Stoneman70 Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 I'm curious to know if you said I love you in your affair, how soon, and who said it first? For me, I said it first...and it was in the first month. I told S all the time that I loved her, each time we got off the phone, and each time we saw each other. You? Link to post Share on other sites
skylarblue Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 I brought up the “I love you” subject, but xMM said it first. Honestly, I thought bringing up “love” would frighten him. I thought things were getting out of control, and I didn’t think he was becoming as emotionally invested as I was. I actually thought if he knew how I was starting to feel for him, it would send him running to the hills. I asked xMM what would he do if I fell in love with him. He responded “you don’t already. I’m in love with you”, and I reciprocated. From then on, he would tell me he loved me all of the time, everyday. It actually caught me quite off guard at first. It was 5yrs before it happened. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 He said it first, a year into it. We were having a conversation and he asked me if I thought he loved me...I don't remember what I said honestly, then we ended the conversation. He called me back a few hours later and in the middle of the conversation he said he loved me and he felt it way before, but was just now saying it. Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 xMW looked at me and said, "I think I'm falling for you, I know you probably don't feel the same." I looked at her and said "I actually do." She was the first to say "I love you" and this happened in the first month after us building up for over a year. Ironically, or maybe not so, she was the first to tell me to leave her alone once H started paying attention to her. Link to post Share on other sites
East7 Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 (edited) She was the first to seduce me but I was the first to say ILY to xMW. I fell head over heels and I couldn't help telling her Edited June 17, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
maysapphires Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 He said it.. half way into the second month maybe, and I said it back. We say it daily, anytime we hang up the phone or leave each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 It was a couple of months into the A....xMM said it first...and I WAS FLOORED! WOW! Now....He is still doing everything to stay Married......What a Joke! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stoneman70 Posted June 17, 2012 Author Share Posted June 17, 2012 I told S within the first month, but she didn't say it back until month 3...I just couldn't help telling her, but I think it scared her a little. Link to post Share on other sites
Radagast Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 I'm curious to know if you said I love you in your affair, how soon, and who said it first? For me, I said it first...and it was in the first month. I told S all the time that I loved her, each time we got off the phone, and each time we saw each other. You? When I was the "other man" I don't recall either of us saying it. She did say she needed me and she wanted me to take care of her, and I promised to do that, and then she came and lived with me and some years later we got married. I can't remember us ever saying that, and she wasn't into any kind of display of affection so it would have seemed inappropriate. When I was the unfaithful spouse I was the first to say it. I think we both acknowledged that things had changed and we needed to discuss that and what we were wanting. People around us were commenting on how "in love" we were and then it just slipped out. Since then we haven't stopped saying it. And I never tire of hearing her say it. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 I'm curious to know if you said I love you in your affair, how soon, and who said it first? IME, with MW's, it was me who said ILY first, but that has been true in every relationship simply because it's my style. When I feel it, I express it. Timing would depend on circumstances. I have no 'rule of thumb' in such matters. With one MW, I waited until she was ostensibly separated, which was a couple of years after we first expressed mutual interest in each other. With others, more immediately. It's not something I'm going to change (expressing what I feel), but I now select out of growing such feelings for MW's or women who have any ambiguity about their relationship status. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stoneman70 Posted June 17, 2012 Author Share Posted June 17, 2012 Thanks for everyone's replies. I just like to see what everyone else experienced in their own situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Breathless Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 My xMM said it first. He whispered it right after our first kiss. I thought I heard him wrong so I just did not acknowledge it. After almost a minute of awkward silence - he apologized for making me uncomfortable but not for saying what he felt. I just smiled and said good night. It was a few months later that I said I love you. We only said it a few times during the whole A and only during emotional arguments and/or discussions. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 My xMM said it first. He whispered it right after our first kiss. I thought I heard him wrong so I just did not acknowledge it. After almost a minute of awkward silence - he apologized for making me uncomfortable but not for saying what he felt. I just smiled and said good night. It was a few months later that I said I love you. We only said it a few times during the whole A and only during emotional arguments and/or discussions. How long after you knew him did you have your first kiss? Link to post Share on other sites
Confused4Now Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 My xMW said it first....I remembered it like it was yesterday. We had gotten close emotionally for about 4 months and it was Valentines day. I went to hug her and kiss her on the cheek when all of a sudden she turned her head and made contact with my lips. It actually shocked me....she then told me she loved me. A month or 2 later it became physical but that's another story. Link to post Share on other sites
Breathless Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 How long after you knew him did you have your first kiss? We were close friends and coworkers for 3 years before we crossed the "line". We spent every lunch and break together since the first day he started - we always thought it was weird how we instantly clicked when we first met. It was a Friday afternoon, I went home early - we were texting back and forth and for the first time in our friendship, we said something flirty. It opened up the convo of what we thought about each other. On Monday morning, it was completely uncomfortable between us to the point where people around us made comments about how we were acting. We decided we have to kiss to get the tension out of the way - that's it. We were foolish to think it could have stopped at just a kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 We were close friends and coworkers for 3 years before we crossed the "line". We spent every lunch and break together since the first day he started - we always thought it was weird how we instantly clicked when we first met. It was a Friday afternoon, I went home early - we were texting back and forth and for the first time in our friendship, we said something flirty. It opened up the convo of what we thought about each other. On Monday morning, it was completely uncomfortable between us to the point where people around us made comments about how we were acting. We decided we have to kiss to get the tension out of the way - that's it. We were foolish to think it could have stopped at just a kiss. Ohh okay...it's a little less strange now I imagined it was after 3 weeks of knowing him or some such that he declared his love. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 We were just talking about this. I said it first to him and it was said in the first couple months. I was laughing I don't recall where we were though when I said it I just know it was after some fantastic sex! Link to post Share on other sites
Ducky23 Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 He said it first. We had known each other 3 months, started A after about a month.. So about 2 months in W was out of town for the weekend and he was in drill, I stayed the weekend with him. He was laying on my chest rambling and out came "I have this problem.. I'm married and I love you", he rushed through it. I had to stop and go "what?" we've been together just a little over a year now, still going strong and closer than ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 He said it first and it was about a month into it. It took me a while to say it although I felt it at the same time. He emails periodically and sends flowers for a few special days even though I haven't seen him, written to him or spoken to him for a number of years. On everything he still writes it. I still love him too. Link to post Share on other sites
theSilliestFairy Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 MM said it first in a long text to me about 5 months (or so!) into our relationship. I remember feeling so happy as I'd been practically screaming it in my head when we made love but never said it out loud. Now he teases me by saying "I loved you first" when I say "I love you more" First kiss - erm.... about three months after the first lot of texts. That has become our anniversary. 22/12/2009 Link to post Share on other sites
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