactly the issue. If you can strike a deal to pay up front I think you'd be lucky.

 

The alimony is for life, he's over age 55 and is disabled due to a "bad back" He's always had a hard on over my home & has said countless times that he'd give anything to see me forced sign it over to him. I'm beginning to think that just offering him what he wants might be the way to go.

[2sunny]

The alimony is for life, he's over age 55 and is disabled due to a "bad back" He's always had a hard on over my home & has said countless times that he'd give anything to see me forced sign it over to him. I'm beginning to think that just offering him what he wants might be the way to go.

 

Nah - don't hand him that much power over you...

 

Try to be neutral... Best way. Then he will affect you less...

 

Maybe you could pay off a young gal to marry him? His support ends if/when he remarries, yes? Hehe

[Negative Nancy]

No advise here, just wanted to say sorry to hear about that, ss1.

 

I've been following your story on LS ever since it happened and your ex still is the same old scumbag...I truly hope he'll get his one day.

[Trimmer]

The judge was really pissed off but would have let me go if I hadn't thought to state that at least I sent new pennies instead of the dirty old ones that matched my ex perfectly.LOL, that statement left me cooling my heels in the slammer from Friday afternoon till Monday, went back into court & apologized to the judge. After the fines and legal costs it was expensive but...

The judge may well have been laughing in private at your first time, with the dollar bills. But then he ordered you not to do it again, and you did. At that point, you were saying a big "F**k you" to the judge. And even then he had the patience to cut you some more slack, and you flipped him (the judge) off again. I don't suppose any of this is a surprise to you, but was it really the judge you were striking out against?

 

I don't hold any sympathy for your ex, and if it was worth it to you for all the costs and doing the jail time, to "strike a blow", then more power to you. But as 2sunny pointed out, did you really end up with more power, or less?

[Owl]

Just curious...did you ask the judge specifically which law/statute you broke by paying your ex in $1 bills? Doesn't it say on the bill "legal tender for all debts"?

 

What you did was obviously not in the "spirit" of his ruling, but well within the "letter of the law". You paid your debt, legally. I honestly don't understand how/why the judge could have ordered you "not to do it again".

 

The contempt of court...I get. That's because you violated his order. But...I don't know that his first order was lawful to begin with. Have you asked your attorney?

[Radu]

Do not give that ******* the house and what you own.

 

Look into what jwi71 mentioned, with the added benefit that i think you can do it in the US too [a certain state has tons of businesses listed to lawyer homes there].

 

How the hell did this guy end up getting 2750 a month ?

The ideea to get a girl to marry him is not a bad ideea.

Get him drunk enough, off to Vegas to party and a quickie wedding ... voila.

 

PS: I will remember the dollar bills and the pennies.

It's just awesome.

[Tiberius]

I just got out of jail after being held for contempt of court. Long story short, I sent my ex his monthly alimony payment in one dollar bills, yes $2,750 one dollar bills for two months, he hauled me back into court,the judge ordered me to not do that again. I sent last month's alimony payment in rolled pennies, had FedEx deliver it.

 

I'm tired of my post divorce life & am considering just letting everything go, let them take my house,seize my assets & put me in jail. I feel like a slave, putting on my high heel steppers every day to get out there and earn the money to pay my pimp.

 

What do you think the judge would do if I went back to court and offered to surrender everything, my house, all bank accounts & my half of my 401k just to end this misery for all time?

 

I think I'd rather be homeless or in prison than to have to keep dealing with. my ex and his jerk of a lawyer. What should I do, how can I best approach my ex to consider taking everything in exchange for never having to deal with him ever again?

 

So basically you want to pay a lump sum of the money he is roughly to receive. I am not sure if that is possible, you will have to consult your lawyer. If he has been awarded 2700 for, say, 2 years that would ammount to over 50k. But you cant just give him the money, you have to legalize it with the courts somehow, else he will get whatever you dole out and alimony on top of it.

 

Ooor try to hook him up, so that he gets married again, then alimony will stop.

[GorillaTheater]

I gotta admit, I'd be so tempted to plant this guy under a mall parking lot or move to Brazil.

[Tiberius]

Do not give that ******* the house and what you own.

 

 

He is 55, if lives till 75 he ll get about 660.000 Dollars from her. I am going out on a leg her, but I dont think her house is worth 660k. Pro tip, judges dont look too kindly on vengeful exes.

 

You have to do what every other man in your situation does, have them tap into your paycheck and not think too hard about it.

