Ross MwcFan Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 There have been times where I've been very quiet, and other times where I've not been quiet but felt like I came off as very awkward. (Thankfully there are a LOT of times where I'm not quiet and I don't feel like I'm coming off as awkward at all). So, out of curiosity, what do you think comes across the worst, someone who hardly speaks at all, or someone who speaks enough but comes off as very awkward? Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 Someone who is awkward. At least they are trying to make the effort and most people do undertand what it is like to be nervous or why so will allow for that. Someone who just does not want to speak could come across as arrogant and rude. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Someone who hardly speaks at all comes across the worst, as that can be awkward, I like people to make an effort, even if they seem awkward. If someone says nothing to me, I don't bother either, I used to bother, but if it's one sided I don't anymore, I'm shy too, so need some effort on their part too. There have been times where I've been very quiet, and other times where I've not been quiet but felt like I came off as very awkward. (Thankfully there are a LOT of times where I'm not quiet and I don't feel like I'm coming off as awkward at all). So, out of curiosity, what do you think comes across the worst, someone who hardly speaks at all, or someone who speaks enough but comes off as very awkward? Link to post Share on other sites
GravityMan Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Both are very bad, but I guess that "hardly talking at all" is a bit worse. People who seldom talk will be branded as anti-social - someone who hates people and loathes interaction. Nobody wants to be around such a person...this person is going to be widely disliked. If the person is intelligent at the same time then he will be labeled as aloof, which is another heavily despised trait. People who are socially awkward are going to make some others feel nervous and uncomfortable to be around them. Socially awkward people often do not know how to acceptably conduct themselves in many social situations. For example, at a typical party, the expectation is to make lighthearted small talk, be inclusive, relax, and to be humorous. When the awkward person doesn't adhere to that, others may think "WTF?" and may be unsure themselves how to proceed. The person simply looks and behaves out-of-place. On the positive side, at least socially awkward people are making an effort, and some folks will recognize that and have some sympathy or can relate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 Sometimes I have been very quiet, but it's never because of not wanting to interact with people, it's just because of not knowing what to say, I'll even try racking my brains to think of something to talk about or something to just say, but nothing ever comes up. My friends used to always say 'just talk about anything'. But it's really not that easy. Link to post Share on other sites
dmmm Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Sometimes I have been very quiet, but it's never because of not wanting to interact with people, it's just because of not knowing what to say, I'll even try racking my brains to think of something to talk about or something to just say, but nothing ever comes up. My friends used to always say 'just talk about anything'. But it's really not that easy. Been there..every.single.day! Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 (edited) I think it's worse to be quiet. I say this as someone who is usually awkward. I used to be quiet all the time for fear of making a fool of myself (am still pretty quiet sometimes). But, once I get to know someone better, I'll get more comfortable and the conversations become normal. So it's all about looking at the end goal. As for everyone around me, well I really don't know if they would prefer for me to act odd or to just shut up. They seem to like me better when I'm talking. I would rather talk to someone who is a bit awkward. At least they give me something to work with when we're talking. Edited June 19, 2012 by SpiralOut 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Ask people questions about their job/interests/their town, talk about books, films, even the weather! Usually if you show interest/friendliness to someone (male or female) it will be reciprocated. Sometimes I have been very quiet, but it's never because of not wanting to interact with people, it's just because of not knowing what to say, I'll even try racking my brains to think of something to talk about or something to just say, but nothing ever comes up. My friends used to always say 'just talk about anything'. But it's really not that easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 19, 2012 Author Share Posted June 19, 2012 I think I agree, I think someone who just hardly says anything does come across worse/more loserish/weird than someone who talks enough but comes off as very awkward. So I guess it's better to just blurt out anything, no matter how stupid, than to just be a mute. Link to post Share on other sites
vk2goh Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 I personally fall into the socially awkward category. I have trouble relating to people, but I at least want to make the effort to get to know them properly and improve on areas where I went wrong I've come across as rude, blunt or angry to some of my friends, but most of the time these have been minor incidents. It's better to at least give it a shot rather than not trying at all. You never know what opportunites might open up by trying Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 What about just plain weird vs quiet? Link to post Share on other sites
olddirtyspatula Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Some people prefer the awkward ones. People who talk about the same thing as everyone else are pretty boring. That doesn't mean you should hate people for being socially comfortable. But don't get too down on yourself for being awkward. There's a charm to it. "The observations and encounters of a man of solitude and a few words are at once more nebulous and more intense than those of a gregarious man, his thoughts more ponderable, more bizarre, and never without a hint of sadness. Images and perceptions that might easily be dismissed with a glance, a laugh, an exchange of opinions occupy him unduly; they are heightened in the silence, gain in significance, turn into experience, adventure, emotion. Solitude begets originality, bold and disconcerting beauty, poetry. But solitude can also beget perversion, disparity, the absurd, and the forbidden." --Thomas Mann Link to post Share on other sites
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