I feel like I'm turning into a NAG!! Married ladies, can you relate?

[Mr Spock]

Originally posted by moimeme

No, actually, there are heaps of people being diagnosed as 'lazy asses' who in fact have undiagnosed disorders which could be treated. But people would rather condemn someone and criticize him than endeavour to find out whether something is really wrong.

 

I wager that if any of these ladies were to suggest to their guys that planning things and not carrying through as well as forgetting are symptoms of AD/HD and that maybe the guys should be assessed, it'd pretty quickly become clear who has a disorder and who not.

 

Four percent of adults have AD/HD. That is four of every hundred people you know. Chances you marry one are better than chances of most other things, including getting cancer and winning a lottery.

 

Don't be rediculous Moi. It's also a symptom of a somewhat spoiled irresponsible adult. An adult male who feels ENTITLED to be served and waited upon, and until you correct that particular affliction (which doesn't require medication) you can nag until you're blue in the face and nothing will change.

[moimeme]

My point, Spock, which you seem to have trouble with, is that YOU DON'T KNOW IT'S JUST LAZINESS UNTIL YOU FIND OUT IF THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON OR NOT.

 

Is that easier to read? Assuming it's just laziness is what people have done to kids and adults with AD/HD for years. And insulted them and berated them and made them feel like s*** when they were not at all lazy but rather overwhelmed and unable to organize themselves. Those like you so happy to condemn and judge quickly are the people who damage these individuals so badly that it takes them years to recover.

 

Is it going to hurt you if she gets her husband to a doctor for a diagnosis just to rule out a disorder? Will it offend your personal sensibilities if she gives the man the benefit of the doubt? Or are you so delighted with your ability to condemn and judge perfect strangers that you yourself will blow a fuse if she allows her husband to get checked out?

[Mr Spock]

YOU DON'T KNOW IT'S JUST LAZINESS UNTIL YOU FIND OUT IF THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON OR NOT.

 

And my point Moi, which you seem to have trouble grasping, is that giving advice based on the fact that all lazy husbands suffer from mental disorders until proven otherwise is silly. .

 

 

If you need to climb on the soapbox to defend AD/HD and those afflicted by it that's super great-more power to you-but constantly telling a stranger that because her husband forgets to do the chores asked (which can also be a sign that he doesn't take her seriously, and never has) he may be suffering from AD/HD is dumb.

 

 

http://www.chadd.org/fs/fs7.htm

 

 

Here is a link to a list of symptoms. If your husband has these, then go to a doctor. If he doesn't, chances are he's a somewhat chauvanistic pig who never validates you or the effort you put into raising your family, like lord knows how many other people on this earth.

[moimeme]

giving advice based on the fact that all lazy husbands suffer from mental disorders until proven otherwise is silly.

 

My advise is TO GET THEM CHECKED OUT.

 

Cripes.

[Mr Spock]

Originally posted by moimeme

My advise is TO GET THEM CHECKED OUT.

 

Cripes.

 

And if he doesn't have ANY OTHER SYMPTOMS THAN FORGETTING TO DO HIS CHORES, don't bother. You'll just arm him with an excuse.

[moimeme]

It's a myth that people use disorders as 'an excuse'. Most of them feel awful about their inability to function well and are happy they find a treatable cause. Yes, there are some lazy people on the planet, but FAIRNESS (ever hear about that?) would dictate that you make sure that a person is not just lazy. OP's spouse may have had AD/HD. This dude may not, but like I said, suggest to him that he get diagnosed. If nothing else, just the suggestion might smarten him up.

[FolderWife]

Originally posted by Guest

 

I sympathize with your husband. You sound arrogant and snotty.

 

Hey! If you're going to say something like that, say it as yourself...don't be a coward and log out of your user account, and attack me. If you have something to say, have some nerve, and SAY IT WITH YOUR REAL NAME!

[whichwayisup]

Originally posted by Haunani

Lady.....I like the way you think......LOL I have been trying to get *fired* so I can collect unemployment, I just don't mess up enough. And my daughter wants me on more excursions....... Guess I have to keep trying. I'm going to entertain that thought!

 

Start calling in sick alot, and also going in to work, then leaving early because of .... *make up an excuse.*

 

Make some major mistakes, give some attitude, take longer lunches and breaks. Won't be long before management gets peeved and puts you on probation or asks you to the door...

 

Originally posted by moimeme

It's a myth that people use disorders as 'an excuse'. Most of them feel awful about their inability to function well and are happy they find a treatable cause. Yes, there are some lazy people on the planet, but FAIRNESS (ever hear about that?) would dictate that you make sure that a person is not just lazy. OP's spouse may have had AD/HD. This dude may not, but like I said, suggest to him that he get diagnosed. If nothing else, just the suggestion might smarten him up.

 

Exactly! I have an anxiety disorder, I don't "use" it to my advantage as there are NO ADVANTAGES to having this f**k'n disorder! Some may use their disability or yes, a disorder, to their advantage, but that's preplanned and just wrong.

 

To me it sounds like he just wants to be in total control, knowing he doesn't "have" to lift a finger at home. He's gotten used to the "easy" way at home so therefore why should he ruin it for himself by actually being a responsible parent, a giving, loving husband and DO his share of the load!!!!!

[Mr Spock]

Exactly! I have an anxiety disorder, I don't "use" it to my advantage as there are NO ADVANTAGES to having this f**k'n disorder! Some may use their disability or yes, a disorder, to their advantage, but that's preplanned and just wrong.

 

I'm not saying people DO that. But a lazy ass husband who doesn't have AD/HD might, Moi is really jumping the gun here.

[whichwayisup]

Yeah maybe, but this guy can run his multi-million dollar company, he can do stuff around the house. No doubt. He's a male chauvinest pig, with some "old school" way of thinking of how life should be. He needs a hard long swift kick in butt as far as I'm concerned. To set in his ways and isn't willing to change for ANYBODY! That's called selfish and if he doesn't get his act in gear he is going to lose his family!

[scarlyjones]

If he actually has ADHD,....then that just makes it difficult for people to focus. In turn, that makes it hard for them to complete tasks. Now, that word was COMPLETE....tasks. People with ADHD dont just throw their arms up in the air and say F*** it. Im sorry, but, you cant walk out into your garage to grab a beer, see your wife working her azz off in the yard,....turn around and walk back in,....go sit down and then blame it on ADHD............... I bet he finishes that whole beer.

[Ladyjane14]

Originally posted by scarlyjones

............... I bet he finishes that whole beer.

 

:lmao: OMG...that's just too funny!

 

This guy doesn't sound ADHD to me. Depression is a possibility, I suppose. But all the adult ADHD people I know are on the move until they're totally exhausted. Then, if they sit down for 10 minutes....they fall asleep.

 

Get him checked out with a medical professional if it makes you feel better. Otherwise, start hiring the help you need around the house.

 

Hell, he'll probably start feeling quite energetic when you divert the cable TV money to the landscaper.