[Balzac]

I believe actuarial tables give him longer life than 75.

Looks to me that she could buy an annuity for him to pay out for 28-30 years.

That way he's insured payment if she cannot fund him for any reason.

[soserious1]

He is 55, if lives till 75 he ll get about 660.000 Dollars from her. I am going out on a leg her, but I dont think her house is worth 660k. Pro tip, judges dont look too kindly on vengeful exes.

 

You have to do what every other man in your situation does, have them tap into your paycheck and not think too hard about it.

 

I live in an expensive urban area, this house is worth more than the figure you've listed.

 

As far as the rest goes, I can't just pay the alimony and forget about it, he has me in court on average once every 3 months over one BS thing after another.

 

I want to quit my job, give up everything I own & just vanish into obscurity, I want to propose a settlement offer that will be too good for him to pass up.

[soserious1]

The judge may well have been laughing in private at your first time, with the dollar bills. But then he ordered you not to do it again, and you did. At that point, you were saying a big "F**k you" to the judge. And even then he had the patience to cut you some more slack, and you flipped him (the judge) off again. I don't suppose any of this is a surprise to you, but was it really the judge you were striking out against?

 

I don't hold any sympathy for your ex, and if it was worth it to you for all the costs and doing the jail time, to "strike a blow", then more power to you. But as 2sunny pointed out, did you really end up with more power, or less?

 

"Power" ? What power? He & his lawyer say dance monkey, dance or go to jail.. Usually I just bend over & take it. This time I went cheerfully to jail & will do so again anytime." Freedom's just another word for saying you've got nothing left to lose" and frankly I don't. I'm sick of looking at man, sick of the games he plays with the court ordered add on's for his medical bills, sick of being hauled into court for BS reasons?

 

I'm just done, totally done! As far as the ex goes he looked totally stunned when I laughed & smiled when thanking the judge for sending me to jail. As the court officers were handcuffing me I thanked them too,said I hadn't had a vacation for years and was looking forward to it. When we returned to court this morning I insisted on wearing my orange jumpsuit & declined the opportunity to don professional street clothing.

 

The look on the ex's face was amazing, he was clearly shocked that I wasn't upset in the slightest over being sent to jail. Truth be told when given the choice between having to deal with him or spend the rest of my life in prison, well prison is preferable by a long shot

Edited June 14, 2012 by soserious1

[soserious1]

I gotta admit, I'd be so tempted to plant this guy under a mall parking lot or move to Brazil.

 

I have no desire to hurt anyone, nor to lose contact with my family by moving to some faraway foreign country. I want to put together a settlement package so good that he will agree to it legally & then just fade away.

[Tiberius]

I live in an expensive urban area, this house is worth more than the figure you've listed.

 

As far as the rest goes, I can't just pay the alimony and forget about it, he has me in court on average once every 3 months over one BS thing after another.

 

I want to quit my job, give up everything I own & just vanish into obscurity, I want to propose a settlement offer that will be too good for him to pass up.

 

If you have that good of an income, why dont you get expensive legal aid? At the very least he can stall, making it necessarry to require more court appointments, making it expensive for him to legally harass you. Or is he loaded as well and wouldnt care about spending extra money?

 

What is his financial situation? Would the kind of money you can offer be an incentive for him to begin with? If that is not the case and he prefers to be a pain you are going to have to think of ways to psychoblock him, so he doesnt get any satisfaction.

 

I believe actuarial tables give him longer life than 75.

 

Okay 75,02 years I was off by 2 months, which puts America for life expectancy of males at 48th place, a couple of places behind cuba where men age to almost 76, most of Europe (yes that includes eastern Europe). Interestingly Andorra a small city-state on the border of France and Spain takes the lead, with 80 years. Now I want to know what is in that Vino.

Edited June 14, 2012 by Tiberius

[Trimmer]

Just curious...did you ask the judge specifically which law/statute you broke by paying your ex in $1 bills? Doesn't it say on the bill "legal tender for all debts"?

 

What you did was obviously not in the "spirit" of his ruling, but well within the "letter of the law". You paid your debt, legally. I honestly don't understand how/why the judge could have ordered you "not to do it again".

 

The contempt of court...I get. That's because you violated his order. But...I don't know that his first order was lawful to begin with. Have you asked your attorney?

