Can a medication cause infidelity?

[sr31]

My wife is claiming that the combination of Zoloft, Remeron and Clonazepam combined by encouragement by her therapist and positive reinforcement by her doctor caused her infidelity. It's my understanding that these drugs cause the exact opposite effect. I know that she had no interest in me but had multiple sex partners outside of our marriage. Does anyone know of any information that would support her theory?

[StartingAgain]

No. This is BS plain and simple. I do not doubt that her therapist may have encouraged such behavior, but certainly didn't cause it. Excuses, excuses. Every cheater wants to blame something or someone else, but never the real thing: themselves.

[supermom]

I have taken Zoloft, and Clonazepam, which have never made me want to stray. I think she is making a poor excuse for her actions, instead of being an adult and admitting that she is the one at fault, not her medications.

 

Sh*t, Clonzaepam made me feel high that I didn't want to have sex with anyone including my husband.

 

Maybe you should have a talk with her therapist!

 

just my opinion, but I have taken those meds.

[lydiamarie]

i should probably preface this with: I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. all this info i know from dealing with my own disorders.

 

it's perfectly possible that her drugs altered her mood and thinking enough that she cheated on you.

 

she's on three drugs:

 

clonazepam-this is in the valium family. it gets rid of your inhibitions and makes you feel loopy (think drunk but not sick)

 

remeron-an antidepressant. this elevates mood.

 

zoloft-same effect as the other two

 

 

it's quite possible that zoloft and remeron have put her into a manic phase, even hypomania. mania is characterized by poor decision making (spending obscene amounts of money, promiscuity, etc).

 

the remeron and zoloft could have removed her inhibitions.

 

together these drugs could do horrible things to her.

 

if she is not someone who you would ever think would behave this way, then you need to talk to her doctors about the medications that she is on. mania is extremely dangerous.

 

if this is the sort of thing she normally does than maybe she has been misdiagnosed. i'm assuming that she is being treated for depression and anxiety. if this behavior has been present, even to a lesser degree, then perhaps she is manicdepressive (bipolar disorder). people with this disease should never be on an antidepressant without a mood stabilizer (tegretol, depakote, lithium, etc)-to do so can be deadly.

 

TALK TO HER DOCTOR. you really need to go to an appointment (not therapy, but a medication evaluation) with her so that you can talk about what is really going on. don't be afraid to tell the doctor anything. believe me, it's all relevant.

[HokeyReligions]

Mood altering drugs can cause someone to do things for which they have no control. Diarhea, vomiting, fainting, rapid or irregular heart beat, sweating, increased or decreased paranoia or fear. More susceptible to manipulation or coercion by outside sourcers. She might be talked into doing something that would take a LOT more coercion without the drugs, but unless the drugs caused her to totally lose her mind and memory, she made the decision to cheat and she is responsibile.

 

If she is under the influence of so many drugs and the manipulation of so many people that she cannot control herself and is no longer physically responsible for herself, then check her into a hospital and get a lawyer and go after the doctors that caused it because she is a danger to herself and others.

 

Reminds me of the old bit Flip Wilson did on Laugh-in: The Devil Made Me Do It.

Sounds like an excuse to me though

[moimeme]

It is entirely possible that three drugs, all acting on her brain, could cause her to behave in out-of-character ways. It is not necessarily an excuse. These things are powerful and have powerful effects. Hell, people can get happier on a bit of chocolate - it's foolish to expect that drugs will have no effect. Others' anecdotes are not relevant, either. Every human is different and reacts differently to drugs so just because one person took an Aspirin and was fine does not mean the next person won't die from it.

 

If you really doubt her therapist, question a couple more psychiatrists and maybe a pharmacist or two. I'm pretty sure all will verify that three such drugs could, indeed, cause someone to behave very differently due to lack of inhibitions, etc.

[StartingAgain]

I am a medical professional and I tell you that this is BS. Drugs cannot "cause" infidelity. There is no drug that turns morality off. The current classes of psychotropics do have side effects, but this isn't one of them. Lydiamarie, suggested talking to her doctor. A good t-doc or p-doc will already know, but psychotherapy is a very private matter and the docs are not going to talk to the spouse of a patient in this level of detail. If they did, not only would he/she be violating professional ethics, but also undermine patient/therapist trust.

