Are you FB friends with your OM/OW?

[TooInvolved2]

Being Facebook friends with an AP doesn't necessarily mean risk unless you use it for private messaging and posting to and "liking" posts/pics on each other's walls.

 

Are you under the impression that MM friending you on Facebook would mean MM wants that "serious relationship" you said you're after? Like he would be taking a risk just for you?

No, that wasn't my thinking at all.

 

I was thinking more about what if an OM/OW gets pissed and decides to out the A to the BS (if the BS is FB friends with the WS)? It could be all kinds of messy.

[imperfectangel]

Yes we're friends on FB. MM and I were friends first and I live part-time with him and W, she's my friend on FB too, so it would be strange if we weren't. Ours is a stupidly complex A where she has 0 clue and it's staring right at her

 

 

I'm sorry but from your posts you don't sound like a nice person it's one thing to have an affair it's another to giggle and laugh at the mm's wife and parade it right in front of her

[Silly_Girl]

I don't do this either and never plan to...until I'm married, then I'll put that I'm married but until then, if you know me in real life, you know if I'm in a relationship or not, don't need to put up a status about it.

 

Why do you plan to change your rule just because you get married, if you don't mind me asking? As you say, anyone who is a part of your life would know you've got wed

[MissBee]

Why do you plan to change your rule just because you get married, if you don't mind me asking? As you say, anyone who is a part of your life would know you've got wed

 

The rule is specifically for dating relationships. My take on it is that boyfriends/dating relationships are more transient setups than marriages and until I'm in a more permanent setup, then I don't feel the need to change my status and have people liking, commenting or discussing my latest beau, who may or may not be around in the next few months.The FB status thing is just one of the group of little and big things that I don't feel comfortable doing unless we've taken the relationship to a certain level of commitment and I feel it is stable. Obviously, if I marry you, then we've taken that step, whereas, if we're just dating, then it's still not solidified for me.

 

I find it annoying when other people on FB who, as they serially date, they change statuses left and right. In a relationship now, next 3 months, single then all the questions, comments and likes come in. I don't like that so to avoid that, I prefer if we're just dating and the relationship is still not a permanent fixture, that I don't publicly announce it, as FB really is a public announcement and one way that social media changes how things operate. It's crazy, as 10 years ago, no one would be discussing the politics of FB relationship statuses, but in this day and age, it becomes necessary along with other FB etiquette questions. Before social media, if you were dating, you just told your friends, not announce it, in writing, on a website for all to see and comment on as it pops up on their feed. When you broke up you didn't have to go change a status for all to see and comment on either.

 

Marriage for me, is that rite of passage that's the public announcement that you've decided to be coupled with this person and have settled down to make a life with them in what you hope is a permanent partnership, and it comes with the process of changing last names, wearing rings, having a ceremony (if you so choose). It's always been a public symbol, so in this new technological world of Facebook, for me, the only relationship I want publicly announced via that medium is my marriage, which would be publicly announced anyway. I'd wear the status like I'd wear my wedding band.

Edited June 21, 2012 by MissBee

[TooInvolved2]

FB outing is the least of your worries. She didn't need FB and it was messy as hell.

I'm not sure what you mean. Which "she" are you referring to?