Why is he still with me when I cheat?

[WeAllMightBeNuts]

Actually I meant broke as if not having money. Well I do but not too much (since I study, all I do is part time). Good thing I don't have to split the bill on our dates and usually is me deciding where I want to go. For instance, he knows very well not to take me to McDonalds. Only time I ever did pay was for his birthday or some real special ocassion. Otherwise, it's him paying.

 

This is what you get from everything?

 

Some of the stupidest people I have ever come into contact with had MBA's & PHD's. You seem to be falling into that category for whatever reason. Maybe you can do your thesis on you as to the reason why!

 

You ARE a user and abuser. He IS an enabler. Plain and simple. You will keep people in your life that you can use and abuse but not allow those in your life that won't allow it with multiple justifications created by you for the behavior.

 

Keep on keeping on. Get that doctorate on others backs and pretend to everyone that it's a great accomplishment.

 

Meanwhile there are hundreds that are really accomplishing the same that are just as "broke" as you claim to be on their own.

 

Better get a good therapist because it's all gonna' come crashing in the not too distant future. Don't want you sitting in the tub with the pills.

[Chi townD]

When did I blame him? I was writing how it is because that's not how people in general react.

 

If I'm not mistaken this site is to help others, yes even the cheaters. I reported you already. Why don't you go towards the ranting section. You can post there instead of throwing garbage on my thread.

 

 

Yep! But what the hell kind of help are you looking for? Seems like you came on here to gloat about the fact that you have a boyfriend, but you can have sex with anyone you want and he's still with you.

 

I tell you what. Why don't you send your boyfriend on here and we can help him. Apparently, you're well adjusted with your current situation.

[LittlePrince]

As the title says it, I admit to having a problem and have been trying to stop but can't.

When we first met he knew about my past and how I was a player during high school and college. Well I was single then and had ONS as well as FWB. It has nothing to do with having low self-esteem. I did it because I wanted to and felt like it (no problems in the family nor abuse).

 

Anyway I was surprised he didn't seem turned off by this at all and still wanted to date me. Currently he has caught me several times and yet seems unaffected. Ok is that reaction even normal??

 

I understand if it was just for sex he was dating me but it's been 14 months now. Can someone tell me what exactly he sees in me when I'm broken (I don't pay for my classes, but was given the scholarship so I have to maintain my GPA). Serious answers only not labels.

He is a cuckold fetishist.

[Chi townD]

He is a cuckold fetishist.

 

 

That's a label, she's looking for answers. To what? I have no idea.

[LittlePrince]

That's a label, she's looking for answers. To what? I have no idea.

No, that's an answer.

[Chi townD]

Calling someone a cuckold is labeling someone by a title. Thus, you've called him a cuckold.

If you stated that perhaps he is a person that enjoys the thought a his loved one being with someone else sexually. That's an explaination.

 

We can play with semantics all day long. Still doesn't change the fact that she's doing this guy wrong.

[nofool4u]

Calling someone a cuckold is labeling someone by a title. Thus, you've called him a cuckold.

If you stated that perhaps he is a person that enjoys the thought a his loved one being with someone else sexually. That's an explaination.

 

Thats what she said by calling him a cuckold.

 

It wouldn't be any different than instead of saying that she has a hunger for sexual gratification, or any gratification, of being with other men. When saying she is a cheater will suffice just nicely.

 

We can play with semantics all day long. Still doesn't change the fact that she's doing this guy wrong.

 

Absolutely agreed.

[Plan 9 from OS]

To the OP: Despite all of your cheating, why is your BF still with you and why does he not seem bothered by your cheating? We can speculate on a few ideas: 1) The BF enjoys having sex with you and is content to wait around for you to give it to him, meaning he doesn't have to spend a lot of effort wooing girls in order to get his itch scratched. 2) He is into the cuckold/jilted lover fetish where he becomes aroused by the thought of his GF having sex wtih other men. 3) He has no self esteem and is willing to stick with you no matter how much pain you cause him.

 

These are possible reasons, but maybe the easiest thing for you to do is to simply ask him why he sticks by you. From there you can figure out what to do next.

[LauraP]

Yep! But what the hell kind of help are you looking for? Seems like you came on here to gloat about the fact that you have a boyfriend, but you can have sex with anyone you want and he's still with you.

Sure maybe I wasn't one of those remorseful cheaters saying ''Oh help, I just cheated on bf and feel bad'' type poster but the fact that I'm writing this and think it's not a normal reaction means I was wondering what's going on. I have to say I've gotten helpful insights and maybe he's either just after the sex afterall or likes seeing me with other men. But I've always heard that many guys preferred to have an FFM fantasy but not too much vice-versa.

 

Still, there was no need for that member to straight forward insult me. You can disagree with someone without name callings. There are ways of saying things.

I tell you what. Why don't you send your boyfriend on here and we can help him. Apparently, you're well adjusted with your current situation.

He doesn't really write on forums. Edited July 4, 2012 by LauraP

[LauraP]

The OP is an incredibly selfish arsehole and no mistake. Go off and have more one ups than Super Mario if that's what floats your boat but don't stay in a relationship. My guess is the poor bastard is probably dying inside but feels something is better than nothing. Do him a favour and let him go.

True I might be selfish but if that was the case, then wouldn't he have left me the first time he caught me cheating? To be honest, the other times he caught me it was simply to try to see if there would be a reaction from him. There was none.

I know he had other gfs in the past so it's not like he lacks communication skills nor can't get another: he can but for whatever reason still stays with me.

 

As for me leaving him? Ok, I'll admit it, I became more interested when he accepted me the way I am and no reaction. With him, I do have feelings. Unlike the other men, it was purely sex only. I can distinguish between only sexual encounters and sex + actually feelings.

[Chi townD]

Still, there was no need for that member to straight forward insult me. You can disagree with someone without name callings. There are ways of saying things.

 

Okay, but you have to understand that you are coming on a forum where a lot of us have been cut to the core by people that we loved and we thought loved us as well by the very same actions that you are committing on your boyfriend right now. You are triggering them in having those feelings they had when they first discovered they were being cheated on. And I can tell you by experience, TRIGGERS SUCK!!

 

You won't know what we're talking about until you find THAT guy. A guy that completes you in every way possible. A guy that you can't stand to be away from and it hurts when he's not around and your heart beats a little fast when you see him again. A guy; that when he puts his arms around you and you feel safe and you feel at home. A guy that can make you laugh and smile with very little effort. A guy that will send you flowers for no other reason except that it's a thursday and he thought you would like flowers. A guy that you've completely trusted and given yourself completely to.

 

 

And it would be that same guy that later, gives you excuses on why he can't come over. It becomes that same guy that is constantly texting someone and you don't know who. It's that same guy that his story about where he's going or where he's been doesn't add up. It becomes that guy that protects his phone and computer like Ft. Knox. It's that same guy that you go over to his place unannounced and walk in on him in bed with another girl.

 

Until you've experience pain like this, you will never understand why your story has some people spun up.

 

I speculate that your "boyfriend" or whoever he is just see's you as a booty call or friends with benefits. And to be honest, if he's acting like he doesn't give a crap it's either one of two things. He has no self esteem or a spine to put an end to everything. OR he as very little or NO respect for you at all. Just as long as he gets his turn, he could care less. With the type of lifestyle your living; yeah, you might have a lot of guys in your life and you're getting your physical intimacies met. But, it seems your life is VERY lonely.

[Amiet999]

i think this guy truly love you but when he will leave you you will understand his importance in your life.