[moimeme]

They may not 'cause' infidelity, but if you're that great a medical professional, then you know they can definitely affect judgement. I'm with lydiamarie on this; it sounds like a form of mania with all the attendant symptoms and you know very well that some psych drugs can cause mania.

[lydiamarie]

of course her doctors will talk with him.

 

she's probably signed release of information forms-these are not uncommon in mental health clinic-that say that his doctors can talk to him about her.

 

even if those forms haven't been signed, doctors ENCOURAGE you to bring family and friends to sessions. it is very important that your roomates and SOs and family know what to look out for: everything from changes in behavior to changes in skin color.

 

also her doctors will appreciate having a more complete view of her condition. before i go to my appointments, i ask my friends and family if there is anything that they have noticed that they think i should bring up or if they have any questions that i should ask my doctor. i have also gone to appointments with a good friend of mine and helped her tell the doctor what was really going on. it was very important for her treatment, because she didn't have the courage to say herself some of the things that she had done.

[moimeme]

Drugs cannot "cause" infidelity. There is no drug that turns morality off

 

Nobody said they did. Go read the posts again. They can cause you to lose judgement just as alcohol can and they can cause mania. It's not necessarily about morality. It's about actually following through on something that ordinarily you might have considered and rejected because your inhibitions are impaired.

[ladyangel]

Originally posted by lydiamarie

i should probably preface this with: I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. all this info i know from dealing with my own disorders.

 

it's perfectly possible that her drugs altered her mood and thinking enough that she cheated on you.

 

she's on three drugs:

 

clonazepam-this is in the valium family. it gets rid of your inhibitions and makes you feel loopy (think drunk but not sick)

 

remeron-an antidepressant. this elevates mood.

 

zoloft-same effect as the other two

 

 

it's quite possible that zoloft and remeron have put her into a manic phase, even hypomania. mania is characterized by poor decision making (spending obscene amounts of money, promiscuity, etc).

 

the remeron and zoloft could have removed her inhibitions.

 

together these drugs could do horrible things to her.

 

if she is not someone who you would ever think would behave this way, then you need to talk to her doctors about the medications that she is on. mania is extremely dangerous.

 

if this is the sort of thing she normally does than maybe she has been misdiagnosed. i'm assuming that she is being treated for depression and anxiety. if this behavior has been present, even to a lesser degree, then perhaps she is manicdepressive (bipolar disorder). people with this disease should never be on an antidepressant without a mood stabilizer (tegretol, depakote, lithium, etc)-to do so can be deadly.

 

TALK TO HER DOCTOR. you really need to go to an appointment (not therapy, but a medication evaluation) with her so that you can talk about what is really going on. don't be afraid to tell the doctor anything. believe me, it's all relevant.

Sorry to quote this entire post, but I think it is ALL very relevant to the question asked.

 

Lydiamarie, you obviously know your stuff. I'm bipolar (I'm assuming you are also?) and I've done my research on the subject, as well as having my own personal experiences. I totally agree with everything you've said.

 

I think it is very important for this husband to speak with his wife's doctors, explain the situation, and make sure she has a proper diagnosis and the right medications. If she does, then shame on her for making up excuses for her actions.

[lydiamarie]

i have bipolar disorder and i have miserable panic attacks to boot. i have lots of family and friends that have various pych disorders. i've read up on everything (i obviously exaggerate) and i ask questions of my doctors constantly (and i'm always at the doctor's office-therapy and bloodwork and med evals certainly keep a girl busy )

 

i am extremely impressed by sr31 for not dismissing his wife's claims without seeking advice. anyone would be lucky to have such a man.

