Spent a few days in jail, what next?

[scatterd]

What you did is so funny.I thought money is money no matter how you pay it.

[fucpcg]

We must all live with our choices. You once chose to marry the guy, now you must deal with the consequences of your action. Getting yourslef thrown in jail is childish and self damaging. All he had to do was bring the money to the bank, hand to them, exhcnage for larger bills. That showed him what exactly?? I'm reminded of a quote I once heard "hostility cannot think intellectually". If you want your situation to improve, stop distracting yourself with self damaging, not acomplishing anything actions like paying in dollars, and go deal with the consequences of your actions, and reslove them, then don't make the same mistake again. Starting over sucks I know I've had to do it, a couple times because I partnered with the wrong guy in a business. Once I ran myself and the company into bankruptcy because it was necessary to start over, so that's what I did, and when it was over I started over the next day. I can't go back, but I can't go forward either if I don't stop trying to fight over a mistake I made that is holding me back. Go forward, and use your brain when you do, not your emotions.

[nofool4u]

I just got out of jail after being held for contempt of court. Long story short, I sent my ex his monthly alimony payment in one dollar bills, yes $2,750 one dollar bills for two months, he hauled me back into court,the judge ordered me to not do that again. I sent last month's alimony payment in rolled pennies, had FedEx deliver it.

 

I'm tired of my post divorce life & am considering just letting everything go, let them take my house,seize my assets & put me in jail. I feel like a slave, putting on my high heel steppers every day to get out there and earn the money to pay my pimp.

 

What do you think the judge would do if I went back to court and offered to surrender everything, my house, all bank accounts & my half of my 401k just to end this misery for all time?

 

I think I'd rather be homeless or in prison than to have to keep dealing with. my ex and his jerk of a lawyer. What should I do, how can I best approach my ex to consider taking everything in exchange for never having to deal with him ever again?

 

Well its ridiculous that you, or anyone, should have to pay alimony.

 

How long do you have to pay this? I know once he is married it ends, but is it like a set number of years? I've always heard its about 5 years for the x-spouse to find gainful employment, and in 5 years if they can't, too bad for them.

[nofool4u]

The alimony is for life, he's over age 55

 

Ah, ok, that answers that question.

 

 

and is disabled due to a "bad back"

 

Then he should be getting disability.

 

 

He's always had a hard on over my home & has said countless times that he'd give anything to see me forced sign it over to him. I'm beginning to think that just offering him what he wants might be the way to go.

 

First off, his disabled status is probably a load of crap and he is just plain lazy(correct me if I'm wrong).

 

Too bad you can't get him on tape as saying something like this. It shows he is purely vindictive, selfish, and a downright piece of sh*t. If I had a bad back, there are tons of jobs I can do, just none involving heavy lifting. I think people claiming disabled status and getting disability is a crock of crap in most cases. There is always a job someone can do that doesn't involve physical activity.

[soserious1]

We must all live with our choices. You once chose to marry the guy, now you must deal with the consequences of your action. Getting yourslef thrown in jail is childish and self damaging. All he had to do was bring the money to the bank, hand to them, exhcnage for larger bills. That showed him what exactly?? I'm reminded of a quote I once heard "hostility cannot think intellectually". If you want your situation to improve, stop distracting yourself with self damaging, not acomplishing anything actions like paying in dollars, and go deal with the consequences of your actions, and reslove them, then don't make the same mistake again. Starting over sucks I know I've had to do it, a couple times because I partnered with the wrong guy in a business. Once I ran myself and the company into bankruptcy because it was necessary to start over, so that's what I did, and when it was over I started over the next day. I can't go back, but I can't go forward either if I don't stop trying to fight over a mistake I made that is holding me back. Go forward, and use your brain when you do, not your emotions.

 

 

 

I requested help putting together a new settlement offer that would get this man & his lawyer out of my face once and for all. Your pontificating does not qualify as a potential settlement offer so please spare me your comments about how I must continue to "pay" for my mistakes.

[soserious1]

Ah, ok, that answers that question.

 

 

 

 

Then he should be getting disability.

 

 

 

 

First off, his disabled status is probably a load of crap and he is just plain lazy(correct me if I'm wrong).

 

Too bad you can't get him on tape as saying something like this. It shows he is purely vindictive, selfish, and a downright piece of sh*t. If I had a bad back, there are tons of jobs I can do, just none involving heavy lifting. I think people claiming disabled status and getting disability is a crock of crap in most cases. There is always a job someone can do that doesn't involve physical activity.

 

Don't even get me started about the disability thing, lol!

 

My beef is not with the alimony, it's a fairly substantial bite, particularly when you look at the add on's but the real issue is the fact that he can't just cash his check every month, send me the bills for his co-pays & be done with it like a normal person. His constantly dragging me to court for BS makes it impossible to plan much & hard to forget that he exists.

[nofool4u]

Don't even get me started about the disability thing, lol!

