FWB-The Workplace Edition.... My story.

[Kaye]

I have been in a FWB situation at work for almost a year. We had a big argument and stopped speaking for a few weeks. during that time I suspect that he is seeing or persuing a co worker and it's making me crazy. I work in an environment where at thirtysometing I am one of the oldest people. I let him know that I wanted to reconnect and he said he wanted to as well but things are not the same and now I am ashamed for telling him how I feel. I also told him that if there was someone else that I would prefer for him to be the person that I find out from. he said there is no one else. We used to talk almost every night and text throughout the day. He was so attentive and made me feel special and nothing is the same. I feel paranoid like I'm being ridiculed behind my back. I don't trust what he says or what I feel or think. Im initated NC, asked him to keep his distance and he obliged ( a little too easily ) and in desperation I decided to tell him my feelings. NC at work was very obvious to everyone and humilating for me. I need any encouragement out there to get through this- it seems to have ended and I need to move on. It's important to me to not have this feel like a public breakup and just drift apart (or have it appear that way) I would love to have a place to sort through my emotions outside of work I have no one to talk to about this because I'm ashamed to be here at this point in my life.

[Kaye]

I really hoped to have a response....just as well I guess.

[mario_C]

I have been in a FWB situation at work for almost a year. We had a big argument and stopped speaking for a few weeks. during that time I suspect that he is seeing or persuing a co worker and it's making me crazy. I work in an environment where at thirtysometing I am one of the oldest people. I let him know that I wanted to reconnect and he said he wanted to as well but things are not the same and now I am ashamed for telling him how I feel. I also told him that if there was someone else that I would prefer for him to be the person that I find out from. he said there is no one else. We used to talk almost every night and text throughout the day. He was so attentive and made me feel special and nothing is the same. I feel paranoid like I'm being ridiculed behind my back. I don't trust what he says or what I feel or think. Im initated NC, asked him to keep his distance and he obliged ( a little too easily ) and in desperation I decided to tell him my feelings. NC at work was very obvious to everyone and humilating for me. I need any encouragement out there to get through this- it seems to have ended and I need to move on. It's important to me to not have this feel like a public breakup and just drift apart (or have it appear that way) I would love to have a place to sort through my emotions outside of work I have no one to talk to about this because I'm ashamed to be here at this point in my life.

Rule #1: No intimate relationships at work. Sorry, that doesn't help you now.

Why do you feel he's seeing someone else? And if that is such an issue, why do you describe it as FWBs? Maybe I'm old and out of touch, but if you agree on an exclusive and chat throughout the day AT WORK (wow, I would like 5 minutes to hang out with my cube neighbors. must be nice) isn't that just a relationship?

I don't know, that's why they're called questions. But my opinion is, don't be too aggressive with your intimate feelings with ANYONE, especially your work boyfriend. And don't make assumptions - maybe he's upset that you're shunning him? Maybe he's going after an important promotion or deal or whatever he does in the office?

And when in doubt, see rule #1. I hope things work out for you.

[Kaye]

Rule #1: No intimate relationships at work. Sorry, that doesn't help you now.

Why do you feel he's seeing someone else? And if that is such an issue, why do you describe it as FWBs? Maybe I'm old and out of touch, but if you agree on an exclusive and chat throughout the day AT WORK (wow, I would like 5 minutes to hang out with my cube neighbors. must be nice) isn't that just a relationship?

I don't know, that's why they're called questions. But my opinion is, don't be too aggressive with your intimate feelings with ANYONE, especially your work boyfriend. And don't make assumptions - maybe he's upset that you're shunning him? Maybe he's going after an important promotion or deal or whatever he does in the office?

And when in doubt, see rule #1. I hope things work out for you.

 

I guess I never had to give it any name before.... When it began, he was new to the job and we both tried to ignore our attraction but we did have a talk about it and decided that we would be discreet about interacting with each other in the office. Our shifts overlap (he's evening maintenance) so I would hang around a little as my shift was ending and his was beginning. It evolved into us doing things after work and on weekends. I had mystery flowers and gifts and notes etc. People started to notice that I had access to him and would ask me (in particular) whether he is in today and could I call him to come in early etc. He had this bright idea that he should try to ask out my co worker to throw people off the trail. He said she was quiet and probably would say no without making a scene. WTH ? So we had our argument and made up and I notice the two of them one day. They do not acknowledge each other in my presence and she asks me what time am I scheduled to leave. One day I answered and said I was staying late and she gave me a frustrated sarcastic "really" . I was in her area filling in for someone who was out so I followed their shchedule which would be perfectly normal any other time. There are other little thngs that I noticed that are too lengthy to get into. I guess I was so busy having fun to realize how attached I had become to him . But boy do I wish I had followed Rule 1. Thank you so much for the response....