[sr31]

I've also taken zoloft and clonazepam and it never caused me to be susceptible to manipulation or coercion and it never made me promiscuous. Her doctor refused to even accept information from me, never mind talk to me. I have since found out that she wasn't a doctor, but a CNA. My wife was never diaginosed by a doctor. The counselor that she claims encouraged her to cheat also saw us as a couple and seemed to be on the ball when I was there. So I don't know what went on when I wasn't there. Along with her sleeping around she was also spending obscene amounts of money, collecting objects and filling the house until it was impassable, abusing our children, verbally abusing me and her close friends. I've since learned that this is the norm for her. That's how she's been most of her life. She some how held things together for a few years for us to meet, date, get married and have children. She had a successful career, close friends and later in our relationship a successful business. Because I felt she had been misdiagnosed and was in fear of her harming herself or our children I did physically take her to the hospital who would not help her because she didn't want help. Suddenly now she seems like the person that I married. I'm not really buying the infidelity caused by the drugs, because she took great lengths to cover up her actions, and the only reason that I ever found out about it was because two of the guys separately came after me because they blamed me for ruining their relationship with my wife. She denied her involvement until one of these guys produced a video of them together. I'm not sure how many people she was involved with, I suspect at least one other, possibly more. I'll never know the truth so I don't know what to think.

[lydiamarie]

I am so sorry that you have to go through this.

 

I am going to restate that i am NOT a medical professional, but i do know a thing or two about manic depression and i would be extremely surprised if this is not what she has. i'll tell you why:

 

I've also taken zoloft and clonazepam and it never caused me to be susceptible to manipulation or coercion and it never made me promiscuous.

 

if everyone had ill effects from these medications then they would not be on the market. in order for them to induce mania you have to be susceptible to manic episodes: ie, have manic depression (now formally known as bipolar disorder). these medications carry with them the warning that someone with bipolar disorder should not be taking them. should they for some reason be necessary, they should only be used (if you have bipolar disorder) if a mood stabilizer is already well established in the medication regimine. it is hard to believe that a doctor would be so careless as to prescribe these drugs to someone who is manic depressive, but it can (and does) happen. people either don't want to talk about their 'highs' because of the embarassing things that they have done or they simply don't know that it is important or even relevant.

 

Her doctor refused to even accept information from me, never mind talk to me.

 

this is not a sign of a responsible doctor...

 

I have since found out that she wasn't a doctor, but a CNA. My wife was never diaginosed by a doctor

.

 

so who has prescribed her medications? who is monitering her mood and side effects and dosing? i find this extremely troubling. i think that you need to complain (i mean hit the roof, possibly sue) about this CNA.

 

The counselor that she claims encouraged her to cheat also saw us as a couple and seemed to be on the ball when I was there. So I don't know what went on when I wasn't there.

 

try to talk to the therapist about your wife, either with or without her. you could even claim to go in for marriage counseling on your own. liscensed therapists have resources to help you help people like your wife and she can teach you how to cope.

 

Along with her sleeping around she was also spending obscene amounts of money, collecting objects and filling the house until it was impassable, abusing our children, verbally abusing me and her close friends. I've since learned that this is the norm for her. That's how she's been most of her life. She some how held things together for a few years for us to meet, date, get married and have children. She had a successful career, close friends and later in our relationship a successful business.

 

all signs of mania. please look through the links that i've provided at the bottom of the post. remember that people who have manic depression (bipolar disorder) will have a manic, mixed (symptoms of both mania and depression), or depressive episode that will last from days to years. in between these episodes many with the disorder will experience periods of normal mood. it is a cycling disease.

 

Because I felt she had been misdiagnosed and was in fear of her harming herself or our children I did physically take her to the hospital who would not help her because she didn't want help.

 

what a wonderful thing to do. i want to let you know that i think you are absolutely incredible-many people would not have caught this or would not have believed that there was anything wrong. your wife is truly lucky to have you.

 

unfortunately, i don't think that the hospital can take her against her will unless she is danger of hurting herself or possibly someone else. the next time she is having a bad episode, take her to the hospital and insist on a psych eval. look into state law on what you can do to have her committed to the hospital (i really hate that phrase) until she can get stable again.

 

Suddenly now she seems like the person that I married.