 

Do you know if he does things in public that can be caught on tape, then showing this to an attorney? Not only would it get the gov't on his arse about faking disability, and losing those payments, a judge may reverse the alimony, citing he is fit to hold employment.(like he couldn't have anyway...bad back, phffft)

 

 

My beef is not with the alimony, it's a fairly substantial bite, particularly when you look at the add on's but the real issue is the fact that he can't just cash his check every month, send me the bills for his co-pays & be done with it like a normal person.

 

Send you a bill for copays? Uh, that should come out of alimony. How did that happen?

 

 

His constantly dragging me to court for BS makes it impossible to plan much & hard to forget that he exists.

 

Geez, I wish sometimes I was a judge. I'd be looking at your X and saying, "ok, I'm getting real tired of your bullsh*t" You are getting alimony, and disability. Pay YOUR expenses out of those and quit harassing your X"

[soserious1]

It doesn't sound like your attorney is doing a great job for you. Has he/she offered up any alternatives to help you solve this?

 

Where do you live that alimony still exists? That's terrible to have such a financial burden that stops you from being able to retire. Don't arrangements take into account that you would be retiring someday?

 

Sounds like you need a better lawyer!

 

My lawyer is actually good, the problem is two fold here.. My ex's lawyer is very aggressive, looking to make a name among Father's/ Men's rights groups & Judges here use cases like mine as examples to prove that they aren't biased in favor of women whenever men howl about the unfairness of alimony/ child support laws here. Add in that the ex is over 55 & disabled & there was no way I was walking away from this marriage without digging deep into my wallet.

[nofool4u]

My lawyer is actually good, the problem is two fold here.. My ex's lawyer is very aggressive, looking to make a name among Father's/ Men's rights groups & Judges here use cases like mine as examples to prove that they aren't biased in favor of women whenever men howl about the unfairness of alimony/ child support laws here. Add in that the ex is over 55 & disabled & there was no way I was walking away from this marriage without digging deep into my wallet.

 

Sounds like his lawyer isn't making a case for men, but rather for lazy bastards that will use "bad back" to get out of even the most non physically grueling jobs.

 

Your X is a piece of sh*t.

[soserious1]

Do you know if he does things in public that can be caught on tape, then showing this to an attorney? Not only would it get the gov't on his arse about faking disability, and losing those payments, a judge may reverse the alimony, citing he is fit to hold employment.(like he couldn't have anyway...bad back, phffft)

 

 

 

 

Send you a bill for copays? Uh, that should come out of alimony. How did that happen?

 

 

 

 

Geez, I wish sometimes I was a judge. I'd be looking at your X and saying, "ok, I'm getting real tired of your bullsh*t" You are getting alimony, and disability. Pay YOUR expenses out of those and quit harassing your X"

 

His co-pays amounts don 't just cover the cost of insurance, they include office visits, therapies, medications & expensive tests like frequent MRI & CAT scan. These costs vary from month to month & because of this bills need to be sent to me.

 

As far as all the rest, I am a realist, what employer is going to hire a man over age 55, with medical issues who worked in a blue collar job all his life to perform a desk job that he has no skills for? We have young people with recent college degrees who cannot get jobs.

 

I don't mind paying (too much) I do mind the constant hassles though & just want this man & his legal mouthpiece to fade to black, lol!

[soserious1]

Sounds like his lawyer isn't making a case for men, but rather for lazy bastards that will use "bad back" to get out of even the most non physically grueling jobs.

 

Your X is a piece of sh*t.

 

Sigh, there a lot of those out there & in divorce courts unfortunately so far, most of them have been women. Cases like mine give divorced men a chance to feel like they've "gotten even" in a way.

[nofool4u]

Well, then the most you could hope for I guess is that he croaks soon.

[soserious1]

Hire a firm with a forensic accountant to give you financial advise regarding your existing assets and how to hang on to them. Do what they suggest verbally regardless of their written advice. They know how to hide money.

 

When I hired my divorce attorney, I also retained a criminal attorney not because I wanted representation but because I wanted advice. They know how to make anyone , including your ex, look like a criminal.

 

When you have nothing left to lose...go for it all.

 

Of everything I've read so far, your advice rings most strongly with me, I'll be looking into forensic accountants come Monday, along with a criminal attorney. Thank you!

[soserious1]

Well, then the most you could hope for I guess is that he croaks soon.

 

What I can hope for is a renegotiated settlement or a situation where he is required to submit his medical bills to a 3rd party approved by the court to put an end to his nonsense.

[nofool4u]

And if you can, get video of him that may show he aint all disabled as he plays.

 

Does he get out and do anything he shouldn't be doing, like mowing a lawn, does he have to walk with a cane, or can he walk without any aides and not at a slow, in-pain like way?

 

It amazes me at the people that say they are disabled, and its obvious they can get around just fine.

[Tiberius]

Sigh, there a lot of those out there & in divorce courts unfortunately so far, most of them have been women. Cases like mine give divorced men a chance to feel like they've "gotten even" in a way.

