Can I really be in love? Is this love??!!

[Angel]

I am having an "afair" on-line! I never thought it would be possible to have such intense feelings for a person I've never even seen and only spoken and written to.

 

We told each other things about ourselves that probably we wouldn't have talked about had we met in person because the distance has made it safe to be totally honest in our opinions and life experiences.

 

Now I just got this email from him called "my confession" and basically it states that he has never met anyone so out-of-this world in her femininity than me. He has never felt that any other woman could make him go out of control because he desires me so much that I could control him and having my picture didn't change anything a bit. That if I want he can be MINE. It is a materpiece combination of erotic writing that just blew me away!

 

I am almost persuaded now that the physical aspect of a person really isn't as important as the inner part, and even though I still haven't seen what he looks like I feel as if I don't even care anymore because of the feelings he is able to produce in me.

 

I just don't know what to think here and can't believe that all day yesterday while I was at classes and working I felt extraordinary, physical feelings of desire throughout my entire body...

 

Now, there is always the chance that this man could be a master writer and know exactly how to manipulate a woman's feelings, or else he is genuinely telling me the truth!

 

How much further can something like this go on? Next year he will be moving very close to my city for a new work position...and will be coming in a few months to set up a company.

 

Am I crazy to feel such feelings for a person I've never seen and only know their soothing voice?!!

[Tony T]

No, you are not crazy. But the feelings you have are NOT for this person you have this on-line thing with, they are for an image of what you think this person is. The feelings are self-induced based on the incredible hope that his physical presence will sustain or increase the feelings you have produced all by yourself.

 

What you feel is akin to emotions we feel when we read a novel. Word pictures are formed in our head and we react to them.

 

You are treading on really dangerous ground. Playing this head game is like playing the lottery. Yes, he could be the person you think he is. But like the lottery, the odds are against it. There will NEVER be a subsitute for in person chemistry.

 

I wouldn't waste anymore time with what you are doing. If the two of you can't arrange an in-person meeting within the next two weeks or so, you should move on with your life and meet up with him IF he actually comes near your town as he says he will.

 

People play these online games constantly and people get all caught up in them...and extremely disappointed. I do want you to know there have been lots of successes in meeting people over the Internet but also many more absolute nightmares. There is no way to have statistics but I have read more about great disappointment than I have about happiness over these types of situations.

 

You just ought to prepare yourself by making no further judgements and letting your imagination rest for a while. Save everything for your face to face meeting. If after seeing him, getting to know him, asking him questions, seeing his reactions to you, his manners, etc. you still have the intense feelings for him you have now, then marry him.

 

But right now, you are setting yourself up for great disappointment, heartbreak and embarassment. Save your feelings for when you know him in the flesh.

 

If I had permission, I would give you the Email addresses of a few friends of mine who fell madly in love over the Internet with people who sent them pictures, had cybersex, send them love letters, etc...and it ended up they were the same sex as my friends. (They sent pictures of other very attractive members of the opposite sex). One lady friend of mine lost $1,500 she loaned to this guy she was absolutely crazy about...who was really a girl.

 

I do hope this works out for you...and it is more likely to if your expectations are not so great.

 

There is nobody in the world more than me who hopes this really works out for you!!!

[susie]

i am in the same situation. this guy i met online tells me he loves me and i know i love him back. he was with this girl and he didnt do anything with her because the whole time he was with her he could only think about me and how we were meant for each other. he broke up with his girlfriend of two years because she said she didnt want him talking to me online anymore. he is moving here in a few months and i think things will work out. just go with your feelings.

I am having an "afair" on-line! I never thought it would be possible to have such intense feelings for a person I've never even seen and only spoken and written to. We told each other things about ourselves that probably we wouldn't have talked about had we met in person because the distance has made it safe to be totally honest in our opinions and life experiences. Now I just got this email from him called "my confession" and basically it states that he has never met anyone so out-of-this world in her femininity than me. He has never felt that any other woman could make him go out of control because he desires me so much that I could control him and having my picture didn't change anything a bit. That if I want he can be MINE. It is a materpiece combination of erotic writing that just blew me away! I am almost persuaded now that the physical aspect of a person really isn't as important as the inner part, and even though I still haven't seen what he looks like I feel as if I don't even care anymore because of the feelings he is able to produce in me. I just don't know what to think here and can't believe that all day yesterday while I was at classes and working I felt extraordinary, physical feelings of desire throughout my entire body...

 

Now, there is always the chance that this man could be a master writer and know exactly how to manipulate a woman's feelings, or else he is genuinely telling me the truth! How much further can something like this go on? Next year he will be moving very close to my city for a new work position...and will be coming in a few months to set up a company.

 

Am I crazy to feel such feelings for a person I've never seen and only know their soothing voice?!!

 

[Kelly]

Well if you are asking if it is possible..yes it is possible to have feelings for someone you have never met. I say this b/c i was in the same situation. I felt like I was in-love with this guy, talked to him on the phone and all that. I saw his pic and it didn't matter to me even though he wasn't the best looking guy. I've had the whole thinking bout him all day and all that. In my case it didn't work b/c he started getting to needy and was trying to convince me that when i talked to other guys anywhere, it was wrong. So things went sour and I never met him, he also threatened to come to my house and knock on my door b/c I didn't want to meet him and ruin our "on-line love affair". All I can say is that things are very different in person and just be sure you don't jump into something based on feelings only...just be careful, the guy I talked to forever on the comp turned out to be a sweetheart on-line and on the phone, but after that he was soooo a NO NO.