 

is this a good thing? does this mean that she has returned to 'normal'? (or perhaps she is just in a phase of hypomania-a less extreme mood)

 

I'm not really buying the infidelity caused by the drugs, because she took great lengths to cover up her actions, and the only reason that I ever found out about it was because two of the guys separately came after me because they blamed me for ruining their relationship with my wife. She denied her involvement until one of these guys produced a video of them together. I'm not sure how many people she was involved with, I suspect at least one other, possibly more. I'll never know the truth so I don't know what to think.

 

unfortunately, part of being manic depressive is not wanting help. they seek out help usually during a depressive episode and not during manic episodes. manic episodes are characterized by risky behavior and racing thoughts, feelings of grandiosity, and sexual promiscuity. you feel absolutely on top of the world, so why would you want to take something to make you come back down?? sometimes manic episodes can get so bad that the person becomes psychotic-hears voices, becomes paranoid, etc. this has happened to me and it is the most incredibly terrifying than you can ever imagine. it is why i stay on my medications. since people with bipolar disorder go in to be treated when they have depression, it is easy to see how they can be misdiagnosed: the doctors are only seeing half of their disorder.

 

giving antidepressants (without an established mood stabilizer like tegretol, depakote, or lithium) to someone with bipolar disorder is like giving sugar to a diabetic: it is the worst thing that you could do.

 

she needs to be seen by a psychiatrist. a liscensed specialist. please, please, please read everything that you can get your hands on about bipolar disorder-there is a about a 20% successful suicide rate among them, her life may just depend on you being well-informed.

 

http://my.webmd.com/hw/mental_health/ty1019.asp?z=3074_00000_1053_00_06 make sure you look at the links on the left side of the page, particularily symptoms and treatment.

 

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bipolar.cfm

 

http://www.mayoclinic.com/invoke.cfm?id=DS00356

 

http://my.webmd.com/hw/index/index-drug_data-A.asp this is a link to the webmd drug index page. you can look up her medications here. i suggest that you do.

 

another source of information is the drug manufacturers websites. you can find those by doing a simple search on the web.

[StartingAgain]

Good stuff lydiamarie. I suffered from a major depression about 11 years ago. I went into thereay and started taking Prozac. It did help with the depression, but I started have hypomania. It was not pleasant. Why should this happen? I'd had little bouts of depression in the past, but never any mania. My doc first tried to tell me that I was bipolar. I questioned this hard, since I had a good friend who was bipolar and I just didn't fit that model. I started seeing a new psychiatrist, one of the rare ones who did his one therapy. I asked him about my previous bipolar diagnosis and he said that he suspected that it was probably drug induced. He said that the antidepressants will often unmask an underlying mania. But he suspected, based on his experience with the newer SSRIs, that they themselves may actually cause the mania. As it turns out, he was right. Recent research has shown that some of the newer antidepressants can cause mania.

 

When I was taking Prozac, it hammered my libido a bit. I wasn't as interested in sex, but I still wanted it. After I'd been on it about four months, it became difficult for me to acheive orgasm. My wife loved this, of course, but it was frustrating to me. This was fixed with a bit of yohimbine. When I started having the hypomanic swings, I did indeed have a marked increase in my libido. I wanted a lot of sex, but with my wife. I felt no pressure to screw around on my wife. I stand by my earlier statement that these drugs cannot be blamed for infidelity. It is true that a full-blown manic episode can cause poor judgement and risky behavior, but it doesn't turn someone's ethics and morality off. Moreover, if your wife was in therapy, one of the things she was supposed to be learning was how to recognize and cope with the illness. My doc regularly asked me about my sex life, looking for behavioral changes, and giving me the skills I needed to cope with the swings in my libido. If I had told him that I suddenly felt the urge to screw around on my wife, my medication would have been adjusted and a few extra therapy sessions scheduled.

[SingleInTheCity]

lydiamarie I am so sorry that you have to go through this.

 

I am going to restate that i am NOT a medical professional, but i do know a thing or two about manic depression and i would be extremely surprised if this is not what she has. i'll tell you why:

 

 

quote:I've also taken zoloft and clonazepam and it never caused me to be susceptible to manipulation or coercion and it never made me promiscuous.

