supermom Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 I've been thinking about the subject of the OW/OM and remember some of the harsh posts that I have submitted, NOT THINKING that I am not perfect. I want to apologize to the OW, especially Mr. Spock, NubianAngel, and DAYANDNIGHT, not that I condone it, and really if you're proud instead of me saying "how horrible you are" I should say that it hurts me. I was an OW for a day, with my ex husband (we were still legally married at the time but with other people) and we really hurt our now spouses. Ironically we all ended up friends, and I GOT WHAT I DESERVED in the end anyway. OW's, please read me attached post, so you can see where I was comming from. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t32729/ I realize that when we get upset about something someone is doing..it is quite possible that it is something within ourselves that we do not like. I do not like the fact that I did this to my bf (now husband). I got what I deserve because at the time my ex's gf (now wife) was preg....then my husband (he did this after we were married) cheated on me when I was preg. THIS WAS KARMA and ironically, I am good friends with my ex's now wife....and I think it was because she was the OW in my marriage to him. At the time I was thinking....well if she could do it to me...then f*&k her, I'll do it to her not thinking I was really hurting my husband, who in turn, cheated on my w/ my sister's friend because he felt that all the sudden he wasn't over it, and if he could "hook up" with her, he'd get over it, all in all he says he tried to take care of it in the wrong way. I am hurting still....that's why I come across bitter to all the other OW's on this forum....but am I perfect? Nobody is. I feel terrible still, terrible for the hurt that I caused and the hurt that I feel being the cheated on wife, in the dark.... Sorry girls, I will try not to be so mean...... Supermom P.S. I even chose my username supermom because I was so bitter when I posted that link I was thinking here I am preg w/ his kid and he does this!! Okay I'll stop ranting on..... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 Oh supermom, you're not as bitter as some. Thank your lucky stars he didn't end up sleeping with her-the one thing he has going for him is he confessed. BUT, reading the part where she said he said he didn't think the baby was his? Probably true-I'm glad you both are trying to work things out, but I'd have his nuts in a vice the next time (or if) you get pregnant. Link to post Share on other sites
Nubianangel Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 Supermom, No need to apologize, you weren't half as bad as some. At the time I understood what you were trying to do but fought against it, you were using tough love to get through. I think you became frustrated when it seemed we weren't listening but I think a lot of us were as you can see from the recent outcomes. IMO, a lot of the women here have dealt with similar situations such as yours (being cheated on) and talking to or shouting at the OW on this board is theraputic in some ways, just as it is for us OW or former OW to tell our stories. I'm sorry that you continue to hurt, seeing a professional therapist might be a good idea. Being a mom, this is guilt and pain you could do without. Hang in there! Link to post Share on other sites
Author supermom Posted July 1, 2004 Author Share Posted July 1, 2004 Thank you for your replies. My husband is adamant that he did not say that baby wasn't his and that he loves our daughter and would never think that. I am 110% sure she is my husband's child. Infact I remember the day because he always pulled out and then one day he said "Let's have a baby" and didn't pull out (he said it when he was almost "finished") so I had no time to really react, but I always wanted a baby when I was married the first time, but realized that 19 was way too young for any of that, so I wasn't quite ready at that point (I was almost divorced and 22) but I would never trade it or take it back, my daughter is #1 to me. You know, my sister was in town Father's day weekend. We were drinking and I was calling people on her cell phone and her number popped up! My first reaction was to hit "send" and it was @ 1am. She answered! I had to talk then and told her I wasn't over it, and I deal with it daily, but my quest to fight her was gone....but to stay away from my H next time or anytime we are in Idaho. She said she "still loved me" (she was like a sis, that's why it hurts so much) and I didn't know how to respond. My sister was sitting there thinking I was going to talk sh*t, but I didn't. Dont know why, cuz when I drink I can get very mouthy and cocky, but I really didn't. she did say that again about my daughter not being my husbands and so I told my husband he was a lier and he is still adamant and getting pissed that the "rumor" that he said that is still there. Oh well I guess I'll never know the truth.....I really don't know who to believe. Link to post Share on other sites
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