How long is too long??

[whichwayisup]

And he was not 'allowed' to take my daughter. It's called kidnapping. Unfortunately we're still legally married and it's a 'civil dispute'. After almost 4 years, the courts just closed my D case due to lack of inactivity. You cannot serve what you cannot find. The state he was living in refused to honor my restraining order and give my daughter back, I needed papers from their local court. I didn't have the resources to find him on my own in his huge city or to stay away from my own state long enough to fight in his.

 

So you don't have your daughter, he still has her? Sorry I'm confused a bit here. If this is the case, that was and still is kidnapping and the cops should have arrested him, put out an Amber Alert. Marital disputes happen, then one parent takes off with a child, 911 is called and there's ALWAYS an Amber Alert put out.

[whichwayisup]

Now you have a bit of a backstory as to where/how my life became as ****ed up as it is.

 

All the more reason to fix yourself and heal before you leap into something else.

 

Be alone and learn to be self efficent and independant. You don't need a man in your life. Find "you".

[Ducky23]

So you don't have your daughter, he still has her? Sorry I'm confused a bit here. If this is the case, that was and still is kidnapping and the cops should have arrested him, put out an Amber Alert. Marital disputes happen, then one parent takes off with a child, 911 is called and there's ALWAYS an Amber Alert put out.

 

It's not always that simple. We are still legally married and when he was questioned his answer was "she left me and abandoned my daughter, she told me to take her and I did." And I'm saying "Are you crazy?! He never had my permission to take her! And especially not out of state!" then the cops throw up their hands and say "settle it between you, go to court if you must, there's nothing I can do. This is a civil matter, not a criminal matter." I was in very good communication with one of the Sheriffs Deputies in his county when I found him and that man was my saving grace. But he told me flat out "you have every right to take her out of his front yard, there's nothing we can do. But if he tries to stop you and she gets hurt, those are felony charges on both of you." so then it was a waiting game. They never left the house. They have cameras all over so they would know if I went near. I could only afford 3 days in a hotel and the round-trip costs for gas. That was it. 3 days a year that I could afford to physically look for her. And no funds for anything else. Later I realized I would have had better luck investing that money in a lawyer. But being as emotionally tied to the situation as I am, I felt like a worthless nothing by just sitting around. It was 3 years in a manic panic trying to figure it out. They disappeared after March '09. I don't know anything about the woman he's with and if he's working then it's under the table. There are no records of him anywhere.

[Ducky23]

I'm sorry to say this ducky and cause you pain and more worry. If your husband had an affair with a 15 year old, it was not an affair, it was molestation and your husband is a pedophile. Pedophile ducky..........your daughter is in great danger. Find help for her ducky, some way somehow. Get her away from him.

 

I am fully aware of this truth. And I used it to get my restraining order signed. But he is not a registered sex offender. No I don't know how that's possible, all I know is that his mommy's money had him a great lawyer within 24 hours of the arrest. So I can't track him that way either