 

I concur - I have tried Zoloft and Clonazepam as well and just felt sleepy and seriously lacked interest or desire for sex.

 

Here is a great site to check on drug interactions for answers and links that will assist you with this issue:

http://www.drugs.com/xq/cfm/pageID_1150/int_1/list_1/values_drugid%3Dd00197%26drugid%3Dd00880%26drugid%3Dd04025%26/OpText_Remeron/dr_%2Cclonazepam%2CZoloft/qx/index.htm

[SingleInTheCity]

http://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.html

 

I thiink that's a better link

[lydiamarie]

singleinthecity-I don't think that you do agree with me. read the posts again. i think that you believe that her medications will not induce mania, leading to promiscuity. anecdote's like ours ('what the medication did to me...') don't mean anything. what you need to look at are the possible side effects and who shouldn't take it so that you know if her claims are within the realm of possibility. not everyone gets all the side effects-if we did, they wouldn't be on the market.

 

startingagain-you have suffered from bouts of hypomania (that's mild mania, for those of you who don't know). hypomania can become impairing, but it is nothing compared to what a full blown manic episode is.

 

sr31's wife had symptoms of mania (not hypomania) before she went on any medication so it seems very likely that the medication would induce manic episodes.

 

while i am glad that you have a responsible doctor, i would like to point out that sr31's wife does not seem to. she is seeing a CNA and a therapist. i don't know how she could possibly be getting the care that she needs, and in fact, it doesn't look like she is.

 

 

symptoms of mania include (you don't need them all to have an episode):

 

Feeling extremely happy (elated or euphoric) or very irritable.

Thinking very highly of yourself or your abilities (inflated self-esteem).

Not needing as much sleep as usual (may feel rested after 3 hours of sleep).

Talking more than usual.

Being more active than usual.

Difficulty concentrating due to having too many thoughts at once (racing thoughts).

Being easily distracted by sights and sounds.

Acting impulsively or doing reckless things, such as going on shopping sprees, driving recklessly, getting into foolish business ventures, or having frequent, indiscriminate, or unsafe sex.

 

http://my.webmd.com/hw/mental_health/ty1058.asp this is the webmd page that i took the list from.

[moimeme]

Lydiamarie - you GO girl! I've done a heap of reading on these disorders for my work as an advocate and you are bang on. It is totally bogus for people to say 'it never had that effect on me so that can't happen'!!!!! You'd think that humans would, at some point, figure out that we are not all identical and so that something doesn't affect one badly means nothing when there are several hundred million people on the planet and each is different.

 

StartingAgain - I don't know what sort of 'medical professional' you are, but in my advocacy work, I've found that even 'medical professionals' can be woefully uninformed about the vagaries of mental ailments - *including* psychologists and psychiatrists. If your degree isn't recent, and if you didn't do a concentration in psych and psychotoropic meds, then your knowledge isn't any greater than that of most regular mortals. There is so much new research and information coming so fast that one must dedicate a *lot* of time to studying just to keep up.

[SingleInTheCity]

singleinthecity-I don't think that you do agree with me. read the posts again. i think that you believe that her medications will not induce mania, leading to promiscuity. anecdote's like ours ('what the medication did to me...') don't mean anything. what you need to look at are the possible side effects and who shouldn't take it so that you know if her claims are within the realm of possibility. not everyone gets all the side effects-if we did, they wouldn't be on the market.

 

I actually was agreeing on the fact that I was sorry for the pain he is experiencing - my happy little mouse picked up a little more than I meant to chew.

 

I was trying to share my experience with the two meds - which ultimately I didn't end up taking because miy depression was a result of reaction to chemotherapy.

 

Sorry for the confusion sr31!!! Tje website was offered as a tool for your use or not, I hope that you stay strong as you fight through this very trying time. I wish you peace and blessings.

