So FED UP and .. Does he love me or not? !! s needed..

[confusedheartlessbxt]

I will try and make this short.. sorry for the lengthy vent..

I have known this guy now for 5years.. basically my entire adult life. We started out as a couple but when I found out he was a complete ass I cut him off and HE called and apologized and we became best friends. I know him so well. We were so tight, he used to give me a daily log of the females he used to **** and dump. Anyway.. we went on a double date and HE expressed that he loved me and blah la la. So I didn't realize until that moment that I felt the same lame ass way. Omg.. then the confusion began. So after two years of being friends, he AND his girl at the time had a baby. And after that, we became intimate.. sounds crazy but I EVEN rode with him to his baby mother's house.. anyway.. later that year we made It official but it was difficult bc he had just found out the baby wasn't his and she was still getting half of his check for child support so I broke it off seeing that he needs time. And HE agreed saying he loves me and one day we will be. Anyway. Throughout the past 3 years, we have been functioning as a married couple.. dates.. sex.. spending Days and Days together without intimacy (so its not about sex). He cooks for me.. washes.My car.. buys me things.. and so on. Last year he made it clear that we were only friends.. needless to say I was hurt, but I sucked it up and cut his ass off. But he came back to me. And we were back to the married couple **** again. Not long after.. he gives me this beautiful ring.. why? Idk.. but I never wear it around him.. we are only friends remember? And HE looks for it on my hand often.. and I never wear it on the ring finger.. So recently I cut him off after I had a bad attitude one day and it irked his nerves (HA!!) So he texts me like oh we are only friends and blah blah.. so I was like fuq it. We can be done with each other.. and then the confusion. He thought I was cutting him off to be with someone else. He even cried. WTF? Why are you crying or so caring if YOU are only my "friend"? I could CARE LESS ABOUT losing a friend. FEel me? So we are back to us again but everytime I'm around, he treats me like "wifey". Just this week he asked me to move with him and I was like I have to get a new job first and he was like, you don't have to work and you better not take up all the counterspace in the bathroom.. huh? I thought I was your friend buddy.. lol. And he told me that I better not ever cut him off again.. Family gatherings..I'm there.. club nights.. check.. so one day some bitch calls his phone and that has made me SO jealous and I hate thinking about what tha **** he does when he isn't around me.. but now I don't CARE. I'm like **** it. But he never talks to the chick around me and the one time he did pick up.for her.. he was rude and HE said wtf does this bitch want before he picked it up.. and I act just like it doesn't bother me but when I unlock my phone he is already asking what I'm doing.. I want to believe that one day I will be the one he marries. My mom likes him and his mom likes me. But I'm confused.. what do you THINk? Should I just let go for now or for Good? I'm not looking for commitment right now but I want him in the future after I graduate and get settled.. my situation is complicated.. but if I have to move on I'm cool with that but I love him so much.. he is like the only man I want and need but at the same time I will not allow him to hurt me. Ps.. every form of contact is initiated by him.. I never contact him first and I always give him space.. maybe I'm more mature than him. Think we are on different levels right now. No man attracts me.. I only have eyes for him.. ugh

Edited June 15, 2012 by confusedheartlessbxt

[Vodka]

It sounds like he is into you but you really have to decide what YOU want. You cant waste his time if you aren't interested in a relationship with him.

[confusedheartlessbxt]

I really want to.. just don't want to be a fool.. It's scary. Thank you very much for your input. I greatly appreciate it. :]