 

Had the same thought. I was wondering if the first order wasn't really a legal "order" but a suggestion from the judge to try to cool things down. Maybe that's why he wasn't going to throw her away - initially - for paying in pennies the second time around (because she had only ignored his suggestion, and not broken an "order".) But then, after getting yet some more latitude from the judge (he was going to let her go, even about paying in pennies...), she mouthed off about the new pennies vs. the dirty ex. How many times can you flip off the judge himself before he has enough of the disrespect? He probably started out sympathetic (he didn't penalize her for the dollar bills, and wasn't going to penalize her for the pennies), but she kept pushing and backed him into a corner.

 

"Power" ? What power? He & his lawyer say dance monkey, dance or go to jail.. Usually I just bend over & take it. This time I went cheerfully to jail & will do so again anytime." Freedom's just another word for saying you've got nothing left to lose" and frankly I don't. I'm sick of looking at man, sick of the games he plays with the court ordered add on's for his medical bills, sick of being hauled into court for BS reasons?

 

I'm just done, totally done! As far as the ex goes he looked totally stunned when I laughed & smiled when thanking the judge for sending me to jail. As the court officers were handcuffing me I thanked them too,said I hadn't had a vacation for years and was looking forward to it. When we returned to court this morning I insisted on wearing my orange jumpsuit & declined the opportunity to don professional street clothing.

 

The look on the ex's face was amazing, he was clearly shocked that I wasn't upset in the slightest over being sent to jail. Truth be told when given the choice between having to deal with him or spend the rest of my life in prison, well prison is preferable by a long shot

Hey, as long as it works for you, then you go girl...

 

I get the "thank you sir, may I have another" approach, I do. But it's an approach that intentionally increases your aggravation, and that's only rational if you are doing it to achieve a larger goal. And maybe there is one, but I'm not sure what your larger goal is here.

 

If mystifying your ex is highly satisfying to you, then I guess that's good enough. But that's about the only effect you're having, as he's still depositing the same amount of your money in the bank (really - were the pennies more than a minor inconvenience?) and probably getting his own kind of satisfaction about the judge putting you in jail - after all, that's his role in this game that you two are playing, right? - and you're playing your part and delivering the goods right into his hands. If your "bigger goal" is to strike any kind of a blow upon him, then what you are doing is like draping one strip of T.P. across his mailbox and running away in delight as if you vandalized his entire house, and it comes at a significant price in your own time, money and aggravation.

 

So I don't question that he's a no-good, dirty, rotten scumbag, who doesn't deserve your support, etc. But now you've turned this fight with him into a fight between you and the court. It's costing you, and it's not really costing him, and since he likes to drag you into court, then far from being a negative, he may actually be getting off on it! Is that really getting you where you want to be?

Edited June 14, 2012 by Trimmer

[soserious1]

Had the same thought. I was wondering if the first order wasn't really a legal "order" but a suggestion from the judge to try to cool things down. Maybe that's why he wasn't going to throw her away - initially - for paying in pennies the second time around (because she had only ignored his suggestion, and not broken an "order".) But then, after getting yet some more latitude from the judge (he was going to let her go, even about paying in pennies...), she mouthed off about the new pennies vs. the dirty ex. How many times can you flip off the judge himself before he has enough of the disrespect? He probably started out sympathetic (he didn't penalize her for the dollar bills, and wasn't going to penalize her for the pennies), but she kept pushing and backed him into a corner.

 

 

Hey, as long as it works for you, then you go girl...

 

I get the "thank you sir, may I have another" approach, I do. But it's an approach that intentionally increases your aggravation, and that's only rational if you are doing it to achieve a larger goal. And maybe there is one, but I'm not sure what your larger goal is here.

 

If mystifying your ex is highly satisfying to you, then I guess that's good enough. But that's about the only effect you're having, as he's still depositing the same amount of your money in the bank (really - were the pennies more than a minor inconvenience?) and probably getting his own kind of satisfaction about the judge putting you in jail - after all, that's his side of the game, right, and you're delivering the goods right into his hands. If the bigger goal is to strike a blow upon him, that's like draping one strip of T.P. across his mailbox and running away in delight, at the price of your own time, money and aggravation.

 

So I don't question that he's a no-good, dirty, rotten scumbag, who doesn't deserve your support, etc. But now you've turned this fight with him into a fight between you and the court. It's costing you, and it's not really costing him, and since he likes to drag you into court, then far from being a negative, he may actually be getting off on it! Is that really getting you where you want to be?

 

I want this situation to be OVER! I need suggestions for how to put together settlement offer so good my ex won't refuse it.

 

 

He can literally have everything I own, seriously, I just want this to be over.