AlexanderJames Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 (edited) Getting some anger out I see It's good to vent it on here with people who understand, gets the anger out without doing something you'll regret like break NC or throw a phone or something I was doing great in NC as a lot of you know until yesterday I got home from work and the bag of things I took to her place when she wasnt home (Some of her stuff and a few things she gave me that I couldnt justify throwing out) was sitting at my front door with a note saying "I DONT WANT YOUR ****!!!" Was a kick in the teeth for me, I started NC and she accepted my decision without hesitation or conflict. Among the last things she said to me was "Ill always be here for you if you need me xx" then 1 week of NC and she acts like this. This forum and the people on here have taught me enough to see a few of the possible signs here. I threw the bag in the bin, left her blocked on FB (As much as I wanted to absolutely lose it) and I'm doing exactly what I have been this past week, focussing on my friends, my fitness and my hapiness. I will not break NC. Edited June 20, 2012 by AlexanderJames Link to post Share on other sites
StarlaStardust Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 OMG Alexander, you're next on my virtual hug list... It's remarkable, isn't it? How people change their tune so drastically? I feel proud of you for sticking to NC. And I feel inspired and motivated, so thanks, because I have a constant nagging voice that tells me to contact him all the time. And (CONFESSION), that nagging voice also tells me "well, wait 6 months and then contact him." Yikes. Wait 6 months to contact the man who handles things so cruelly and coldly? Yeah, my future children are going to love it when daddy leaves for an indeterminable length of time over and over again </sarcasm>. I'm going to put on my cute gym clothes (pity he can't see my great new body, I think to myself) and hit the gym for a bit. It doesn't quite numb the pain, but I do know that exercise will lead to a self confidence that makes it more likely my future relationships will be healthy ones. We can do this! Link to post Share on other sites
AlexanderJames Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 OMG Alexander, you're next on my virtual hug list... It's remarkable, isn't it? How people change their tune so drastically? I feel proud of you for sticking to NC. And I feel inspired and motivated, so thanks, because I have a constant nagging voice that tells me to contact him all the time. And (CONFESSION), that nagging voice also tells me "well, wait 6 months and then contact him." Yikes. Wait 6 months to contact the man who handles things so cruelly and coldly? Yeah, my future children are going to love it when daddy leaves for an indeterminable length of time over and over again </sarcasm>. I'm going to put on my cute gym clothes (pity he can't see my great new body, I think to myself) and hit the gym for a bit. It doesn't quite numb the pain, but I do know that exercise will lead to a self confidence that makes it more likely my future relationships will be healthy ones. We can do this! Thanks stella /hug. Glad I can be a source of help for you. The gym is the best place to go in my opinion, it actually releases chemicals that decrease depression. And it builds self esteem and confidence. Not to mention keeps you fit and healthy! So good work If you find yourself struggling with NC I have a thread on here called Hope for the hopeless! that a few people on here have found quite helpful. Have a good workout Link to post Share on other sites
Author skyisfalling Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 My desire to contact my ex is virtually nothing but I am a lot more sad than I have been the past couple of weeks.. Is this improvement or am I just now starting to deal with the pain? Link to post Share on other sites
AlexanderJames Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Whoops Starla* Read your name wrong Skyisfalling the sadness you are feeling is completely natural and you arent alone. I was there recently. When I experienced times of sadness like those I reminded myself that It's not the person themself that I am feeling sad for and missing. It is the fact that I've gone from having someone who couldn't go a day without hearing from me, to not hearing a thing. I imagine you do not want to talk to them, but you do feel unimportant and un needed? Reassure yourself that it's not the ex bugging you, you are just coming to terms with being a solo act again. Its a difficult transition to move into. But rest assured, you are important to lots of people in your life, and there are many who need you. Dont fight the sadness, just reassure yourself of the things you know to be true, and the sadness will pass in time. Unfortunately we cant swat away these feelings, our body has to feel them. It's hard, but it will pass. Just be proud knowing you have no desire to contact them, you're doing well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skyisfalling Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 Whoops Starla* Read your name wrong Skyisfalling the sadness you are feeling is completely natural and you arent alone. I was there recently. When I experienced times of sadness like those I reminded myself that It's not the person themself that I am feeling sad for and missing. It is the fact that I've gone from having someone who couldn't go a day without hearing from me, to not hearing a thing. I imagine you do not want to talk to them, but you do feel unimportant and un needed? Wow, Alexander, you hit it right on the nail! You're right, I feel sad because I feel like no one cares for me, I check my phone only to see if someone messaged me. Thanks for the encouraging words, are you SURE you're only 22? Link to post Share on other sites
AlexanderJames Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Wow, Alexander, you hit it right on the nail! You're right, I feel sad because I feel like no one cares for me, I check my phone only to see if someone messaged me. Thanks for the encouraging words, are you SURE you're only 22? People do care for you though! Dont forget it. Sometimes I check my phone to see if I have txts, but she doesnt have my number so I know I wont recieve any from her. I found if I txt a lot of friends first and talked with them, then when they all start replying I felt much better If I had your number and didnt probably live on the opposite side of the world I would txt you haha And nope, I'm only 21 A 21 year old tradie thats been put through my fair share. I hope you're doing well today Link to post Share on other sites
MadSworthy Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Nice post! Cool. Link to post Share on other sites
