deemus Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 I'm currently in a long term relationship with a man. Just recently he led me to believe he wanted a future with me and was keeping his outlook on marrige open and seemed open to future plans with me. Well I was pleased with this since we have been together for almost 4 years and the topic never came up until a few months ago. To help me further believe that he was thinking of a future with me he kept calling me Mrs. "His last name", the wife, my future wife so on so forth. We take care of each other in a domestic partnership sense (but do not live together that's another topic). Now he seems to be freaked out by the idea because of our friends asking him if he will marry me and when will we be moving in together. I have never pressured him nor will I. I've been letting the relationship take it's natural course, but found it a relief that he was open to marriage. I just don't understand why he would "toy" with the idea with me and when our friends see us happy and ask the general "when are you guys getting married?" he is now totally against it. He now tells me after four years that he is petrified of commitment and does not want to get married to anyone and that he has only loved once and never again. This came out of nowhere and I'm very confused and I don't know how to. The next day he apologized and claimed that he loved me and that he was committed to me but not our future. Sounds like I have a crazy man on my hands.. I needs some insight please Link to post Share on other sites
lydiamarie Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 have you talked to him about it? we can all guess at what is going on in his head, and we can tell you if we would stay with someone who didn't want to marry, but i think this is one of those things that you're just really going to have to through with your boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
kinziepooh Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 I know that this situation is difficult for you, the ups and downs the ins and outs of yur boyfriends moods, and you always wanting to stay in there and see if anything comes. You love him so much that you think that time will change the out come and hoe he feels right??? The sad thing is is that something has changed how he feels, the whole of his attitude has changed you can tell from the mrs this and future wife that to, i'm never getting married ever. You need to find out from him what you've done to hurt him or to cause his distrust in you, are his parents having problems are you arguing more??? Link to post Share on other sites
Tamrick Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 You need to think seriously about what you want for the relationship. If you never want to get married then its fine to continue the way you are going, but since he brought it up, he must take some responsibility now cause it sounds like he is also testing you. Once you are sure what you want you need to tell him. First off you need to tell him that he cannot do what he just did - that is totally unfair and he needs to know its unacceptable. After that you can tell him where you see the relationship heading and where you would like it to head. If he can't see you having a future together then its best to break it off now (unless you find a four year relatonship that is heading no where ok.) If he is just confused about wanting to get married, then perhaps he needs to go and sort that out either by himself or with someone else - a friend or a professional. Good luck, it sounds hard and frustrating. Link to post Share on other sites
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