 

I guess you let me have it I can take it (especially when you were right)

[ladyangel]

Originally posted by StartingAgain

Good stuff lydiamarie. I suffered from a major depression about 11 years ago. I went into thereay and started taking Prozac. It did help with the depression, but I started have hypomania. It was not pleasant. Why should this happen? I'd had little bouts of depression in the past, but never any mania. My doc first tried to tell me that I was bipolar. I questioned this hard, since I had a good friend who was bipolar and I just didn't fit that model.

That's what I said when I was first diagnosed. Unfortunately, there are no "models" or molds in this disorder. There are so many varying degrees and types of Bipolar. I don't think any of us have all of the possible characteristics.

I started seeing a new psychiatrist, one of the rare ones who did his one therapy. I asked him about my previous bipolar diagnosis and he said that he suspected that it was probably drug induced. He said that the antidepressants will often unmask an underlying mania. But he suspected, based on his experience with the newer SSRIs, that they themselves may actually cause the mania. As it turns out, he was right. Recent research has shown that some of the newer antidepressants can cause mania.

Very true. My first, and worst, mania was triggered by a drug I was taking. I was subsequently diagnosed bipolar and put on the correct medications and have been successfully treated.

 

When I started having the hypomanic swings, I did indeed have a marked increase in my libido. I wanted a lot of sex, but with my wife. I felt no pressure to screw around on my wife. I stand by my earlier statement that these drugs cannot be blamed for infidelity. It is true that a full-blown manic episode can cause poor judgement and risky behavior, but it doesn't turn someone's ethics and morality off.

I agree. But not everybody handles such "cycles" the same way. Hypomanias and manias affect different people in different ways. For some people, ethics and morals are overridden by their mental state.

Moreover, if your wife was in therapy, one of the things she was supposed to be learning was how to recognize and cope with the illness. My doc regularly asked me about my sex life, looking for behavioral changes, and giving me the skills I needed to cope with the swings in my libido. If I had told him that I suddenly felt the urge to screw around on my wife, my medication would have been adjusted and a few extra therapy sessions scheduled.

You obviously had a terrific therapist and/or doctor. Not everybody is so lucky.

[StartingAgain]

"You obviously had a terrific therapist and/or doctor. Not everybody is so lucky."

 

Yes, I did. But luck had nothing to do with it. I carefully selected him after wasting time with these touchy-feely therapist, who did little more than send me off to buy the lastest self-help pop psychology book. I started by asking a physician friend the question "If you needed a therapist for yourself, who would you see?"

[PharmX]

sSRI's like Zoloft can cause hypersexuality in some people, and changes in sexual perception in others.

Since these drugs are relatively new, these social effects have not yet been completely documented.

They vary in their action greatly from person to person, depending on the receptor architecture of the individual, specifically the count and type of serotonin receptors. This receptor architecture is inborn, and is not the fault of the person.

 

There are drugs given for Parkinisonism that will cause explicit risk taking behaviors such as gambling in individuals who never had, or acted on these impulses before. Just such case was recently documented on an NPR sunday evening episode that aired about 4 weeks ago +/- a week.

 

At least your wife is honest. That is the most important thing. People who are hypersexual are gratifying a physical impulse similar to hunger. This has nothing to do with how they feel about the people they care about. The worst thing you can do to such a person is add guilt to an already oppressive mix. Get professional help.

 

One risk of taking sSRI's in combination with tricyclic antidepressants, muscle relaxants, alchohol, and other serotonin modulators is serotonin syndrome. This can cause periods of confusion and disorientation in mild cases and death in others. Watch for drug interactions, and support your wife with this information.

[Pained]

I HAVE been on mind and mood-altering medication (legal, of course, for anxiety, bipolar, and OCD), and while some things did change, I still knew right from wrong. Cheating is wrong. It's possible that these drugs did have an effect, but that doesn't make what she did right, because as someone else said, it doesn't turn your morality off, or make you forget that cheating/murder/shoplifting are all generally things you shouldn't do.

[lydiamarie]

i obviously disagree with what pained said.

 

read through the posts again if you're unclear on what my arguments are...(i've a bit of a headache, and don't feel like writing anything beyond the trivial at present moment)