To Tony - Update - A Laughing Matter?

[Cassie]

Tony,

 

Just wanted to give you an update on the post RE: A laughing matter. You were so right about my anger being

 

a delayed reaction. Yesterday, was his birthday, and I emailed him a letter, and let him have it with both barrels

 

loaded!!! I went back through the entire "relationship" and

 

pointed out all the lies he told me, how he let me down when

 

I needed him the most, etc. Yes, I called him a few choice names too. And, you know what? It felt so good!!! And I know in my heart that I am totally healed and ready to move

 

on and find someone worth loving, and someone who will return that love, and not build a relationship on fraud and

 

lies.

 

I do want to comment on the lady who wrote about the long

 

distance man she thinks is perfect. This so-called relationship I had started the same way. Everything seemed so perfect - so right - and it was a long distance one too.

 

I would just caution her to check out whatever she can find

 

out about him. I moved to be closer to my guy, and he turned out to be a real ahole in reality. People can tell you anything over the internet, and hide behind their keyboards. Even meeting in person doesn't tell the whole story or the phone calls. They don't take the place of seeing that person in real-life day to day situations. And, you never know what they are doing because they live in a

 

different city.

 

I've learned a valuable lesson in life, the hard way. But, I also believe that most things we go through in life are for our learning experience - at least in the perspective of

 

learning from them.

 

I no longer want to hear from him, and have any contact with him whatsoever. He told me some man would be so lucky to have me in his life. I can't honestly say that another woman would be lucky to have him in her life. In fact, I would want to warn another woman about him if I could. Not that she might listen, because she would think I would just

 

be jealous. I certainly wouldn't wish what I went through, and the hurt and pain caused me on anyone.

 

By the way, I had become friends with his sister, and found out he has told her some lies too. He has a real problem, and it's no longer my problem.

 

Keep up the good work on Loveshack. If we can help each other in relationships - then it isn't in vain!!!

[Tony T]

Unfortunately, this website is one place where being right is NOT always pleasant. I am glad you were helped by my thoughts and truly grateful for your acknowledgment.

 

The most difficult thing we do in love is to cut it off, say goodbye, cut our losses and move on. Our first desire is just to let things go on from day to day, hoping they will get better.

 

Facing the fact that the "perfect" person we just met, who just HAS to be our soulmate, might be our worst nightmare is not something that most people want to consider. They have to learn the hard way. We are the ONLY animal on the planet that deludes itself. Dogs do not imagine bones. Cats never imagine fish. But we can see many things in others that are not there...because we want to.

 

Love can be painful. But, actually, I think that's good. Love is as much about learning about life as loving another person. I think a real part of love is getting bruised and even broken up by it. That makes us really appreciate the REAL thing when it comes along. And, if you want to know the truth, the less perfect the REAL thing is, the BETTER it is.

 

It's really hard to love perfection, because we are always terrified that our beloved's humanity will suddenly surface and be ugly.

 

As Richard Bach said in his novel, "Jonathon Livingston Seagul," "Perfect speed is being there." If you are already there, no need for perfect speed. Something to think about.