 

No its more like it gives the 99% of women who end up on top in a divorce the possibility to point to the 1% of men who end up on top and say with glee, "see it happens to women too, the system is fair".

 

My lawyer is actually good, the problem is two fold here.. My ex's lawyer is very aggressive, looking to make a name among Father's/ Men's rights groups & Judges here use cases like mine as examples to prove that they aren't biased in favor of women whenever men howl about the unfairness of alimony/ child support laws here. Add in that the ex is over 55 & disabled & there was no way I was walking away from this marriage without digging deep into my wallet.

 

 

I swear I saw that after the above post . Guess it isnt women who try to valididate the system with the rare ex wife who pays in divorce, although many will jump on that bus, but more the people who are part of the system. With more women than men getting the better jobs in the future, the system needs to give men the idea they can divorce "successfully", so they file when the wife wont, or there will be less divorces=less money.

 

Who filed in your case?

Edited June 15, 2012 by Tiberius

[fucpcg]

I requested help putting together a new settlement offer that would get this man & his lawyer out of my face once and for all. Your pontificating does not qualify as a potential settlement offer so please spare me your comments about how I must continue to "pay" for my mistakes.

 

Yes, you poor innocent victim you. Wow, sounds like you two were a great couple. But enough of my pontificating, go back to getting yourself thrown in jail again. You show'em girl!

[soserious1]

Yes, you poor innocent victim you. Wow, sounds like you two were a great couple. But enough of my pontificating, go back to getting yourself thrown in jail again. You show'em girl!

 

Actually I enjoyed being jail, it was better than having to go to work & certainly better than being married ever was

[Furious]

Actually I enjoyed being jail, it was better than having to go to work & certainly better than being married ever was

 

 

How was the food?

 

Don't give him a settlement, money down the drain.

Sell the house and go to Vegas instead, might as well lose the money in a casino, at least you'd have fun with it before it's gone and scum bag gets nothing.

Hell for all you know you might win a jackpot, and then put in Swiss bank account. Lol

Edited June 16, 2012 by Furious
Correction

[soserious1]

How was the food?

 

Don't give him a settlement, money down the drain.

Sell the house and go to Vegas instead, might as well lose the money in a casino, at least you'd have fun with it before it's gone and scum bag gets nothing.

Hell for all you know you might win a jackpot, and then put in Swiss bank account. Lol

 

The food was definitely meh, cold cuts slammed between white bread kind of stuff. The guards & other prisoners were a fascinating bunch though, it really was a valuable experience in a lot of ways. I feel like I can & will resolve this issue legally but I will take back some of my own power in the process.

[Furious]

The food was definitely meh, cold cuts slammed between white bread kind of stuff. The guards & other prisoners were a fascinating bunch though, it really was a valuable experience in a lot of ways. I feel like I can & will resolve this issue legally but I will take back some of my own power in the process.

 

If you decide to go to the slammer again, let me know and I'll bring you a lasagna and a cake with a file in it.

 

Seriously though...I think you're doing the right thing.

[Trimmer]

Seriously though...I think you're doing the right thing.

--- that's the "taking back my power" thing, not the "F**k you, your honor, go ahead and throw my ass back in jail so I can eat more of those delicious cold cut sandwiches" thing.

 

Just so we're clear which "thing" we're encouraging her to do more of...

[trippi1432]

I like your Kahuna's SoSerious and I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing if I were in your shoes.

 

It's a mute point to mention pre-nupt considering, but I've seen way too many women like you get brought down like this, even in a non-alimony state. There are as many $$ predatory men out there as there are $$ predatory women.

 

The cha-ching comes with a package....and it isn't a free poke at a bank account.

[soserious1]

--- that's the "taking back my power" thing, not the "F**k you, your honor, go ahead and throw my ass back in jail so I can eat more of those delicious cold cut sandwiches" thing.

 

Just so we're clear which "thing" we're encouraging her to do more of...

 

ROTFLMAO!

 

I hate cold cuts, truly I do

[soserious1]

I like your Kahuna's SoSerious and I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing if I were in your shoes.

 

It's a mute point to mention pre-nupt considering, but I've seen way too many women like you get brought down like this, even in a non-alimony state. There are as many $$ predatory men out there as there are $$ predatory women.

 

The cha-ching comes with a package....and it isn't a free poke at a bank account.

 

There's an old saying that goes roughly like this " if you're slow, you blow" well I was slow in not insisting on a pre-nup & I have no problem taking the fiscal hit for that. What I'm totally suck of though is the BS that never ends with this man.

 

Let me give an example, I decided to have the alimony deducted from my paycheck & paid directly into his bank account electronically. He agreed, gave me routing numbers etc. Flash forward a couple of months, I return from a job assignment overseas where I had miminal access to any sort of electronics. This man got a few payments then closed his account & changed banks. Guess who got hauled into court less than 48 hours after I got back into the country? The issue was cleared up quickly but these are the kinds of stunts I've been dealing with here.