iambookworm Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Hi starla, its always good to hear from you. i cuss all the f****ing time too, and i dont really feel like censuring myself either. so F*** it. our exes are f***ing morons, seriously, just leave without a goodbye or the decency to let us know they dont want to continue it any longer.. absolute f***ing pieces of sh*ts. I'm same with you, working on myself to feel great inside, but as i'm doing that, i can't help but think of my ex and how wonderful it would be if we were together.. blah blah fu**king blah. UGH, he is such a c*** suc*ing low life motherfu**** but I can't seem to get him off my mind. I need to envision my ex being a loser, but its hard when he looked really good on paper. *sigh* Yes, I hate that he just cut off the call and DIDN'T even break it off properly. Like it's hanging in the air and we're not actually over? F***ing coward! Why can't he just tell me IT'S OVER?? Sheesh! Some men are such a$$es! AlexanderJames, you're only 21? Wow! With how you comment, I would've thought you were older. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexanderJames Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 AlexanderJames, you're only 21? Wow! With how you comment, I would've thought you were older. Thank you People often tell me I am mature for my age. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skyisfalling Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 Yes, I hate that he just cut off the call and DIDN'T even break it off properly. Like it's hanging in the air and we're not actually over? F***ing coward! Why can't he just tell me IT'S OVER?? Sheesh! Some men are such a$$es! Welcome to the club Iambookworm.. both Starla and I have similar situations. My ex never bothered to even tell me it was over, he just disappeared *POOF* into thin air. It's been almost 3 weeks since I heard from him and he's the biggest f***ing coward ever. So here i am, picking up the pieces, and going no contact on him- although it was by force since I had no choice. But hang in there girl, we're in it together, we'll get through it! Link to post Share on other sites
iambookworm Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Welcome to the club Iambookworm.. both Starla and I have similar situations. My ex never bothered to even tell me it was over, he just disappeared *POOF* into thin air. It's been almost 3 weeks since I heard from him and he's the biggest f***ing coward ever. So here i am, picking up the pieces, and going no contact on him- although it was by force since I had no choice. But hang in there girl, we're in it together, we'll get through it! Yes! Though day 1 and 2, I did send him an email and 2 texts, no more since then, since I discovered this site. Gosh, thanks, we can do this!! Link to post Share on other sites
StarlaStardust Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Yes! Though day 1 and 2, I did send him an email and 2 texts, no more since then, since I discovered this site. Gosh, thanks, we can do this!! Girl, I tried for 5 or 6 times over 2 months to get in touch with my dude. You're doing great. Link to post Share on other sites
iambookworm Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Girl, I tried for 5 or 6 times over 2 months to get in touch with my dude. You're doing great. I almost gave in today. I always believed that I'd rather regret something I did (like contact him and make sure I exhausted all avenues) than regret something I did not do. I told my friend and she said NO! Then took me out to shopping and watch a movie hahaha Link to post Share on other sites
Author skyisfalling Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 I almost gave in today. I always believed that I'd rather regret something I did (like contact him and make sure I exhausted all avenues) than regret something I did not do. I told my friend and she said NO! Then took me out to shopping and watch a movie hahaha You should be proud of yourself iambookworm! It's great that you kept NC, in the end, it only hurts us to reach out. They obviously don't care enough to keep in touch and see how we're doing, because if they did, they would reach out to us. You're doing great, the forum is always here for you when you're feeling weak. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iambookworm Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 It hurts though. I just want to get back with him. And I think, I wish I didn't ask those questions. I wish I just let it be. But that's stupid, I know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skyisfalling Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 It hurts though. I just want to get back with him. And I think, I wish I didn't ask those questions. I wish I just let it be. But that's stupid, I know. I know sweetie.. sigh. I desperately want to go back to my ex too, I want to tell him how much I love him, how much I missed him, that i forgive him and lets start over. I have so many questions that haven't been answered and I'm so tired of fighting my feelings, pretending to not care when i really do. Its so hard to get up in the morning knowing he is no longer a part of my life. But the pain has to stop sometime right? It can't last forever, I can't be feeling like sh** until the day I die. I just keep going, faking my happiness, smiling, when inside i feel dead... and hopefully i wont have to fake it anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
iambookworm Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I know sweetie.. sigh. I desperately want to go back to my ex too, I want to tell him how much I love him, how much I missed him, that i forgive him and lets start over. I have so many questions that haven't been answered and I'm so tired of fighting my feelings, pretending to not care when i really do. Its so hard to get up in the morning knowing he is no longer a part of my life. But the pain has to stop sometime right? It can't last forever, I can't be feeling like sh** until the day I die. I just keep going, faking my happiness, smiling, when inside i feel dead... and hopefully i wont have to fake it anymore. Agreed. I hate that I still love him so. And I sometimes want to keep checking my phone to see if he sent me a text. Link to post Share on other sites
barriob Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Trust me. It is better to go NC. My ex broke up with me a year ago and we keot hanging out after the break up. Just this march, he stopped talking to me, he completely ignored me. And he now has a gf Link to post Share on other sites
iambookworm Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Trust me. It is better to go NC. My ex broke up with me a year ago and we keot hanging out after the break up. Just this march, he stopped talking to me, he completely ignored me. And he now has a gf Sorry to hear that. Hang in there We can do this. Link to post Share on other sites
Xjusticenlossx Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 No it doesn't.... No Contact means you have absolutely, completely, totally entirely, thoroughly cut off all connection with that person in every and any way, shape or form. Period. i strongly recommend people here read the "All New Caliguy No Contact Guide" in my signature and learn it off by heart. Only way, peoples.... Sorry for hijacking the thread. But I have a question. Its on the first page of breaks and break ups. The thread name is " ?any" I would appreciate any little bit of help Link to post Share on other sites
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