hymphey Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 In september i moved to a new town to start a new job. Working on the same project as me was a girl name Karen. Me and Karen got along quite well and started having lunch/coffee together. After a some weeks of this I figured i liked Karen enough that I wanted to ask her on a date. Before i got that far, Karen let it slip that she was seeing someone. I taught fair enough and kept my distance, mostly for my own sake. Karen probably got the message and kept her distance from me as well. In january Karen started to become more friendly towards me again and eventually asked me if I wanted to come over to see this movie we been talking about. By this time Karen was on and off with her guy and I was also kind of seeing someone else, so I figured this would be pretty harmless. As it happened, it was pretty harmless. We ended up becoming very good friends over the coming months, hanging out several times a week, having dinner together, working out, etc. Nothing sexual or past a friendly hug happened. For the past 5-6 weeks I get a feeling that she's distancing herself from me. For example, if I text her to do something and she's not available, she won't suggest another time (like she used to do). And the other day, when we met for a coffee on saturday, she told me how she spontaineously invited "all her friends" (to use her words) to a BBQ the other day. However, she didn't invite me. She has also cancelled on me several times the past weeks. I could come up with more examples, but you'll get the idea. The thing is, when we hang out we generally have a great time. Lots of laughing and stuff. And she will gladly plan things for us to do (for example we recently planned going away for a weekend in july to go hiking) I got two theories about what happened: 1. She's simply lost interest in me as a friend. I don't think this is plausible, as she still wants to spend time with me and we have the best of time when we hang out. 2. She realized that she has some feelings for me. Instead of doing something about it, she pulls away not to get any closer to me and have the feelings develop. (Which also kind of doesn't make sense since we recently planned to spend a weekend together hiking) Any thoughts? And what should I do? Talk to her about it? Give it more time? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Just back off and leave her be. Either she likes you more than she should and things are ON again with her bf, or she isn't into you at all but knows you're into her and now she's realizes this, instead of talking to you, she's doin the hint thing and hoping you'll figure things out on your own. Let her come to you and ask what is up. Seriously, back waaayy off and don't contact her. Focus on your other friends, family and keep busy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hymphey Posted June 19, 2012 Author Share Posted June 19, 2012 (edited) I suppose backing off would be the sensible thing to do. But I know that things are not on again with her BF (he screwed her over pretty bad a month ago) and she's not seeing anybody else at the moment. As an added bonus, we will be working closely together on a project starting after summer and lasting a year. So i need things to not become weird between us. Hence me just backing off might not be the best idea. Edited June 19, 2012 by hymphey Link to post Share on other sites
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